Vampire Knight Lustful dreams mature
by Adrieana Montana
Summary: This about you, waking up in Yuki's body. You finally are able to see what Zero is all about. To be with him. Is it all you ever wanted?
1. Chapter 1

This was suppose to be just a one shot, but many wanted more. So i am now, adding more chapters to it. Let me know how you like it. Reviews mean alot to me. it shows me you like what your reading.

Chapter Dreams

It's late at night, I am laying in bed, just thinking about how. I wished Zero Kiryu was real. What it would be to be with him, even if It was just one night. To hold him close, to make love to his sweet body. Its a fun thought, even though it will never happen. How could it? He isn't real.

I lay there for a little while before I start to drift off to sleep. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes. Seeing how boring my regular adult life is. What I would give for a little spice. Drifting off to sleep, yawning away.

The alarm goes off, and it seems like I just fell asleep. I stretch myself out in bed, rub my eyes before opening them. I take a double take, realizing this isn't my room. Where is my Husband? My children? Why does everything look so different?

I look over the room, there is another bed with another young woman sleeping in it. I don't recognize her since she is under the covers, and I can't see her face. I get up to go over to check out more of my surroundings. Passing by my dresser mirror. I about shit, WTF? I take a double take, I am Yuki Cross? Or I am in her body? What the hell is going on? I run to the window and look out, seeing students walking around getting ready for class. I see them in the Cross uniform. My first thought is holy shit, I get to see Zero. I am in Yuki's body, so I don't have to do much. He is already in love with her. It was her that was dumb and couldn't make up her mind, but I can!

I quickly grab my uniform and go to the shower. I wash myself all up, shaving my legs, my armpits and making sure, I am spotless from head to toe. Knowing I would be around Zero. I put on the uniform, which makes me feel powerful, just sliding on each piece. Seeing the bracelet that can control Zero makes me get tingles. Which now reminds me, he will need me. He needs her blood which at the moment happens to be mine. Which will make him have to touch me. I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

Back to reality or whatever this is, I finish up getting dressed. I even put on a little makeup trying to be girly and bring out some of Yuki's finer points. I then hurry up and grab my backpack heading to class. I think, its been at least twenty years since I have been in class. I have to act like Yuki or at least a school girl? Thinking about it, act like Yuki? Well, I am nothing like her, I sure am not a cry baby and I know what I want. Then I'm a woman, not a child, but still, she did lack on a lot of things. I have to be somewhat like her or Zero will notice. I am sorry but I can't run after Kaname. I sit there and think, while Yagari is teaching. I want to turn around to stare at Zero to finally get a glimpse of the man, I been drooling over for months now. I just don't want anyone to see me. So I stay looking at Yagari who isn't bad on the eyes either. I am amazed at how tall he is.

When class is finally done, I pretend to be gathering my books, so Zero could walk by me. I so want to see him. He comes walking down from his desk. Stopping at mine. This tall, gorgeous, silver haired boy is standing right in front of me. He is even more gorgeous than I ever imagined, he would be. His lavender eyes take my breath away. It's like staring into diamonds.

"Yuki are you ok?" Zero asks. I stand there just staring at him, forgetting I am Yuki. "Yuki?" Zero says shaking me. "Oh, sorry Zero, I didn't get that much sleep last night. I guess. I need to tonight." I respond. "Will you be doing your shift tonight?" Zero asks. "Of course. You will be there too, right?" I ask. "Yea, I will be there. Not like I have anything else to do. Like sleep or catch up on homework." Zero responds. "Your smart, You get good grades even without studying. It's me that needs the extra help." I respond. "If you need me to help you with your work. Just ask." Zero states. "That sounds good. Maybe later." I reply. "What's with the makeup? You never wear that during school. " Zero asks. "I wanted to try something different. How do you like it?" I ask. "It looks fine." Zero comments.

He sure wasn't one for compliments, but I will take it. We both leave the classroom. Heading to our rooms to get ready for our night shifts. Watching the night class. I really wasn't looking forward to this. I couldn't fake running or drooling over Kaname. I mean he is hot. I will give him that but Zero is the one I want in every way, shape, and form. I am not one to mess around or beat around the bush. So this was going to be something. Not to mention, I never fought vampires. If one shows up. I'm shit out of luck. There are no vampires in the real world. What the hell was I going to do? Scream and hope Zero shows up to save my ass would probably be it. Artemis weights more than me, or at least it looks like it does. Then I thought, I am in her body, it should be ok. I hope.

My Nerves act up just thinking about seeing Zero again. His eyes were still in my mind. Not to mention that body. I wanted this for so damn long. I'm not going to waste any time, I am in her body. So he thinks its the love of his life. What do I have to be afraid of? Pretty much, that I haven't done this in forever. And that just looking at him makes me wobble. Yea, I'm good. If I don't pass out or vomit on him. God, I'm not a teenager. Oh shit, in real life I would be robbing the cradle... Stop thinking like that. This isn't real life. I am still not sure what the hell this is, but who cares.

After having a pep talk with myself, which wasn't much of one. I get washed and dressed again putting on my sash. Heading out the door. I spot Zero waiting at the door.

"It's about time," Zero says. "Excuse me, I had to get ready," I answer. Trying to be somewhat like Yuki. Staring at him again. "Are you sure your ok?" Zero asks. "I'm Fine," I answer.

We go to stand and guard as the night class comes out, Kaname leading the pack like always. As he passes by me, he smiles. I just give a light smile in return. Zero looking at me, not sure of what he just saw. No drooling, or turning colors after Kaname. I was still staring at Zero. Watching every move he made. Doing everything I could to try to hide how he makes me feel.

After our shift, Zero heads back to his dorm. Not saying much to me. I go back to mine and get my math book. Figuring I would go to his room and pretend I need help. Which wasn't that far fetched. It has been twenty years since I have done math like this. I needed a refresher course, to say the least. Anyway, it would give me time to be alone with Zero. Maybe even make a move? Or get close somehow. I still didn't know how that was going to happen, I was just sure I would make it happen. This was my chance. I would be an idiot not to.

I run to his dorm room knocking on the door. No one answering. I remember Yuki always walking in no matter what anyway. So I do the same. The room is empty, I just lay my books down on his bed. Looking around. Seeing his white shirt on the floor. I pick it up and just smell it. It smells of him. Like lavender and vanilla. God, could he get any sexier? I take off my uniform jacket and that dumb red tie. I lay it on his desk chair. I then remember the adjoining bathroom they spent most of their time in. I figure what the hell, why not see if he is in there. What do I have to lose? Besides blood right? Or her blood anyway.

I walk down and knock on the door.

"Zero are you in there?" I ask. " Go away." Zero says panting. Trying to catch his breath.

I know right away, he is in need of blood. I remember all the signs from watching the anime. I remember Yuki just busting in, not caring about space. So I do the same.

"Zero are you oK?" I ask as I open the door. Walking in on a half naked Zero. I about fall with my shaking knees. Looking at his very well toned chest. "I am fine. You need to go." Zero responds. "I know you need blood. I am here for you to take it." I answer. Undoing my white blouse and throwing it to the other side of the bathroom. Being in only my white lace bra.

Zero just looks at me, not sure this is the goody, goody Yuki. Standing in front of him, in her bra and short black skirt. I put my hands on his ripped sexy pale chest. Pushing him up against the wall, sliding his slender body to the floor with me. I sit on his lap, looking into his lavender eyes. I wrap my arms around him. Pushing my body up against his, and making my neck exposed in front of his lips. Which takes him no time to notice. He licks, my neck preparing it, which sends shivers down my spine. Just his tongue setting off flames within my body which Lets my body grind into his more. Feeling his manhood on my thigh. Which excites me in every way. This was my chance and I wasn't going to mess it up! I was finally face to face with the man of my dreams. Who made me hotter than any real man could. I wasn't letting go.

Zero sinks his fangs into my neck. Taking what he needs. While he does, I feel pleasure and pain running throughout my body. I just keep pushing myself on top on him. Hoping to get some reaction. He was a good man, but not a dead one. Which I feel soon enough, as his manhood raises and pushes up against my womanhood. My arms wrap around him tighter as my head is laying on his shoulder. My breasts pushing into his chest, as one of his hands is holding my back, and then the other in my hair. I just sigh from his touch. Not able to help myself.

Once he is done taking my blood, I don't let go. Not wanting to break away from him. Not giving him time to come to. I just go for the kiss. Lifting my head up to look into his eyes, I then put my lips on his. His sweet tender lips that I dreamt about kissing forever. His arms just wrap around me, pulling me closer then before, if that was even possible. My Mind goes a little hazy.

"Zero I want you," I whisper in his ear. "Yuki are you sure? What about Kaname?" Zero asks. "I don't want him, I want you. I finally come to my senses. You're the only man I see and want. I want to be one with you. Make love to me." I respond. Not even sure where I got the courage to say that but it blurted out now.

Zero not sure, of what he heard. Since Yuki was always unstable. Where I just said the words he has been waiting for hear to say forever. He just sits there, it all taking time to register. Zero so happy with the words that she doesn't want Kaname. He thinks he is the one dreaming. "Fuck you Kaname," Zero says out loud. Looking into my eyes.

"Zero I love you," I state. "Really?" Zero asks with shock. "Of course Silly. I wouldn't say it otherwise." I reply. Grabbing his face and kissing him passionately. I knew I would have to take the steps. Since Zero was always used to being Mr. Nice guy. Which always gets him nowhere.

We keep kissing passionately until we have to break to breath, which doesn't stop me from kissing the side where his tattoo is. Placing light small kisses on each part of the tattoo. Going up to his ear which I nibble on. His hands going up and down my back, where he finally undoes my bra. I just snicker to myself, saying he is getting the hang of this.

I go back to his lips, where I kiss him. Running my hands through his luscious silver hair. Pushing it back from his eyes, so I can look straight into them. When all of a sudden, he picks me up carrying me to his bed. laying me gently on top of it. Then going to remove my skirt. I let him do whatever he wants to me. Feeling total trust in him. Knowing he would never hurt Yuki. He kisses up my leg, my thigh, to my womanhood making me tremble with want and desire. He then slides my White lace panties down my legs. Sliding his body in between my legs. His hands lightly rubbing my breast as he has one in his mouth licking and sucking on my nipple making me moan, and ache my body up against his. My hands roam down his body to undo his belt. So eager to see what he has for me. He sits up pulling his pants and underwear off. Where I'm not disappointed at all. Seeing his large hard member. I just can't wait to feel. So Far there wasn't even one thing wrong with this man. You knew he wasn't real. He was perfect.

He slides back to my body, looking at me for permission. Which I Nod. He rubs my womanhood with his hand, sliding his finger in making sure it's wet enough to take the rest. He slides his finger in and out, making it even wetter, watching my reaction which only seems to get him hotter. My body aching up needing more. Needing him to fill me up.

"Zero Please," I say. Zero just smirks as he places himself at my entrance. He slides in slowly, breaking Yuki's barrier. Zero smelling the blood and knowing, I gave him something special. Which makes him, even happier, Yuki didn't give it to Kaname.

Suck that Kaname, I gave it to him this time! I say to myself while I try to adjust to his size and the pain.

"Tell me when to move," Zero says Kissing my lips. "Now," I reply. He goes slow, in and out and then picks up the pace. Moving faster and harder. Each new thrust brings more pleasure. I wrap my legs around his waist making him go in deeper. Not able to control how I feel, I keep pushing myself closer against him as we thrust harder and deeper. Feeling this warm sensation in my stomach. He makes my body feel as if its on fire.

"I love you Yuki," Zero says. "I love you to Zero Always," I reply. Giving him all he ever wanted. We keep going until we both explode. Holding each other close. He rolls on his side of the bed taking me with him. My head laying on his chest which I kiss. Wrapping my arms around him. "I don't want this to end, "I tell him. "Me either." He replies.

Where I meant it. Was I going to wake up in the morning to my regular life? Or would I be able to spend more time with Zero? Giving him, everything she didn't? I wasn't sure but either way, I would never forget this night, So I wasn't going to let it end this quickly. I would make love to him, all night doing everything to him, I ever imaged. If when Morning came and I was back to reality, at least this dream was everything and more. I would have no regrets.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, you guys wanted more So here you are. Please review and let me know what you think. Reviews mean alot it lets me know how you feel and if you like what your reading.

Chapter 2 Morning

After making love all night long, and getting to know each and every single part of this gorgeous man's body, it's now morning. I haven't slept one wink. First, because I was a little busy getting to know the man beside me, and second because I am scared to death if I go to sleep. I will wake up back in my own world. Which I have to say right now, I don't want to return. I want to get to know Zero more. Not only sexually but in other ways. I just knew the more I stayed here the more he would know something was up.

After the first round, I didn't act anything like Yuki. I let myself go figuring, I was going to wake up and this would be over. So why not do all the things you dreamed of right? Let's just say Zero was one happy content man at the moment, but I was sure he would have questions.

I am so tired. I could fall asleep right now looking at his sweet face. He is out cold sleeping next to me. I can't help but cuddle up to his warm sensuous body. He made every fantasy, I ever had come true. Just he thinks I am someone else. I sigh, as I kiss his lovely lean chest. Feeling at least I got to be with him. I am lying next to the man I adore. It's more than I could ever have wished for.

While I am there admiring him, the alarm goes off. Waking Mr. Sleepy head. He lifts one eye, peeking to look at me. Still in a bit of shock himself that all this really took place.

"Good morning Mr. Sleepy head," I say. As I kiss him on his lips. "Morning, That wasn't a dream?" Zero asks. "No, I am still here, "I reply. A little shocked myself that I am still here but happy none the less.

"Yuki you don't regret everything we did last night?" Zero asks. "No, not at all. To be honest, I was so scared it would end. I did everything I could to you. So I wouldn't regret that I never got the chance to." I respond. "So that is where all that came from? I didn't think you knew how to do any of that, or even knew about it." Zero comments. "Neither did I. You just happen to bring out a fire in me, I never felt before. I want to do with you things, I never have done. I love you Zero. I want you to know that no matter what happens. That part is true."I say. As I caress his cheek with my hand.

"I love you too. What about Kaname?" Zero asks. "What about him?" I respond. "He isn't going to be too happy about this. Are you going to tell him we are together? Are we together?" Zero asks.

I sit up in bed, Looking straight into Zero's eyes.

"Listen to me. I don't want Kaname. Yea I know in the past, I was an idiot chasing him around. I do have feelings for him but as family. I don't want him in the way, I want you. I want to be with you forever. You're the one I want to marry and have children with. So Yes we are together." I respond.

Thinking oh shit, I might of went way too far, too fast. Yuki never even had a brain cell to think this far ahead. He may think something is up real fast. The real Yuki would have probably just sat there and cried not knowing still who she wanted. Still Dreaming of Kaname... I think. Rolling my eyes.

Zero just sits there, confused and not sure what is going on. As I sit there and yawn.

Not knowing how to respond to what I just told him. He just pretends. I didn't say it.

"Did you get any rest?" Zero asks. "No, I was a little busy," I reply. "You need some sleep. You can't run on empty." Zero responds. "Don't worry. I have done it before. We need to get dressed for class. Oh, darn. We never went over the math. I may be in be trouble today."I say out loud. "Don't worry, I will help you with it tonight, after our shift. Are you going to be able to do our shift without any sleep?" Zero asks.

This might be my way out of it. Not really wanting to see Kaname. I have nothing to say to him or even care. I can't fake shit I don't feel. Nor can I fight Vampires.

"Maybe I will take a nap? Do you mind doing a shift without me? I would be more refreshed while you tutor me, and a few other things." I respond. "Well, aren't you a bit naughty? And Sure. After Class, you get some sleep. I will meet you back here after I am done." Zero says. "Sounds good," I reply, Siting in his lap and giving him a long passionate kiss. "I see you still feel that same as last night, "Zero says. Still not sure about any of it. Still a ton of questions running through his mind. Not believing anything I said, and mostly scared. I am just covering because I didn't want to hurt him.

"Of course, What am I going to do to prove to you how I really feel about you?" I answer. "It's going to take time. I am not used to it. I never thought you would feel this way about me. I never thought. I would be with you for real. I thought you picked Kaname." Zero admits. "Can we please forget about him? I will do anything I have to, to make you know. I am for real." I respond. "Did Kaname do anything to you? That you all of a sudden feel like this towards him?" Zero asks.

I see, that I need to cool it. That he is noticing something is wrong. That me being honest, is making him wonder.

"No, Kaname hasn't done anything. I just finally see things clearly. I know in the past, I was always indecisive, but I know what I want now. It's you. I am so much closer to you. I realized that I just cared so much about Kaname because he saved me. I felt obligated to him. I am not in love with him." I respond. "Wow, I don't know what to say. Yuki are you ok? I never thought you would say this. Or even realize it. You seem so different. So much more mature. You finally see that bastard for what he really is." Zero answers.

Yea well, I'm not a twit like Yuki. I think to myself. While I am here I will try to undo all the bad shit she did to you. I will make you realize just how special you really are.

I just smack him, as she would. Trying to get off the subject.

"I think we need to get ready. We are already way late." I reply. "Yea your right. The class already started around thirty minutes ago." Zero responds.

We both get up, needing a shower. We are already late whats a bit more. I take Zero's hand and bring him to the adjoining bathroom. Putting on the shower and getting in with him. I want to make this last, as I don't know how much longer, I can stay up. I can't stop staring at him. I want to stay with him forever, make all his fears disappear. Make him as happy as I can. Even if I can, I am still Yuki. Not even myself.

She doesn't deserve him and to be honest, neither does Kaname. They both deserve someone who knows what they want. Who can give them all there love. Fully and truthfully. Not someone shifting back and forth and aways in the dark.

Once in the shower, I start washing his chest rubbing my hands up and down his body. Lathering him up. His silver grey hair all wet and dripping down his face. I just giggle at him. To me, he is adorable no matter what.

He sees me giggle and he grabs my hands pinning them to the white tile wall behind me. Kissing me passionately. Our fingers intertwine as our bodies become one. The warm water running down both of our bodies as Zero thrusts inside me, our moans just radiating off the title walls making it more of a turn on. We stay in the bathroom for at least another thirty minutes. Getting all I can of this sexy Vampire. Making him mine over and over again. Just now I wish he knew it was me, and not think its Yuki.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

We get dressed and walk to class, I can't help but to hold his hand. No one around to really see, since everyone is already in class. We get to the class doo,r where I just look at him and smile. We enter the room, Yagari looking at us.

"Glad you two could finally join us. Hurry and have a seat." Yagari says.

I take a seat next to Yori, as Zero goes in the back not really caring about class, he starts taking a nap. A Nap? How good that sounds about now. I am so tired. I can't think straight. Yagari is talking but I don't hear a word he is saying. I am still thinking about everything that has been taking place. This was supposed to be a dream right? Dreams don't normally last this long. Not that I am complaining, but something isn't right. I know, right now, I won't be able to hold off on sleep much longer. I just don't want to leave, not yet. Then I sit there and think If I am in Yuki's body. Where the hell is Yuki? In my world? With my family? I know right off. I don't have to worry about her doing anything with my husband. Took her long enough to do things with the men she supposedly loved. Oh thats right, she jumped Kaname a lot faster than poor Zero. Just not this time, no wonder he is sleeping, I did work him over. I smirk to myself.

But really, where is she? The people around me look real, not in a dream. I can touch them. What was really going on? I had no clue. I sit there and keep thinking about all kinds of things. Like how long could I avoid Kaname? I was sure he would come looking for his precious Yuki Sooner or later. What do I tell him? I don't want to be too mean, he really didn't do anything to me. I just don't like all he had done to Zero. What if Yuki and I change back? Then what? She won't feel like this towards Zero and it will hurt him. This may do much more damage to him. I really don't want that. I want to make him feel like he should. Special. I am so lost. I don't know what to do.

Before I know it class is over, Yori tugging on my uniform jacket.

"Yuki, are you ok? The class is over." Yori says. "I'm fine. Just a little tired. I see. Zero is still snoozing up there as well. He is so cute." I answer. Forgetting I am Yuki." Cute Huh? Is There Something I should know?" Yori asks. "

Do I lie? If I am around for a bit, I am sure she will notice me wanting to touch him. Kiss him? Do I tell the truth? Shit, this is more complicated then I wanted. If I do tell her, how I feel about him. It should make him feel good. That my feelings are real and I am telling people.

"Yes, I love Zero," I respond. "We all know that. You would do anything for anyone. " Yori replies. "Not like that, I mean I am in love with him. I just finally saw how much I really care for him." I answer."OH, I am so glad you finally saw it too." Yori responds. "You knew?" I ask. "Of course. I knew he cared for you for a long time. You did tell him right?" Yori asks. "Yes, He knows. I better go wake him, so we can go to lunch." I reply. Walking over to him.

"Zero, It's time to get up. Its lunch time." I say as I shake him lightly."Do I have to? I am so tired. I think you wore me out." Zero answers. "That might be true but you can't sleep here in class all day. Some food might give you some strength back."I giggle.

As I start to walk away, his hand pushes me up against him. "Yuki is this really You?" Zero asks looking into my eyes. I just pause, If I tell the truth he won't believe me. He may just hate me.

"Yea of course silly,"I comment touching his cheek. Zero pulls me in for a kiss, which I gladly accept. I see that he is very confused still. Not even his sarcastic butt head of a self. I see he is scared to let himself believe that Yuki really feels this way about him. It seems, he is just as scared as me that this may just all disappear.

I kiss him back, holding him close to me. Not caring who sees. I am not like Yuki, I want to scream from the rooftop, that I love him.

We both walk hand and hand to the lunch room sitting down next to Yori who just stares at us, not knowing what is going on. She is Yuki's best friend, I think she is realizing something is up even more so than Zero. Since she isn't in a love fog that Zero is in. We sit there eating, and talking. I give special attention to Zero. Talking about all kinds of things and trying to get to know him a little better. Which only goes so far as he still is blocked off. I do see him a bit happier then he was. When I go for his hand or to be close he does his best not to use his natural instincts to push me away. I just see that the instinct is still there. He is afraid of getting hurt.

Later that night, its time for our shifts watching the night class. I have no desire to see Kaname, So I tell Zero I am going to bed. He walks me to his room, where I take a seat on his bed. Just watching him getting ready for the night. I just watch and can't help myself, but let tears stream down my face, scared if I fall asleep. I will never see him again.

"Yuki what's wrong?" Zero asks, Seeing me cry. I grab his hand and let him sit next to me where I hug him tightly. Scouting myself on his lap. I wrap my arms and legs around him. Laying my head on his shoulder.

"Nothing is wrong. I just want you to know. The last day and a half have been wonderful. You have given me everything I wanted and more. I just don't want it to end." I say. "I won't leave you Yuki. You never have to fear that."Zero replies. "If I ever have to leave you its not by choice. If I could, I would spend my life with you." I state. "Then let's do so." Zero answers. I just nod, not knowing for how long this will last. "You better be on your way. I need to get some sleep. I am dying here." I say. It taking everything I have to let go of him. I look up into his face and take a deep look into his eyes. Wanting the picture to stay with me for always. I hold back tears as inside I am falling apart. He gets up, leaving the room heading out into the dorm. Not knowing anything that really is happening.

I sit on his bed, lost in emotions. Why do I care so much? This hold he has on me is something no other has ever had on me. I don't even want to go back to my real life. I want to stay here and take care of him. Watch over him. I sit there and think, once Yuki is back in her body, things will go back to normal. Zero being pushed over for Kaname once again. Feeling everything we shared wasn't true or real. Feeling Yuki used him or played with him. Which wasn't true at all. I gather a pen and some paper and write him a note explaining it all. Telling him that, I love him dearly, I am just not his beloved Yuki, but everything that we shared was real. I slide it into an envelope and place it in his desk. So at least now, he will have some explanation.

I then take a shower, almost falling asleep in there. I place one of Zero's pullovers on. Smelling his scent making me calm inside. I Get into his bed under his covers feeling him everywhere. It takes no time for me to fall asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Zero is out doing his shift, which is nothing for him. Everyone was scared to death of him. One glare and everyone stood still. He just stands there, watching Kaname come out with his cronies. Smirking to himself.

Kaname takes a look around and doesn't see Yuki.

"Is Yuki Ok Kiryu?" Kaname asks. "Yes, She is fine. She needed some rest. She will be back at this tomorrow." Zero answers. "Tell her I asked about her," Kaname says. "I'm not one of your errand boys. Why would I ever mention you to her." Zero replies walking away.

Feeling he has the upper hand at the moment. He knew that Kaname didn't know everything that has taken place. Zero thought to himself, he wasn't even understanding what was taking place himself.

He goes to the roof of the dorm, sitting there keeping watch. Reliving everything he thinks Yuki has done to him, in the last day and a half. Not able to get her touch and lips out of his mind. The way she all of a sudden looks at him and desires him like a woman. How she acts like a woman and not a child anymore.

"Could this be? All of a sudden, she changes like this?" Zero keeps asking himself. Still very unsure and confused. The way she talks about Kaname as if he means nothing to her. Like he never has. She didn't even come out here tonight to see him. This isn't like her at all. It's like all she sees is me? Zero states. Just sitting there running things through his mind over and over again.

The night shift goes by pretty fast, as he keeps thinking about things. He walks to his dorm room bringing some dinner. Knowing that Yuki and himself would be hungry. He opens the door to his room, seeing Yuki cuddling under the covers in his bed. The site brings a smile to his face. One he hasn't had in a long time. He goes over to the bed sitting on top of the covers, just letting her rest. Knowing that the both of them really needed some sleep. He takes off his black uniform jacket, throwing it over to his desk chair. The red tie shortly after following. He slides his body down, relaxing on the pillow. Just watching Yuki sleep. He pushes a strand of her hair out of her eyes. This was the woman, he was desperately in love with. The woman he trusted laying beside him.

I feel the bed shift, as I lay there sleeping. I am scared to open my eyes. What will I find? I feel a light touch on my face. Is it him? I slowly open my eyes, to see that I am right where I fell asleep. The man I love looking at me. Wait, what? I jump up in bed. Looking all around. I am still here? I am still with him? I say to myself, as my heart is beating out of my chest.

"Yuki are you ok? What's wrong?" Zero says. "Nothing, Nothing at all," I reply hugging him tightly. "How was everything tonight?" I ask. " Fine, Kaname was wondering where you were. I told him you needed sleep. Everything else was normal and quiet." Zero responds. "Great," I answer. "You looked a little surprised to be here when you woke up? Are you rethinking things?" Zero asks. "No, not at all. I think I was just so happy to see things were real." I respond. "Thats good to know. Are you hungry?" Zero asks. "Starved," I reply. "I brought us some food. I figured you would be." Zero answers. Grabbing the bag on the nightstand and putting it in the bed.

We sit there together talking and eating. Enjoying the night. Never getting tired of just being together. Not pretending to be Yuki. Just being myself. I feel so comfortable with Zero. I can just let everything go. It's like I have known him all my life. I actually get him to smile and laugh. Which makes my heart light up. Maybe I can really make him happy? Maybe I can be everything he wants and needs? I am not sure for how long but while I am here, I will give it all I have.

He gets up to leave to take his shower, While he is in the shower, He starts thinking again. She is so different. Just in a good way. Where was this all the time? It's like she is a different person just one I like even better than before. She is still good hearted but she sees me for me. She takes my feelings to heart not wanting to hurt me. Making sure she doesn't. Kaname doesn't even come up in conversation unless I am the one to bring him up. She is everything I really wanted and more. Is this really Yuki? He asks himself.

He then heads back to bed, getting in under the covers where we cuddle. I can't help but to show him how much, I am attracted to him. I love being close to him and he notices this. We cuddle close together, where our bodies intertwine as we Fall asleep.

It's been a few weeks, that me and Zero have been hanging out romanticly. I have been avoiding Kaname like the plead. Not wanting to explain or say really anything to him. When I see him when we are guarding, I just smile at him to keep things nice. I saw that he looked at me differently at the beginning, so i am sure he knows me and Zero are sexual now. I remembered they can smell people on you, which i have to say creeps me out.

While I have been with Zero it has been great. He is actually acting like a normal teenaged boy. He feels free with me and is able to now start sexual encounters. Not always waiting for me to go to him anymore. I also see that he is happy. It's such a great thing to see.

We spend a lot of time together, during school hours and then afterward. I spend the night in his room. I do let him have free time going to white lily and just sleeping there. I know he needs his free time. We all do. It's just sometimes, I feel I smother him, only because I am not sure when this is going to end, and I won't be able to see him again. I try to take each day as a gift.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

During school hours, Yagari tells me that Kaien would like me to have a word with him in his office. I think nothing of it. Figuring he wants to talk to me about the disciplinary committee stuff. I still feel a little worried about it, but being with Zero gives me confidence. So I don't mind it like I did when I first got here.

I head to headmasters office, knowing I am going to find Mr. Crybaby. Which doesn't bother me at all. I know he always meant well. I bang on the door and Kaien tells me to come in. When I open the door to go in, standing in front of his broken cracked desk. That Zero beat up. I just see him staring at me weirdly.

"Is there anything wrong father?" I ask. "I am not sure." Kaien answers. "What do you mean?" I say. "Look, I been watching you the last few weeks. I know your not my Yuki. So who are you?" Kaien asks.

I just look at him, like I was just punched in the stomach. What do I say? How does he know the truth?

"How did you find out?" I ask. "It didn't take much, your not much like Yuki. Your sweet, kind, nice but at the same time, you more adult like. I also see what you and Kiryu have been doing. What do you want with him?" Kaien says. "I love him, with all my heart. I am from another universe. One where your world is just a book and a tv show. I saw Zero and fell in love. I couldn't get him out of my mind. I kept dreaming of him, and one day, I just woke up in Yuki's body. I thought it was just a dream. So I went along with it. Thinking that I would go to sleep and then wake up back into my universe. It Just didn't happen that way. Which I am so glad for. Zero is my everything and everything we have been doing is true." I respond.

"Really? He thinks you are Yuki. Not whoever you really are. Do you think when he finds out, your not who he thinks he is going to love you?" Kaien states. "I am not sure. Its why I haven't told him. But he has to see that I am a bit different than her." I respond. "There are things that have to happen here for Zero to progress as he should. There are also things needed for Yuki. Which none have been happening since you arrived." Kaien states. "Yea, like Yuki is a pureblood? And Kaname has to bite her? I haven't gone near him. I can't hurt Zero. I am not like Yuki. I don't want Kaname." I answer. "Thats fine, but I am not sure, how long this can keep going. Kaname knows that truth as well. Its the only thing keeping him from attacking Zero." Kaien admits. "Zero is innocent in this. I don't want him hurt. When Yuki gets turned. Thats going to hurt him terribly. You know what she is. Why don't you be a man and tell them. Instead of hiding behind Kamane." I yell. "It's just the way things have to be." Kaien states.

I leave his office, knowing that things are going to change. That no matter how much I love him, I can't protect him. I go to him, wanting to maybe try to explain.

"What did headmaster want? " Zero asks. "Nothing much. Zero do you enjoy our time together?" I ask. "Of course I do. We get along really well, to be honest, better now than before. You seem very different." Zero admits. "I am different, in a lot of ways. A totally different person." I say. " l Like this person better." Zero says.

Not giving me a chance to say anything further, he kisses me. Pulling me close to his body. Making me lose every ounce of composer I have. I just keep kissing him. Placing small kisses all over his face, telling him I love him. He just chuckles at me. As I undo his white shirt throwing it on the floor. I kiss down his neck, to his chest. Where I kiss, lick and suck on his nipples. Making him moan and get even more turned on. I then kiss down his belly, licking his belly button, and I go further down, kissing his hairline. Looking into his eyes the whole time. I then undo his belt buckle, pulling his pants and underwear down his slender long legs. Throwing his shoes to the side as I take them off so I can get the pants fully off.

I work my way back up to his thighs, Where I kiss the center of his left thigh, light breathing on it, giving him goosebumps. I lightly grab his shaft, with my hands. Slowly going up and down with my hand, as I lick the top of his head. Making him buck into me. I can see. I make him lose control as well. I smirk to myself. Saying Yuki has nothing on me.

I lick down his shaft making it all wet, as I then slide it into my mouth. Going up and down till he can't take it any longer and lets loose. His silver grey hair now wet with sweat, hanging in between his eyes. I just look up at him panting and trying to gather himself. I don't give him much time to as I move my lips back up his body to his mouth. Where I kiss him passionately. He just pushes my body closer to his. Needing to feel me. He takes off my white dress shirt, red tie, and skirt now. Where I am still sitting on top of his lap. Now totally naked. He kisses down my neck, to my breasts giving them both equal attention. As I slide myself down on top of his hard member. He grabs my ass, helping me go up and down. Moving up and down faster and faster. Harder and harder until both of us are lost in ecstasy. I scream out his name, which only makes him take me harder making me feel every single inch of him inside me. I lose control climaxing right there as he does the same. Filling me with his seed.

Still holding my body close to his, I just lay flat on top of him. Not wanting to break body contact. I just hold him, Scared this was soon going to end. I was going to lose my white knight, that I loved more than anything. I have loved before. I look up at his face, all sweaty and him catching his breath. I Kiss him lightly. Telling him

"I love you, never forget that. Even when times have you thinking, that I don't. Remember the woman lying here in your arms right now, will always and forever love you. No matter what."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I snuggle up to his warm body, not wanting to ever let go. He falls asleep, holding me close to him. I want to tell him the truth, but there is something that stops me. Kaien's words run over and over in my mind." Do you think he will love you?" That hurts me more than you could know. It wasn't fair that a woman, that loved him truly and fully, he wouldn't see. Yet, one that played with his heart and mind he would. Then that wasn't just in anime. That was in real life as well. It just hurt. I was willing to leave everything to be his. I just wasn't sure, if he would feel the same. If he would still be in love with this twit, that couldn't make up her mind to save herself, Or care for me?.

Would I hate Yuki if it wasn't for Zero? No, Not really. She wasn't a bad person. She did have some good points. She was caring and good. Just she really needed to grow up and make up her mind. Even When Kaname wasn't there anymore, she still took forever to be with Zero. Yea the pureblood shit, there was always something. I know. I know. It just gets old.

I knew things would have to take place in the Anime for Zero to move on. The part about Zero drinking Ichuri dry had to take place so he would be able to live. What was the point if he would turn level E and Die? That isn't what I wanted. I knew for some parts to happen, that might mean I would return to my world.

I just look up at him, taking in how gorgeous he is, and hug him tighter. I just wanted him to know the truth in case that happened. I didn't want Yuki to get the benefit of my feelings. Or for him to think, I left him. Would I be able to tell him face to face? I doubted it, but I would have to try. If when I would go back, Yuki would have no idea and would hurt him even more. I couldn't let that happen. I didn't want him hurt.

I just laid there all night not falling asleep. Just holding him and enjoying being close to him. Even when he was being an ass, I still loved him. I knew he was hurt and things that happened to him wasn't fair. I understood why he was the way he was.

When morning comes, Zero wakes up in my arms. I just kiss his lips tenderly. Smiling up at him, tears rolling down my cheeks. I just can't help but fear, he will hate me.

"Yuki what is wrong? Why are you crying?" Zero asks. "I have something to tell you. I am not sure. How you're going to take it. Or even believe it." I say. "Just tell me. You know I am here for you." Zero answers.

I sit up in bed, on the opposite side and look straight at him. He isn't making this any easier. He is holding my hands and looking back at me so sweetly.

"Zero, The last four weeks have been incredible for me. Everything we have shared, I want you to know is true. None of it is a lie." I state. "I know. Are you changing your mind? You're going to him aren't you?" Zero snaps. "No, None of that. Zero, I'm not Yuki." I answer. "What do you mean Not Yuki? Is this a game? WTF?" Zero huffs. "Calm your sarcastic ass for a second. Look, four weeks ago, I was in my own universe. I was thinking about you all the time. Wanting to be with you. Just in my universe your not real. It could never be. I went to bed with you on my mind and winded up in Yuki's body. I thought it was a dream. That No matter what I did, it wouldn't matter. I would wake up and it would be over. So I played her. I made love with you. Something I dreamed of for a long time. Just I haven't went back into my world yet. Kaien knows and told me things have to happen here so that probably means, I won't be here much longer. I don't want you to think that any of that was a lie. Or that when Yuki returns, she changed her mind. It's not her. It's me!" I blurt out. "Who the hell are you? WHere IS YUKI?" Zero says standing up out of the bed to put his clothes on.

It figures he thinks about Yuki. I have been screwing his brains out for four weeks, and he thinks of her. Thanks. I say in my own head.

" I am Alexa. I don't know where Yuki is. I think she is probably back in my world in my body. Its the only thing. I can think." I answer. "God Is she ok? So this whole time you been playing me? Playing to be her?" Zero snaps. " I am not playing you. I love you. I never lied about that. My feelings are true. I guess. I have been playing her in a way, but you had to notice the difference. I am nothing like her. I know your smarter than that Zero. I asked you last night if you been happy. And you said yes, that we get along better now than ever. That you liked this new me. You saw it. You felt how much I care. The sex is real, what I do to you is real." I reply.

"I don't know what the fuck is real anymore. I am going to class and I want you out of my bed. I will go to Kaien after class. I have to see how to get Yuki back here." Zero shouts. "Fucking Yuki. Is that all you ever see? Did she ever treat you right? Give to you what I have? NO! All she does is hurt you. Ignore your feelings and run after Kaname. Who she isn't true to either. She played you both if you think about it. ANd let me tell you Your not going to like the future. She only hurts you over and over again. Just your too damn good and you let it go. You don't want me? Thats fine. Just think about yourself. If you want to live in Kaname's shadow for the rest of your life. Because when she comes back, it's back to the way it was. Back to her crying whining ways. Back to her obsessing over Kaname. Where I only see you. The last four weeks, There was only you!."I shout.

Zero doesn't know what to say, he gets dressed and walks out. Where I am left on his bed feeling terrible. Truth? Was it really all its made out to be? Sometimes it only hurts the ones we love. Sometimes it only makes things worse. I take a deep breath, heading to the showers, where I just fall apart. After all that, I still lost to her. I just close my eyes and cry.

After my pity party, I get dried and dressed. Not even heading to class. Why? I wasn't a student. I just walk the grounds and think.

After class Zero goes to see Kaien. He wants to see if anything I said was even true.

Zero bursts through Kaien office, slamming his fists on the wooden desk again.

"Is what she says true?" Zero demands. "Yes. I knew it right away. Zero You had to as well." Kaien says seriously. "Why didn't you tell me. How do get Yuki Back?" Zero asks. "There wasn't much to say. You were happy for once in your life. I let it go. I know she will go back to her world and Yuki will return. You may never see her again. Is that what you want?" Kaien asks. "I am not sure what I want. I am not even sure what the fuck is going on." Zero snaps. "I know. She cared for you so much, she appeared in our world as something you wanted more than anything. She wanted to make you happy. Being Yuki was that."Kaien answers. "So she does care? it's not all a lie?" Zero says. "No, it's not a lie at all. She should have told you sooner, but I see why she hasn't. Do you regret the last few weeks?" Kaien asks. "No, I enjoyed them. She makes me laugh, she takes care of me. She makes me feel like no one before, but I don't know if thats real or not. I thought, she was Yuki." Zero replies. "I guess it doesn't matter either way. She will return to her world. It will be over." Kaien states. "Just like that?" Zero says. "Just like that, the way she entered is the way she will leave," Kaien responds.

Zero doesn't stay long, he runs out the door. Looking for Alexa. He runs all over the grounds searching for her. Finding her sitting on the roof, where they sit every night.

"Is it still you?"Zero asks. "At the moment yea. I am sorry Zero. It got more complicated as it went on. So much for a dream huh?" I say. "Is that what you wanted it to be?" Zero asks. "No, not really. No matter what you think, I really want to be with you. I wrote you a note on the second day. I was here. I thought once I went to sleep, I would wake up in my own bed. I didn't want you to think, that night was a mistake, so I wrote you a note and put it in your desk. Which you still didn't find. So I guess, you don't really look through there much. Huh?" I laugh. "No, I haven't had time. I have been too busy with you. I don't know how I feel. I am so confused." Zero answers. "I understand that. I thank you for at least telling me that." I respond. "So who are you In your own world," Zero asks. " I am a customer service worker for a company, a wife and a mother," I reply. "You have children? A Husband?" Zero snaps.

"Yea. I told you. I thought it was a dream, but even though it isn't. He never made me feel the way you do. The desire, want and love I feel for you. I never felt for anyone. Being here with you changed my life. When I go home, I can't be with someone, I don't feel this way towards." I respond. "You can't give up your life for me. We may never see each other again." Zero answers. "That may be true, but why live a lie? After feeling all this, it's hard to return." I comment. "You miss your kids?" Zero asks. "Yes, of course. I hope they are ok, but if Yuki is with them. I know she will take care of them. She won't hurt them. I know she is good like that. Zero I know this is pre-written out for you. I just want you to think about if you really love her. If she is really good for you? Don't you want to be someones only? Someones first thought? You deserve so much better. You're the kindness sweetness man I ever met."I remark.

"I will think about it. You were willing to stay here and give up your life for me?" Zero asks. "Yes, I know that has to sound crazy. But I am happy here with you. Who wouldn't want to start there life over with someone they loved? Someone they knew would be loyal to them. Protect them? It's really hard to find in real life. It's hard to say goodbye to my family that would be the only part. I would really miss." I reply. "This is all too much." Zero answers. "I bet," I say. "I'm going back to my room. I need time to think." Zero remarks. "If I'm not here in the morning. I want you to know I love you, and I always will." I say.

Tears streaming down my face. Doing my best to keep myself together. When all I want to do is run in his arms. I just know he needs time. Which we don't have, I just don't push.

He just looks at me, not sure what to do. His own emotions playing with him. He knows if he walks away, it may be the last time he sees me. He just isn't good with words or feelings. He nods and walks away going to his room. Not willing to let himself believe, that he could love someone other than Yuki.

He sits in bed just thinking about the last four weeks. How happy he has been. How Kaname hasn't been a problem. How the person he has been with makes him feel alive. He also thinks about Yuki, how she is doing? Where is she? Is she scared? His emotions are over the top.

I go back to my dorm room, where I haven't spent much time at all. It feels weird being here. I miss him so much already, and its only been minutes. I feel terrible inside. I want to hold him, be with him. I just no better than to go to his dorm. He needs time. He may not really care for me after all. I thought I could make him happy. Make him see he was worth so much more. I guess, I didn't do anything at all, but hurt him more.

I get in my bed, wrapping myself up into a ball. Hurting more than any other time in my life. I try to get sleep but I can't. I get up and write a how I am feeling.

Zero,

I just wanted to say. How sorry I really am. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to make you happy. I wanted you to feel love. To see how it is to be someone's everything and only. I hope you can forgive me. I never thought it would get this far. I wish it was Me, Not Yuki. Not in her body. So you could see me for who I am, and just how much I truly love you. I will never forget you. I don't think. I could ever be with anyone else. I just hope that you choose to be with someone who shows you love. Who can give you everything you need and more. I hope your life is happy.

I love you, always and forever

ALexa.

I lay the note on my bedside table. Trying to get some sleep. Falling asleep with tears falling down my face.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I feel myself drift off to sleep. Pain in my heart, I feel overwhelmed with feelings. I am not sure anything can fix this. I am just sorry if I hurt him. It wasn't what I wanted.

The alarm beeps loudly on the side of the bed. It keeps going off. I don't have the strength to open my eyes or even hit the snooze button. I feel lifeless laying there. My eyes still wet from tears. The alarm just gets louder and louder and more annoying. Till I have to open my eyes. When I do, I almost lose it.

"No, No. Please No. Not like this." I hit the snooze button and put my head back under the covers. Sobbing hard.

"ALexa, its time to get up for work. Hurry up you're going to be late." I hear my husband say. I'm back in my own body. In my own world. It takes everything. I have to drag myself to the bathroom to get ready for work. My eyes are all puffy, and red. I don't think. I have ever felt like this before or at least in a very long time. I know I have to clean myself up and act like nothing is wrong. I wash my face and get dressed. Pushing myself along. I head downstairs seeing my girls and my husband getting ready for the day. Nothing has changed. Everything just went back to the way it was. I am happy to see my children. I kiss them both as I get their lunch ready for school. Both of them leaving with there father so he could drop them off. It was back to my regular life.

It's now my turn, to go to work and face the day. All I can think about is Zero. I hope he is ok. I hope he doesn't truly hate me. Then I think, he should be happy now, he has his Yuki back. I am probably the last thing on his mind.

Back at Cross, Zero has been up all night thinking, not sure what to think about all this. His feelings all over the place. He gets up and dressed and figures to stop by the girl's dorm, to see how Alexa is doing.

When he gets to the dorm, Alexa isn't there just the note laying on her bed, Addressed to him. He reads it, and it only makes him feel worse. He goes to class where Yagari tells him to go straight to the headmaster's office. Which he does.

"What do you want from me now old man?" Zero huffs. "I just wanted to let you know that Yuki is back as herself. She went to see Kaname. I thought you should know." Kaien replies. "No, Alex is gone?" Zero asks. "Yes, Sorry she is gone. The bond between you both weaken and it sent her back home. Things are back to normal now." Kaien admits.

Zero doesn't say much, he just walks out of the room. Feeling he let her go without saying goodbye. Letting her think he hated her. Never telling her, How she made him feel. All the happiness she brought him. It Makes him sick to his stomach.

He goes to see Yuki, hoping that she is ok. When he gets to the moon dorm, he sees her sitting on the sofa talking away to Kaname. How things never changed, she runs to him. When she sees Zero she runs to him as well giving him a big hug. Telling him all about her adventures. How she missed him and Kaname. Things going right back to where they were before she left. Zero just being in between the middle, he sees her drooling over Kaname again.

Zero just walks out going back to his own dorm room. In one way, he was happy to see her, in another he wasn't. He sits there and just wonders what Alexa is feeling right now. Sad, and hurt about everything he did. Wishing he would have told her how he felt. Instead of asking and thinking about Yuki, when she was trying to tell him how she felt about him. Just knowing its now too late.

Weeks go by, I am doing my best to get back into the swing of things. Still not myself at all. Being with my family doesn't seem to really bring me any happiness lately. I feel lost and like half myself is missing. Yet I keep it all to myself. Doing my best not to let on. Wondering to myself, if I can stay like this. There wasn't anything really wrong with my family, my kids were great my husband was a good man. It was a regular normal relationship. Just now after experiencing the heat I had with Zero, I am not sure. I could live like this anymore. Zero brought me things no one ever has. Made me feel alive in every single way.

Then I just think, that didn't go so well either, he never would care for me as myself. He only cared because I was her. Which tore me up inside. I gathered my Zero pictures and little fan items and put them away. Feeling they weren't good to hold on to them either. I would never have him. It wasn't meant to be. Even in my dream, it failed. The past few weeks, I feel as if my heart has been ripped from my chest. I always feel sick to my stomach, I can't even eat. Where I am sure he is happy being back with his Yuki.

The weeks that go by for Zero is no better than they were for Alexa. Regrets fill his mind, even more so when he watches Yuki throw herself at Kaname. Him asking her to be his lover. Zero almost gagged. All the things that happened in the Anime were not happening, it was following the same path his story was meant to go. Yuki was more and more strange. Staying away from him, going through her own things. The time Zero did spend with her, he saw that it wasn't the same. He did prefer spending time with Alexa. The time she spent with him, she made him like, the only thing that existed. He missed that. He also saw that Yuki would never be able to do that for him. It just wasn't Yuki. Time keeps going on, and Zero's fight with Rido takes place, The night that Yuki turns into her pureblood self. Zero more disgusted with everything than ever. He sees that she is leaving with Kaname, It doesn't surprise him. The words Alexa spoke rang true. You won't like what is to come. He sure didn't. The only thing that was different, he didn't let Yuki drink from him, nor did he kiss her. He let her go freely. Not feeling the way he once did. If she wanted Kaname, Let her have him.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

As the weeks go by, my stomach doesn't get any better. I know something is wrong, but I am not sure quite what it is. I go to the doctor on my day off. Sitting in the waiting room, time ticking away. I feel so lost, so empty. I use to be so alive and so much fun. I can't let this get me down. I know, I have to move on. It's just so hard at the moment. While I am sitting there daydreaming, the nurse calls me into the room.

"The doctor will be right with you." The nurse says "I take a seat. Thinking this is probably just from my nerves. All the stress, I been putting myself under lately. And for what?" I say to myself. Then the doctor comes in.

"Alexa, How have you been feeling? What seems to be the problem?" The doctor asks. "Well, my stomach is always upset. I can't really eat. I am always queasy. I think its just my nerves. I have been under some stress lately. So is there anything, I can take to make myself feel better?" I ask. "Let me check your tests. Well from what I see, I now know why you're feeling this way."The doctor answers. "Why? Do I have an ulcer? Damn. Thats just what I need." I say. "Heh, no. You're pregnant." The doctor reveals. "What? That can't be." I say. "It is. The test we ran is positive. If you like, we can see how far along you are? We have an OBGYN on hand." The doctor says. "Sure. I still think you made a mistake." I answer. "We will see. She will check you and give you an ultrasound." The doctor replies. Giving me the referral.

I go next door to the OBG. Still, in major shock, This can't be, is all I keep telling myself. The OBG takes me. I go into the room, take all my clothes off putting this gown on. I lay on the table not sure what to think at this point. I just try to stay calm. Till after she tells me what is really going on.

The OBG comes in and ready to do her thing.

"Ok, let's see here." She says taking a seat at the end of my feet. "Yep, There is a little tyke in here for sure. Everything looks wonderful. I will give you an ultrasound to see how far you are along since your not sure." The OBG says. I just lay there in shock.

"She lays a towel over my legs and lifts up the gown to show my stomach, which she puts some cold gel on. This wasn't anything new. I had two other children. I just lay there letting her do whatever. Still not thinking straight. She starts the ultrasound, where I see this beautiful baby. I just start to cry.

"From what I am seeing, your about three months. The baby looks wonderful, healthy everything is good. Do you want to know what it is?" She asks. "Yes Please," I say. "Its a boy." She responds. My heart leaps out of my chest. A boy? tears keep streaming down my face.

"I think everything should be ok. Your a little older with this one, but everything should be fine. Just keep your appointments so we can watch." She tells me. I just nod. Walking out of her office with my Ultrasound pictures. I sit in the car, just staring at them. Could this be? Where all of a sudden, I start laughing to myself. Well, that just shows you, kids, even in a dream or anime, if you don't use protection. You get knocked up. I am carrying his baby. I have part of him with me. I just rub my tummy happier then, I have been in a while.

I knew I was in big trouble though. There wasn't any explaining this. I haven't had sex with my husband in years. He would know it wasn't his. I didn't really want to blame him for it anyway. This was my baby. The son I always wanted, and best yet, with the man I always wanted. I did get something out of this. I knew I would have to do, what I told Zero. I would have to leave my husband. This just showed me that had to be. I wasn't going to explain to him, about all the things that took place, he would think, I was crazy and try to take my kids from me. I would just ask him to leave. Not even telling him about the child. ITs not his? Why bother?

I go home and make dinner. Getting my girls ready for bed. Then I head to my own room. Where my husband looks at me funny and knows something is wrong.

"What is going on? I know you haven't been yourself in a while. What is happening?" Joel asks. "A lot within myself. I don't want to be married anymore. I want my freedom back. I want a divorce." I say. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you want to give up our life? Are you cheating on me?" Joel snaps. "I did have an affair. It is over now. It just made me see that what we have, is something I don't want. I want more out of a relationship. I don't know if I could ever find what I am looking for, but I don't want to settle for this." I answer. "You had an affair? What the fuck? With who?" He shouts. "No one you know. It doesn't matter." I answer. "If it's over maybe we could work on our marriage. You just need to tell me what you want." Joel states. "If I have to tell you, that means you don't know me at all. I am sorry, but I think its best you leave. You can see the girls anytime you want. I just want out." I say and walk out of the bedroom.

I feel free. I know that had to hurt him, but I also can't expect him to raise someone else's child. That would hurt him more. This way he can move on and maybe get a life he is happy with as well. He would only look at this child and hate it, see me cheating. Never really knowing just how much I truly loved its father. That would kill him.

The next morning Joel gets up and I see him take his duffle bag with him. He just looks at me as he gathers the kids. I know he is hurt. I see it written all over his face. I know that look well, I felt the same when Zero was asking about Yuki, after being with me.

At Cross, Zero goes to Kaien's office. Needing more answers than he was given. The last two month being torture for him.

"I need to talk to you old man," Zero says. "What do you need?" Kaien answers. "If Alexa came here, would I be able to go to her world?" Zero asks. "Maybe, but why?" Kaien asks. "Becuase, all I do is think about her. What does she look like? Is she ok? I know how I acted hurt her. I see everything she told me was true. I want to if anything tell her, I am sorry. How I really feel." Zero responds. "How about if you get stuck in her world? Then what? This could be dangerous."Kaien answers. "She took that risk to be with me. Leaving her children and family. I have nothing here. Its a chance worth taking." Zero comments. "If she is married and her husband finds you, he may beat the hell out of you." Kaien states. "We are adults, I want to talk to her. He can't beat me for that." Zero remarks.

"You don't even know, what her world is or about? You may not like it. You know, the way she turned into what you wanted to be here with you. You will turn into what she wants there." Kaien states. "Yea, I know she didn't come here as herself, because my main wish was for Yuki. So she showed up as her. I know her main wish is me. So whatever else she has planned is fine. I finally know, she wouldn't hurt me." Zero replies. "If you are sure, There needs to be a connection, when you go to bed. You think about her strongly as you fall asleep. Letting it take you to her world. Just like she did to you." Kaien says. "I can do that," Zero responds. "What about Yuki?" Kaien asks. "What about her? She didn't think of me when she left with Kaname. She hasn't come anywhere near us. I want more than that. I want to be someone's only. I just hope she still sees me like that." Zero comments.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Zero lays in bed, just thinking about going to a new world. What would it be like? Would he like it? Anything had to be better than where he was. He hated it here. He hated being a vampire, he hated having no family. What did he really have here? He was just scared if he went to Alexa, she wouldn't want him anymore. First, because of the way, he acted and second because she had a real family. Would she leave them for him? Pick him over her real husband? So many things ran through his head. He felt even more confused.

I lay in my quiet bed, my girls at their father's new apartment. The house was silent and empty. Something it hasn't been ever. I know this is the right thing to do. As I lay there rubbing my tummy. Talking to my unborn son. Goodness, I wonder what you will look like. Your daddy is gorgeous, just in our world, I don't think white hair as a baby would work out well. I don't want rude people to make fun or hurt you. If you have it we will work it out. It's nothing terrible. I love it, I just don't want to see you hurt. People in this world can be downright ugly with the hurtful things they say. I will just have to teach you, not to pay mind. I do hope you have his eyes. They are gorgeous. I wish, he would know. Then would he even care? It's not Yuki having his child it's me. Whatever. Their story is already written out. Hang in there Zero. I lay there and think about him, as I doze off to sleep. Holding my tiny belly. Happy as can be.

Zero also lays there in his bed thinking of Alexa falling in a deep sleep. Drifting far away.

Zero walks up, to a blaring alarm. Not remembering setting it this loud. Just knowing, he needs it to shut up. It's killing him. He gets up, looking around, seeing he isn't at Cross anymore. Everything is so different. He looks at his arms and hands, the covers, the room. He isn't in his own world anymore. He looks on the side of him, to this pretty little lady laying next to him. She has brown hair with blonde highlights, and she is petite in build from what he can tell. He knows its Alexa, he just stares at her taking in her beauty. Also, everything is so much more alive here. It's just different. He sees her stir around to take off the alarm.

"So glad you took that off, it was killing me," Zero says.

I just look over, knowing that voice could only belong to him. Could it be? I just stare at him, My heart pounding out of my chest. Omg, he is in my world. He looks even better here than at Cross. He looks more mature here, not like a seventeen-year-old. More like a man.

"Zero, Your here?" I say. Leaping over to his side of the bed and wrapping my arms around him. "Yes, it's me. I wasn't sure. I was going to get this reaction, but I will take it."He says. Hugging me back. "What are you doing here? Are you ok?" I ask. "I am fine. I just couldn't stop thinking about you. I needed to see you. The real you. Your very pretty I might add." Zero answers. "Thank you. I never thought. I would see you again. I thought you hated me." I reply. "I thought you would think that. I know I didn't behave well before you left. I regretted it badly. I thought about everything you said to me. You were right. I did deserve better. She came home and went straight to him. I am sorry. I acted that way. I needed time to think." Zero comments. "No problem. I understand. I missed you so much. You're all I thought about." I answer. " Did you really leave your husband or should I bolt out of this bed?" Zero asks. "Your safe, he is gone. I told him to leave. I had no choice. I found out something that is going to change my life. Something I can't let him ruin." I explain. "What did you find out?" Zero asks. "I don't know how to tell you this. Zero I'm pregnant." I respond.

"Oh, Congrats I guess. Shouldn't you and your husband be happy?" Zero asks. Not thinking like usual. "No, I think my husband would hate me for this. Not really like the child either." I state. "Why not. What kind of man is he not to want his child." Zero snaps. "It's not his Zero. It's yours! I'm three months pregnant. The only man, I have slept with is you. I haven't been with my husband for years." I explain. "Mine? My Baby? Ours?" Zero says. "Yes, Yours. You left me with something special." I answer. "I wasn't expecting that one." He chuckles. "You're not the only one. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise, I couldn't keep my hands off of you." I reply. "Do you still feel that way about me? Still, want me the same?" Zero asks. "More than you could imagine. God, you are even more gorgeous in this world. Oh god, I hope you're not seventeen here." I state. "Why? And Kaien said I would be whatever you wanted. Like You were for me." Zero responds.

"OH, thats good, I just want you to be honest. Hm, Do you have an ID on you? Let me check your pockets." I say playfully. Feeling him up while I check. I feel his well toned chest, even more, toned here than in his own world. The details of his body enhanced. It just makes me want him even more. His silver hair just makes him look mature, bringing out his eyes more. He is a bit pale but we can work on that. I just say to myself.

"Oh, I found a wallet and keys. Let us see. Here is an ID:

Name: Zero Kiryu

Hair: Silver

Eyes: Lavender

Height: 5"11

Age:38

YES!" I scream. Kissing him all over his face. "Why does that matter?" Zero laughs. "Because if you were too young, I would be way too old for you. If you were seventeen, I could go to jail for just looking at you. This way you're perfect in age. No wonder your more mature looking. Still very Sexy I may add, maybe even more." I say. "If you say so." Zero chuckles. "Wait, There is an address on here, It's not far from here. You have a house. That means you may have a job too. It fit you in this world like you were from it. Just like I just fit in as Yuki." I reply. "I guess thats good. I wonder what I do. Will I still be a vampire hunter?" Zero asks. "Umm, Zero. I am not sure if you noticed yet, but you are no longer a vampire, they don't exist here. So no your not a hunter." I say still going through his wallet. "I'm human?" Zero asks. "Yes," I answer. "Zero, your a detective!" I add. "I am human. I am no longer a beast? I am myself? "Zero Says still stuck on that. "Yes, my love you are human. I knew that would make you happy. No more vampire. No more cute fangs though. But also no more suffering. No more level E. None of that." I answer.

Zero just sits there taking everything in. Its been one thing hitting him after another. And they are all good things. Normally is all bad stuff hitting him. He wasn't used to this. A woman that loved only him? A child? Being Human? A regular job and life? Could all this really be his? After everything he has been through could he really get his happy ending?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Zero just sits in bed, not sure this is real or not. He is scared to be happy, that it may all disappear as fast as it all appeared.

I lay close to him, holding him tight. Not able to believe, he is here with me. I never thought. I would ever see him again. Now he was laying in my bed right next to me. I want to make him happy, give to him everything that his creator took from him. I want to make him the way he should be. At the same time, I want to keep him, him. I see the sarcastic man is still there, just still in shock over things. He wasn't rude or mean to me. It was nice. He may turn back into the sweet, calm boy he once was. Without all the anger that built up inside him. There shouldn't be any resentment now. Or hatred towards vampires, Since he was no longer one, and they didn't exist here.

I just look up at him, still in shock. Since we are now in the real world, his features are so much more. The details he has are beyond words. He was gorgeous in his own world, but since it was just an anime world details were not the best. Now being real his true self shines through. I know that also being in the real world, it's going to bring real problems. Things are not going to be pre-written. There will be regular life problems we will go through. I just hope we can deal with them and make it. Not wind up to dislike each other at the end of this. We had a long road ahead of us.

"Zero, would you like to go check out your house? See where you live? I am a bit curious, to be honest. Plus I want you to see what outside looks like. I want you to see everything." I say. "Sure, I still can't believe all this. I am trying to take it in. I can't believe, how I just fit into this world like I was always here. Like it was meant. It's so surreal." Zero states. "I know. It was weird being Yuki when I was in your world. A little fun though, I have to admit. I knew you cared so much for her. You would let me do anything. Being myself now, I'm a bit unsure." I admit.

"I want you to feel, comfortable with me. That you could do anything with me. I want to get to know you, like you. At Cross, we would sit and talk for hours. I enjoyed that. I hope we can do that here as well." Zero says. "Me too. That was me. Our conversations were real. It's just to be honest when it came to making love, I just felt more confident since I was her. I'm really not that forward in my own world." I confess. "Do you still feel the same for me?" Zero asks. "Yes, God yes." I say "Then we shouldn't have any problem. It will take us both a bit to get used to this. I feel different in this body. I don't know how to explain it." Zero comments. "You're a real human now. Not an anime. Not drawn in a story. You have everything a real man has." I state.

"Oh god, everything a real man has. My mind wonders and I get flustered just thinking about that. His naked body must be incredible. " I think to myself. My cheeks start to redden.

"Are you ok?" Zero asks. "Yes, I think we should get dressed and go check out your house. Actually, I should get dressed. You're already in the white shirt and black pants. Damn you don't ever button that shirt do you?" I say. "No why? I hate that freaken tie." Zero replies. "Cause you look hot. I'm going to have to chase all the other women away, aren't I?" I respond a little worried. "You don't have to worry about any other woman. I am here for you, and now our child. I still can't believe that." Zero answers. "I couldn't either. I didn't think you could get pregnant being in a dream. Or whatever that was. I guess, that just shows you to always wear protection. " I laugh. "Do you regret it?"Zero asks. "No, not at all. I want this child very much. It's extra special to me. For many reasons. I do know what it is. Do you want to know?" I ask. "Yes Please. What is it?" Zero replies. "We are having a boy, "I state as I show him the ultrasound photos. "This is our son," I add. "Wow, this is so cool. Am I going to fit in here? I mean I don't know anything about this world. Am I going to be able to be a good father?" Zero ponders. "You will be fine. I will show you everything you need to know. The rest you will pick up just living here. Like the rest of us. Stop worrying." I say. Hoping what I just said is true.

I get up and get dressed. While Zero just sits on the bed and watches Tv. Getting acquainted with our world. I see his lavender eyes widen with each commercial break. Just watching how things work. Lost in the Awe. It was like watching a child see things for the first time. It brought a smile to my face.

"Are you ready?"I ask. "Yes. I think I like TV here. There is a lot of things, I would like to try. Is that ok?" Zero asks. "Of course. What did you see you would like?" I reply. "Some food items. I want to taste everything. I love to cook. So I want to do that here as well."He responds. "That sounds good because I hate to cook. Anything you want, we will get. It will be fun watching you taste things for the first time." I reply. "Ok, I have my keys and wallet. There are a few keys on this. So, I am guessing one may be a car? How do we find it though?" Zero asks. "Let me, I say and I click the button and the car beeps." There it is." I answer.

"Is all this because its what you want me to have and be?" Zero asks. "I think so. What I wanted for you here is to have a normal real life. And most of all to be happy. I want to give you things you never had in the other world. I want to bring a smile to your face, not just once in a while but all the time." I comment.

"So far you're doing a good job. I feel free being here. Not the weight of being a vampire on my shoulders. Needing blood, and those damn blood tablets had to go! Always dependent on her, where I didn't want to be. Not to mention, everyone at the association always looking at me. I'm the level E. Its not like I asked for it." Zero remarks. "You don't have to worry about any of that now. It's all in the past. I just hope you don't regret this or miss things." I answer. "What's there to miss? I do still care for Yuki. I always will. I can't help that. But the rest I can let go of without looking back." Zero admits. "And what about her? Can you let go of her?" I ask. With panic in my voice. "I am here aren't I?" Zero says.

While driving to his house which isn't far from mine, I just wonder if he will think of her and miss her. That no matter what I am doing for him, he will still ache for her. The thought hurts me deeply. I just need for now to let it go, to enjoy what I have in front of me. While I do.

We get to his street, looking for the house that is on his ID. We come to it, seeing a regular rowhouse, two stories high and we park in front of it.

"I guess this is it," Zero says. "I guess so, "I answer.

We both get out of the car and go up to his stairs, Zero using the key to open the door. Letting me walk in first, him right behind me.

We walk into a living room. medium brown walls with white crown molding, dark brown sofa with multi-colored throw pillows. Hardwood flooring with an area rug in front of the sofa, that matches the pillows. The bay window with a blinds and a light cream curtain, wooden coffee table and big screen tv on the wall. Next to that room is a small dining room with a square table and four chairs. Then the kitchen.

"This place is great so far. Wow, this is where I get to live? I love it." Zero says checking things out. When all of a sudden his phone rings."Ok, where is that coming from? "Zero asks. I try to help him find it. Finding the phone on the kitchen island. I hand it to him.

"Hey Bro, are you coming over today?" Ichiru asks. Zero just says silent, not sure he is hearing what he just did. "Bro are you there? Your playing with the damn girl of yours aren't you? Take her with you then. Mom and dad want to meet her anyway. Mom isn't happy that she is married though. So beware from now. You're in for it." Ichiru laughs. "Mom and dad?" Zero says. "Yea, what the hell is wrong with you?" Ichiru asks. "Nothing. We will be over." Zero says. Still in shock. "Then hurry, you only live down the street. IT shouldn't take you no time. Damn your off your game today."Ichiru states. "Yea yea. See ya in a few." Zero responds. Hanging up the phone.

"Zero are you ok?" I ask. "I don't know. That was Ichiru, and My Mom and dad want us to go over. They are alive? They are ok? They are here?" Zero says. Walking up to me and giving me a hug. "I wished for you to having everything you didn't before remember?" I say. "I don't know what to say to you. I don't know if I can be around them, without them noticing something is wrong. There alive." Zero responds. "You will be fine. Enjoy it. They are here for you." I answer. "Ichiru says my mom isn't too happy about you being married. So please whatever they say, don't let it bother you." Zero states. "She is a mom, of course, she doesn't like things. She is worried about her son. I understand that." I answer

I don't show him, but deep down. I now see that the regular everyday things are coming to get us. A mother in law. I already had one so I know how it goes. Just this time, I would bite my tongue to give Zero everything he needs. Just for how long would that last? This should be fun.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"He said they live down the street? How convenient." Zero says. "Yea very huh?"I say. "Are you ready for this?" Zero asks. "Yes, It should be fine are you? " I say. "I will be right next to you. I can't wait to see them. Its been so long." Zero replies.

We walk out the door hand and hand. This tall lean man next to me. Just that alone makes me happy. It doesn't seem to take my fright away though. I am not sure, how his parents are going to react to me. I guess I'm not the greatest catch for a single man without any kids. Oh wait, I'm carrying his kid. That brings a smirk to my face. It gives me something to smile about, while I walk to their home.

Zero takes a deep breathe before he opens the front door. His emotions all over the place. His heart beating a mile a minute. It's been years since he saw them. Never ever expecting this, that he would be able to see them again. Talk to them, touch them. It was a dream for him.

We walk into his house, his mother and father in the kitchen, making dinner and Ichiru sitting at the Kitchen Island. Zero just stares at them. His legs are frozen in place.

"It's ok," I say holding his hand. I walk him to the kitchen. I see him just staring at his mother. His eyes starting to water. It makes me have to hold back tears. Seeing his emotions. Whatever this woman says to me tonight, I will ignore. I will not take his happiness away. This is for him, not me. I can stand back. I want him happy and these people do that.

"Zero its great to see you. I am glad you took your lady friend with you. I am dying to meet her." Mrs. Kiryu says. "Damn boy, she is tiny." Mr. Kiryu says. Staring me up and down. "Yea, Ichiru called and said you wanted us to come over. I want you all to meet Alexa." Zero says. Going over to his mother and giving her a big hug. Then to his dad.

His mother has blond hair and is very pretty. She also has pale skin. His father has the silver hair. I see where he gets his looks from. It's amazing to see them. The people that created the man, I adore.

"It's nice to meet you, Alexa. I heard my son is very taken in with you. How does your husband feel about this?" Mrs. Kiryu. Wow, she doesn't way words, does she? I say to myself. "Mom, Really. That wasn't nice." Zero says. "I am just speaking the truth. Your no better young man. Taking a wife away from her husband." Mrs. Kiryu says. "Me and my husband are separated. We are filing for divorce. He is no longer in my life. So whatever I do is my own business. Our marriage was long over before I met your son." I answer. Feeling like I'm on trail.

"So where do you see this going? Is it just a fling?" Mr. Kiryu asks. "Dad!" Zero shouts. "Well? Is this just play or real son?" Mr. Kiryu replies. "Real. God, I forgot what it's like to have parents." Zero answers. "What about for you Alexa? Mrs. Kiryu asks. "Real. I love your son with all my heart." I reply. "I hope so. I heard you have children. How is this going to affect them? Have they met my son yet?" Mrs. Kiryu asks. "I am sure they will be fine. It will take some adjusting, but I am sure, we can work things out. I was thinking Zero should come over on Sunday and meet them. I have nothing to hide." I respond. "This relationship is serious. I want you all to know that. Me and Alexa are going to have a child together. I plan on marrying her once her divorce is final." Zero answers. I just look at him, in shock

. At the same time, so happy I can't stand. My legs wobble from under me. I take a seat on the other chair. Next to Ichiru, who when I look at is also amazing. Good God there are two Zero's. I shake my head. Going back to what Zero said.

"Wait what? Zero, are you sure about all this? Don't you think you two are rushing things?" Mr. Kiryu asks. "Dad, I'm not a baby. I'm 38. I love her. I want to be with her." Zero says. "I hope your both sure about this." Mrs. Kiryu says. "We are," I respond. "Well, Then let's have some dinner and welcome you into the family. I am going to be a grandma. Aww, my boy." Mrs. Kiryu says going over to hug Zero. Who hugs her tight. So glad she is here no matter what a pain she is. He wouldn't want it any other way.

We all sit down to dinner, they talk about work. Where we find out, Mr. Kiryu owns the detective agency that Zero works for. It's a family affair. It seems since they are not hunters together, they are detectives. Which was cool in a way. I just watch as Zero interacts with them. How happy he is. It's great to see. I also see that his parents were something else. But we got through round one. I see Zero just stare at them at times. Seeing he is still amazed by all this, Then wouldn't anyone be? The whole thing was surreal. I catch him looking at Ichiru the most. He has his twin back, I just hope they can be close like they were when they were small.

I also think about what he said. He wants to marry me. Those were the only words I ever wanted to hear. I can get through this. I just thought if meeting his mother was like this. Meeting my younger daughter wasn't going to be any better. For some reason, she couldn't stand him or the anime. I think it because I like him so much. She never saw me give a man that much attention before. Not even her father. Both my kids would have a lot of questions when they would meet him. They knew who he was. Sunday dinner should be interesting, to say the least.

After dinner at the Kiryu's, we walk back down to Zero's home. Zero on cloud nine, from being with his family again.

"Is it ok if we stay here tonight?" Zero asks. "Sure. That would be fine." I answer. "I am sorry about my parents. I forgot what having them meant. Its been so long." Zero says. "Thats ok. They just wanted to know where we are headed. I was happy with your response." I comment. "You're carrying my child. I want to be with you and him. I want to do right by you both. Just as long as you still want me?" Zero says. "I will always want you," I reply. "Good, Let's get some sleep. Its been a really long day. I want a hot shower and a warm bed." Zero responds. "That sounds good. I don't have any clothes here though." I reply. "Don't worry. Take one of my shirts." Zero says.

I just smile. Loving being like this with him. As much of a turn on he is. I am scared to make the first move. Or any move. I wasn't really like that in real life. I was scared of disappointing him, but just being near him, made my body crazy. He still turned me on more than anyone. I just wonder if he will make me feel the same in bed. In real life, you could care a lot for a person. That doesn't mean there are sparkes in bed. I just didn't want it to suck. I know it's not what builds a relationship. But what we had at Cross was amazing. I wanted more of that. Even if it would fade in time, it was nice to have at least for now.

He comes out of the bathroom in his bath towel wrapped around his waist and one drying his hair. I just stare. That chest, how I want to touch it. I want to touch all of him. Instead, I just smile at him and go into the bathroom to take my shower.

Zero notices that she doesn't touch him as she did at Cross. That she isn't coming on to him. He feels she is just shy in real life. It makes him smile. He wants to see what happens when they are in bed together. He feels the sparks from now and wants more. He got use to their sexual nature with each other. Even though it was in Yuki's body. Which he still thinks of her from time to time. He couldn't help himself. Just so far in this world, he had so much more.

I come out of the bathroom, wearing Zeros blue pullover that is pretty big for me. I am only 5 ft and he is 5"11. I feel warm and safe in his shirt. It makes me calm. I just see him watching tv laying in bed. I crawl in next to him. I want to move closer to him, but I can't seem to make the first move. I see his hand laying there so I go for it. I place mine in his, and smile at him.

"You can come closer to me you know," Zero says. "I would like that. I just didn't want to bother you while watching tv." I say. "You're not bothering me." Zero answers. Taking the tv off.

We both scoot down into the bed. Facing each other. I Place my hand on his face, just looking into his eyes. His hand reaches out and pulls my body close to his. I give out a gasp as I feel his hands wrap around my waist. My heart starts beating faster just from being this close to him. My hands wrap around him, as he pulls me into a kiss. I moan, into his mouth. As his kisses get deeper. The kisses get more passionate as we go. Our bodies now intertwined in each other.

Zero's hands roaming my body. It just makes me pant and breath heavy wanting more. My hands roam his hair as I press his mouth deeper onto mine. His kisses alone set me on fire. I want to do so many things to him, yet I'm frozen by his touch. He is in full control of me. My body is his. His touches are light and gentle, touching my thigh and putting it over his. So my body is closer to his. He rubs his manhood onto my core. Moving my panties to the side then, Pushing himself inside slowly and gently. Making my body come undone. We are wrapped in each other's arms. As our bodies become one. His hand gently rubbing my stomach, as he takes me.

"Zero. " I moan as he slides in and out of me. My fingers leaving grab marks on his back. The feeling of him inside me driving me crazy. He keeps going in and out harder and faster, yet not breaking the hold our arms have on each other. He gets me to the point, where my body can't stay still. I thrust myself into him, as he does me. Moving my hips harder and faster into him. The feeling building up inside of me. I moan into his kisses and squeeze his back. He keeps going faster till I feel myself clench around him and let go.

"Zero I'm going to..." I say. "Me too." He answers as we climax together. The feeling the most intense I ever felt. We just lay there not moving. Still wrapped in each other. Him still inside me. I hold him close Never wanting to let him go. I kiss his lips tenderly as I snuggle up more and fall asleep in his embrace.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

In the middle of the night, Zero wakes up, as tired as he is, he can't sleep. All the thoughts running through his mind. It feels like a dream. He doesn't want to wake up from. He had his parents and his brother. It was wonderful seeing them again. To be able to share his adult life with them. To let them see his child be born. The feelings, he felt were overwhelming, to say the least. He looks at the sleeping woman laying in his arms, he can't help himself but smile. Something he caught himself do a lot today. More than in his whole other life. He didn't feel angry anymore. It was even hard for him to keep his emotions hidden at times. He was starting to feel like he did when he was a child. It was unbelieve to him.

He slides out from the hold of Alexa, covering her up and tucking her in. Knowing that he owes all this to her. Did she love him that much to make all this happen? He was in the real world, yet he knew nothing about it. He gets up going to the bathroom, then downstairs to get something to eat. Taking a better look at his new home. He sees on his way back up the stairs, there is another bedroom, but its an office with a computer. So he sits down to check out, what the internet has. He goes to reads the news of the day, seeing a lot of bad people were here as well. Even though they were not Vampires, he would have to watch over people. Seeing his job didn't differ too much. He also sees in the corner of the room his work clothes and his gun. Which wasn't the bloody rose but still a gun. Not much in that has changed, still the black dress pants, white shirt, vest, and gun holder. He chuckles at his findings. Saying at least something stayed the same. As he goes back to search the internet.

As he is innocently looking around, sex sites show up in the corner of the web page. Zero a little intrigued as to what this is. He wasn't very, experienced in sex at all. Only sleeping with one woman.

In the past at Cross, Alexa would be the one doing everything to him. He just enjoyed it and she let him. He did notice here, that she was a bit shy. Holding back, so he took the initiative the last time. He figures maybe he could learn a few things, and clicks on the links. Some things he sees appalls him, even baffles him. Then others he sees turns him on and he wants to try. Never really knowing you could do all this with a person before. He does his best to stay away from the wacky weird stuff and tries to see just how to pleasure a woman. Wanting to give back to Alexa what she did to him. Now seeing how some things are done. Which excite him. He feels himself rise to the occasion. Which makes him feel a bit shy himself. Yet, he feels he is going to see if she is willing to play. He knew at Cross, she never said no to him. She was one to touch, and want to be close. So he figures, he would try it here. Maybe it would make her feel more comfortable with him. Seeing that earlier, he made her crazy, just like he did at Cross. Which made him feel good.

He takes the computer off, heading back to his bedroom. Seeing Alexa laying peacefully in bed sleeping. Instead of getting on his own side, he snuggles in, on her side, pushing himself up against her back.

I just moan as I feel his chest on my back. His hands go around my waist. I just push myself closer to him. The feelings that go through me, are incredible. The way he can make me feel, I never thought possible. I just keep my eyes closed enjoying the feel of his body up against mine.

Zero sees that she likes him being this close, he lightly kisses her neck and nibbles on her ear lobe. Knowing this is something, she likes a lot. His hands climb up the shirt she is wearing, gently rubbing and squeezing her breasts. She just moans pushing herself up against him. Which makes him harder. He slides down, pushing the shirt up as he kisses and licks her tail bone up her back, making tingles run through her. His hands roaming her body, making there way to her panties which he now just slides off and throws to the side. He slides a finger inside her, feeling her moisture that is growing from each of his touches. This makes him smirk to himself, knowing she desires him.

He slides himself back up. Kissing her neck again as he slides his manhood in between her legs. Letting it slide between her lips, making her want him even more. He lightly moves her leg putting it over his thigh, so he has more access to her. He pushes her body against his, where he slides inside of her, making her scream out his name. He gently slides in and out of her, and he slides his hand around her, letting his fingers rub her nub, as he saw on the internet. He keeps rubbing it as he slides in and out of her harder and faster. He sees her body react as soon as he touches her. Her moans and pants deepen, and her body starts pushing up against his harder. He knows he found the right spot and keeps it going. As she bucks into him, He feels himself almost there as she lets go, screaming out his name. That just sends him over the edge and he lets go. Letting his seed fill her. Happy she is already pregnant, cause if she wasn't. She would be from tonight.

They both pant and stay close. Trying to calm themselves down.

"Zero, where did you learn that?" I ask. "Did you like it?" Zero replies. "God, yes," I answer. "Good, I learned it from the internet." Zero states. "You bad little boy, "I say with a smirk. "I learned a few other tricks too. Next time you're in for it." He chuckles. "I don't know if I can handle anymore. You make me completely crazy now." I answer. "Good, it's the way I want to make you. I also want you to know you don't have to be shy with me. You can come to me when you want it. Like you did before. I kind of got used to it." Zero admits. "I will just give me time," I answer. Snuggling up to his chest.

I have to admit. I like this new Zero. I didn't have to go after him, he was always coming to me. It felt good. Just also as a human and pregnant, I am more tired. Where he still seems to have his seventeen-year-old sex drive. I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong. I just hope, I can be all he needs. I just cuddle up closer and fall asleep. Feeling content and happy for the first time in months.

In the morning, I hear the phone ring. It's Zero's. He crawls over me to answer it. Giving me a kiss before he says Hello.

"Hello," Zero says. "Hey Bro. You coming so we can shoot some hoops? I wanted to talk to you too. You're not going to let your new girlfriend keep you away?" Ichiru laughs. "No, She is sleeping. I will shoot some hoops with you. I can't seem to sleep anyway. I just drift in and out." Zero states. "I will meet your and mom and dads." Ichiru answers.

"I'm going to go spend time with my brother. While you catch up on some sleep. Ok?" Zero says. "Yep, Enjoy your time," I answer. "I will. I will make some breakfast for us both, when I return." Zero responds."Sounds good," I say drifting back to sleep.

Zero gets dressed and walks down the street. Seeing Ichiru waiting for him on his parent's steps. It's a weird feeling for him to see him there. Ichiru just hands him a cup of coffee.

"I thought you would need this. To get you going. I'm sure you and your lady friend were busy." Ichiru states. "Why are all of you all over me because of her?" Zero asks. "Because your not the type. We never saw you so into a woman before. Now having a child? And saying you want to get married? Shit, I thought mom was going to blow a gasket last night. She tried to cover it up but when you left, her and dad couldn't stop talking about it. Is this woman just trying to trap you?" Ichiru asks. "No, I admit our relationship isn't like any other, but she loves me. She has given me everything, I ever wanted." Zero replies.

"Bro, are you going to be able to be an instant father to her kids? They aren't babies, they know their father. You're not going to be able to replace him." Ichiru responds. "I'm not trying to. Things are happening fast, I Know that. It's just the way it has to be at the moment. Once we are past all this, things should calm down and be normal." Zero answers. "I hope so for your sake," Ichiru says. "What about you? Don't you want to settle down?" Zero asks. "No, not at the moment. I am having too much fun playing the field. I just hate that, I'm going to lose my wingman." Ichiru admits. "You're going to be an uncle, and I will always be here for you." Zero remarks. "I know. Are you a bit nervous to meet her kids?" Ichiru asks. "A bit. Not sure, how it's going to go. The younger one, I was told isn't going to be too happy. It's probably a lot for them to take in. Their parents are divorcing. Their mother has a new guy a new child. Its a lot I'm sure." Zero comments. "Heh, They are teenagers, they are going to be more brutal then mom." Ichiru laughs. Throwing the ball at Zero. "Gee, Thanks. You make me feel so much better. You little shit." Zero replies. "That's what I'm here for, big bro." Ichiru answers.

Zero enjoys being with Ichiru, being able to discuss things with him. Be open. Its something they haven't had since they were children. He did know that Ichiru was right. This wasn't going to be easy. It was just part of the relationship now. They would deal and hopefully get over it. Zero just felt this was part of being Human and in her world. It still beats dealing with Vampires and Kaname. Which he sat there and thought. "I wonder how that ass is doing? He got the girl, I wonder what happens next." Zero thinks. Not knowing the full storyline.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Zero goes back to his house, going in the kitchen and making breakfast. Feeling happy and content for the first time since he was a child. To be able to spend time with his brother without any of the vampire bullshit, Twin curse or any other wacky stuff. Made him feel great. Even better than when they were kids. They didn't seem to have the curse to deal with now either, which left Ichiru and him on the same level. He didn't see that Ichiru was sickly here. They were both the same. He just hoped that jealousy wouldn't strike again as it did back at Cross. That their relationship would stay strong.

Being able to see his parents anytime, he wanted was also a plus. It was great to interact with them. Knowing they were safe and down the street. Also knowing that he would see them at work every day. His parenting owning and running the detective agency, along with him and his brother. It was still a family affair just a little different. So far this new life was great. He had everything, he could ever want or even hope for. Just still in the back of his mind, he would wonder, how Yuki was. That maybe if she was here, she would be human too. Maybe she wouldn't want Kaname? He knew he had to hide those feelings, That it would hurt Alexa to know that, After everything, she has done for him. He felt that he owed her. Which in truth he did. None of this would have taken place without her. He vowed to himself, he would make her as happy. Doing his best to let Yuki go and all thoughts about her. Still wondering what really took place in the anime or Manga. Just so far not having time to read or watch it. Then thinking would he really want to?

While he is making breakfast, I come downstairs, going up to him and giving him a tender kiss.

"Good morning," Zero says. "Morning, Did you have fun with your brother?" I ask. "Yes, it was great. I am still trying to get all this through my mind. It's amazing. I don't even feel like I use to. I'm not angry at all. I find myself smiling. I'm not used to this." Zero admits. "It should only get better. I mean life isn't always going to be fun and great but there are a lot of great things that do happen as well." I say. "After all this, I think I'm ready for anything," Zero says. "I bet," I answer. "Here, I want you to eat. I made a bunch of things. I would also like to go food shopping today if thats ok?" Zero asks. "Of course. I need to get stuff to for tonight's dinner. I am a bit worried about that. Whatever they say please don't take it to heart. It's going to take them time to get used to this. " I respond. "Don't worry, My mother wasn't any better. I think I can handle it. I will cook dinner tonight as well. I really enjoy it." Zero says.

"Sounds good to me. I want you to spend the night at my place." I reply. "Are you sure? They may not like that." Zero answers. "I know but I want to be with you," I comment. "I want to be with you too. I will take my work clothes, I will be out of there before they wake up so it's not so uncomfortable." Zero responds. "Ok, How are we going to work the living arrangments?" I ask. "We both have a home, so I guess we will need to pick which one we want to live at," Zero says. "I guess, we will have to go a bit slow on that, I want my kids to get used to you first. Plus if I leave the home, I won't get it in the settlement. We may have to go back and forth until the divorce is final. Then maybe sell both and get our own?" I suggest. "I know my mother is a lot to deal with but would it be ok if we stayed at mine for a bit? I have to say. I enjoy having them close. Its been so long." Zero admits.

Even though I rather move across the country to get away from her, I will give him his wish.

"Fine, if this makes you happy," I respond. "Thank you, and it does, "Zero says. Kissing me on my forehead. "I guess in the meantime, you can stay at mine. So the kids can get used to it. I never have done this before, so I am not sure how to work it." I respond. "Me either, We will just take it as it comes. Have you filed for a divorce?" Zero asks. "I am on Monday. I am not sure how long it will take, If he fights me, it can take a bit. " I remark. "Just another Kaname to deal with." Zero chuckles. "I guess, He really hasn't done anything to deserve this. So I am sure he isn't going to go down without a fight. " I state. "I did step into his life, and take over it. I understand. You don't regret it?" Zero says. "No, not at all. I love being with you. I am just sure our life won't be settled for a while. When he hears about the child that is only going to make it worse. My children do not know about him either. My oldest is sixteen, I am sure she didn't think she would be having another sibling." I respond. "I don't think any of us thought this was going to happen." Zero comments. "Thats for sure."

After we eat our breakfast, we go upstairs and take our shower. Then we get dressed and head out to the local supermarket. Zero just in awe of some of it. He wheels the cart, as I walk beside him. Picking up things that look good to him adding them in the cart. I just watch him, as he intently looks at things he wants to try. I also can't help but stare at him, his long lean body, in dark wash jeans and a blue pullover, with his black wool coat open. He pushes back his silver hair so he can look at things. He is just darling in every way. We walk around the supermarket, gathering things for dinner. Having a very nice quiet peaceful time.

When it comes time to wait in line, Zero just stands behind me wrapping his arms around me and putting his chin on my head. Is this real? I just keep asking myself. If it's not, I don't want to wake up. I don't want it to stop. I know he isn't perfect, even though at the moment, I think he is. I know real life will settle in, just for now, I want it to stay to last.

We pay for our items. Zero wheeling the cart to our car, not wanting me to lift the bags.

"I'm only going on four months, Zero I can help," I say. "Thats fine. I got it. I don't mind." Zero replies. "Are you sure? I may get too used to this." I reply. "I am fine, get into the car, I will be right there," Zero responds.

I place a kiss on his cheek and get into the car. I see his overprotectiveness is still there. Which I don't mind. He gets back into the car and we drive back home, Where we keep the food. He gets ready to start dinner. Since my children will be home soon. My nerves a bit rattled from just that thought. Everything was so nice, I am not sure it will stay that way.

I feel I should call my children, so this isn't a complete shock.

"Hey, girlies. I just wanted to let you know. I have someone special over for dinner tonight. I would appreciate, you both being on great behavior." I say. "Mom, Who? You never have anyone over. Nor do you tell us to behave."Liz Answers. "I normally don't have to tell you. Your both always very nice. I just don't know how you're going to take this guest. Especially you, Briana." I reply. "You have us wondering who it is? Is it a boyfriend?" Briana asks. "Yes, He is very special to me. Just when you see him, neither of you are going to believe it." I reply. "I can't believe you have a boyfriend." Briana laughs. "Thanks. I need you to cool yourself tonight Bri." I reply. "I never saw you act like this before. I guess he is special. Daddy isn't going to be very happy with this." Liz responds. "I don't want to hurt your father but I need to move on with my life. I will see you both shortly. I love you and be safe." I reply. "Love you too." They both reply.

I knew this was going to be a lot. Walking in to see an anime man standing there for real. The questions would be crazy. I am sure. I didn't mind any of that. It's just my younger child, didn't like him for some reason. I didn't want her to say something hurtful to him. She had a way of her wording cutting life a knife. I wanted things to go well. I guess we would see.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I set the table, as Zero cooks dinner. Spending this time with him is wonderful. We got along very well. It is nice just the two of us. It is the outside world. I was scared of.

I hear the keys in the front door. I know it's my girls. Here we go, I just hope for the best.

"Ok, Ma. Who is he? What's the big deal?" Bri asks. "I need for both of you to sit down. I am sure you're going to have a lot of questions. I will answer them the best I can." I say. Zero walking out of the Kitchen. "Dinner is almost done." He says. "WHAT? HOW? HOLY SHIT?" Liz says. Bri Following. "Ok Why him? Why not a cool Anime guy?" Bri says. " Bri stop that. You know how much I like him. " I answer. "Yea, So this is why your leaving dad? For him? HOw that hell is this even possible?" Bri asks. "I am not sure really. It just happened. I thought it was a dream it just turned out to be more." I say. "And he wants you? Where is his beloved Yuki?" Bri says. Which I have to say hurts to hear. "Yes, he wants me... Yuki is at Cross I guess. " I answer.

Zero just stands behind me not sure what to say. Both girls just eyeing him up. Not sure they are seeing right.

"OK funny joke ma, so this is a cosplayer and you're playing us?" Bri says. "No, he is the real deal," I reply. Shit, he even has the tattoo." Liz says. "Yea, and the lavender eyes. I thought he would look funky as a real person." Bri responds. Zero just chuckles not taking any of it to heart. Finding it funny that two teenage girls are eyeing him up and down.

"How do you like it here?" Liz asks. "It's different. But so far I am enjoying it." Zero replies. "You really want my mother? What about your dorky Yuki?" Bri says. "I have gotten very close to your mother. I see she cares for me for real. I enjoy being with her and I want to stay with her. Yuki is with Kaname. She should be happy." Zero answers. "Heh, you haven't read the manga have you?" Bri says. "No, I haven't had time. I do plan on it though." Zero responds. "This is just too much. I knew it had to be something for her to leave our father. Couldn't you just get him out of your system and stay with dad? You don't know what he is going to do in the future. How about if he wants to go back. SEe Yuki? I doubt he will give her up like that." Bri states. "We will take things as they come. I am very happy with him, I don't want to sneak around. I want a life with him." I answer. Knowing that my daughter did bring up some good questions even though at the moment I don't want to think about it.

Bri just gives him a dirty look as she sits down at the table to eat. I see. Zero being calm and letting everything just slide off of him. Which I am glad for.

We sit down and eat dinner, the kids asking him all kinds of questions still in stock that he is real. Which I couldn't blame them. I thought it was going to be worse then it was. As Bri keeps talking to him, she seems to adjust. Which I am thankful for. Zero just answers there questions not minding at all. Knowing this must be unreal to them. Just like it was for him. He thought about what Bri said about Yuki also, just keeping it to himself.

After dinner, the girls head to their rooms as me and Zero clean up.

"Are you ok?" I ask. "Yes, I'm fine. She wasn't as brutal as my mother. I think once, she started to talk to me, she was ok." Zero says. "Yea, Another hurdle over," I respond. "I am sorry, she kept throwing Yuki at you. I am sure that didn't feel good. It reminded me of always having Kaname thrown at me." Zero states. "They know how you feel about her. At the moment, I guess I am you. I am just dealing with it." I answer. "You don't have anything worry about," Zero responds. I just nod.

Knowing he still cares for her. This can disappear at any time. I just at the moment don't feel like going into it. So I just let it go.

"Are you ready for bed?" Zero asks. "Yea, I'm tired and really want to just cuddle up to you," I answer. Zero just smiles. As we walk up to the bedroom. Once we are upstairs, I just lock the door behind us.

"I want to thank you for dinner it was very good. "I say. "No problem. I really don't mind. " Zero responds. "Are you worried about work tomorrow?" I ask. "No, I will be with my family, things should be ok. It's weird. Some things just come to me naturally. It's like I been here all my life, instead of Cross. " Zero comments. "I am glad the transition isn't being hard on you. I was worried about that." I reply. "No, I would have thought it would have been more too. I think seeing my family here makes it a lot easier too." Zero states, Getting into bed.

We cuddle up close, which makes the rest of the world seem to disappear. Wrapped in his arms, is where I want to be. Even though a lot is going through my mind at the moment, I try to just enjoy what's happening. I just feel real life is going to weight this relationship down. I just hope that doesn't happen.

I drift asleep in his arms, feeling warm and cozy. He has a way of making me feel calm and yet can get me crazy at the same time. I have just been keeping my hands to myself. Trying not to act like a teenager. When in mind, it takes a lot for me to restrain myself. Then I think why am I? He is mine, right? He likes me sexually also? Why Am I behaving? Because I am shy and I'm trying not to come off too strong. I need to move on with that.

Around 5 Am the alarm goes off, Zero having to get up for work. He goes to take a shower and gets dressed. Putting on his white crisp shirt, black dress pants, black tie, black vest, and his gun holder. I just sit up and watch. My mind going into the gutter and everywhere else. This was my fantasy man, standing in front of me. Looking hot as hell. He rocked that outfit even more in real life then he did in the anime if that was even possible. I know he is almost fully dressed and done, but I can't help myself. I crawl to the end of the bed, Where I pull him near me.

"Is everything ok?" He asks. "No," I answer. "What's wrong?" He asks. "I need you, "I say as I kiss him passionately pulling him close to me. As much as I want to rip off his clothes, I know I can't. So I leave them alone just undoing his fly rubbing his member. "Babe, you couldn't do this before I got dressed?" Zero chuckles. "No, You in these clothes make me crazy," I answer. He doesn't fight me or push me away which makes me feel good. I see the same lust in his eyes. I just unbutton his pants and pull them down, So I can sit on him. My hands running through his hair, as I kiss him passionately. I slide myself down onto him. Taking ever inch he has to offer. I keep riding him, fast and hard till we both explode.

Zero cleans himself up, pulling his pants up and tucking in his shirt. "I hope you have a good day at work," I say catching my breath. "If it's even half as good as this morning, I am sure it will be good." He replies. "I love you. I will see you later on After work." I respond. "I will come over after work. We will have dinner." He states. I just smile as I kiss him goodbye.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Its been two weeks, everything seems to be going as good as it can. Zero is getting settled at work and with us. My daughters are doing pretty well with him being here. Still a little on the shocked side. Which was to be expected, but my younger one has gotten to like him. Zero has been very calm and easy going. Making it hard to not like him.

He comes home from work everyday cooking us dinner. We sit down as a family and talk about our day, and eat. Zero spends the night, every night. He is here, more than he is at his own home. He knows I don't want him to leave. I have gotten very used to him being here and it's only been a short time. He seems to enjoy it here, having his family who he sees every day. I see him happy and smiling. He has come along way from the grump, he was at Cross. He still has his moments, don't get me wrong. Zero is Zero, but I do see him happier. Which I am thankful for.

My mind in the last two weeks has gone everywhere. Like is this real? Am I doing the right thing by keeping him here? Will he regret this? Will he miss her? Even though he is starting a new life, he still remembers his old one. Yuki being a big part of that. I don't expect him to just forget her and fall out of love with her. I am, to be honest, shocked he even came here. Sometimes I wonder why he did? Because he really loves me? Or because she left with Kaname and it pissed him off? I guess, either way, I should be thankful. I do love him.

My end is truthful and real. He may be giving up his old life, but so am I. I am giving up everything. I ever knew that was real. Not a manga or anime. It was just everything. I built in my lifetime. If this goes south, I have lost a lot and also ruined other peoples lives in the process. I am also bringing in another life into this world. Which still amazes me. I never saw any of this coming, but that has knocked me over and over again. It also makes me smile. I would never regret it, it was something I always wanted. A son. Now having it with a man, I adored made it so much more. I just never thought. I would be having any more children. Me and my husband were done. I guess never say never huh?

Its Sunday night, Zero and I are in the kitchen getting dinner ready. I still have moments, I just stare at him. I can't help myself. I will find myself touching his arm, or back, just to make sure he is real, and I'm not dreaming. I think he has noticed but he hasn't said anything to me. There are times, I want to ask if he misses her or his old life. I am just scared to. I am scared of the answer he will give me. He does hold me and put his head on mine like he use to do to her. I see a closeness and I love it. So for now, I'm not asking. I am sure if he wants to return he will let me know.

While we are making dinner, we are also waiting for my daughters to come home from their fathers. He takes them every Friday and drops them off on Sunday. It's been three weeks since I talked to him and filed for divorce. He keeps telling the girls that this isn't real, that I will change my mind. That I am just going through some Midlife changes. He doesn't know about the baby yet, and I am not sure if the girls told him about Zero. Last I knew, he thinks my affair was over. Which now I don't believe its an affair, it's just a new relationship. I know this has to hurt him, we have been together for a long time, Never really having intentions of leaving one another. Not because we love each other, because we are used to each other. We built a life together, a family. We were going to stay in it till the end. Until Zero anyway. He changed that right away. He changed everything in my life as much as I did in his. I just hope this goes well.

As we are getting the table set for dinner, I hear a key in the door, thinking its the girls. I take a look a see Joel rushing in. Straight towards me.

"What the hell is going on? I heard a man is staying here with you? I thought your affair was over?" Joel Shouts.

Zero hearing everything from the kitchen comes out and stands right beside me. Not liking his tone or his movements towards me.

"Joel it doesn't really have anything to do with you anymore. I filed for divorce three weeks ago." I answer. "So you just go back to him? Let him move into our home with our girls? What the hell is wrong with you?" "Buddy I know you're upset, but you need to settle down. I don't like how you're talking to her." Zero states calmly. "And you must be him! You have a lot of nerve moving into my home!" Joel shouts. "I am sorry, I know this must be hard for you. I never meant to hurt you."I respond. " I just want to know what the hell your thinking? Is this a mid-life crisis? IS he just using you?" Joel states. "No to none of that. I am in love with him. I am happy. I am just sorry that hurt you at the same time." I reply. " I Don't want this around my girls. Can you even trust him?" Joel says. "Joel, Really? First of all, you know I would never do anything to hurt my children. ANd second, Zero is the kindest, sweetest man ever. He would never do anything to hurt them or me. And for him being here, the girls are going to have to get used to him living with them. Because he will be for the long haul." I answer. "You're going to marry her?" Joel asks. "Yes, I intend to. I want to have a family with her, and be with her. I will not harm your children. I would appreciate you stepping back from her and treating her with more respect." Zero responds.

Not liking how in my face he is, also not wanting him to hurt me or the baby.

"I can't believe this. I just can't believe it. Not only do you throw me out? Want a divorce, You cheat and make him move in? You even let him talk to me like this! What the fuck else?" Joel asks. "I am sorry. It just happened. I am sure you can move on and be happy as well. It's not the end of the world." I respond. "This isn't the woman I married. She would never do this to me. To our family. What does he have? Why him? Why now?" Joel asks. "He makes me feel like no other ever has. I can't help how I feel about him. Just looking at him makes my world light up." I respond. "Good Lord, A teen crush and you fuck up a family for it." Joel answers. "Ok, I Think thats enough. Its time for you to leave." Zero says. "Oh, thats great he has a badge. If I don't listen you're going to shoot me." Joel says seeing Zeros gun holder and badge. "No, but I will call the cops on you. If you continue this. You need to settle down. Where are the girls?" Zero asks. "They are in the car." Joel states. "Alexa go get them, and bring them for a walk, then their father can get going," Zero says.

Taking control of the situation, trying to calm it down. Seeing that Joel is very upset and pissed. Which really doesn't surprise Zero, he knows how it feels. He has been on the other end watching Yuki with Kaname. Just this was a bit more, he just knew he had to keep things calm to a degree. He knew he stepped into this mans life and took over it. He knew that was hard.

I am shaking and a bit nervous not really expecting to have to deal with that tonight. I go out to get my girls out of the car, I just call Zero telling him, I am going to take them for a walk around the block, while he gets rid of Joel. For the first time ever, I was afraid of Joel. His temper tonight was there more then it ever has in the past. Then in the past, I didn't cheat or ask to move on. I know this was hard for him. I just didn't want trouble. I just wanted to be free, to start a life over. I didn't want my girls to see this. They just knew he came in to talk, they had no idea all that was said. Zero got him to calm down and he drove off.

"You can come home now, He left," Zero says. "I am so sorry you had to deal with that," I answer. "It's ok. I am here for you. I Just didn't like how close to you he was getting. I did understand why he was so upset. Are the girls ok?" Zero asks. "They are fine. They have no clue." I respond. "Good, take them home, we will sit down for dinner as nothing happened." Zero states.

I go home with the girls and we do just that. Even though I'm not really hungry. I try to act as if everything is ok in front of the girls. Not showing them, anything is wrong. I do take it they told their father Zero moved in. I just don't ask or try to make things worse. I just can't wait for the divorce to be over. I filed online and brought all the papers to the county clerk. It was going to be easy and fast. Just now I am not so sure Joel was going to make it be that. We could be divorced in 90 days. That was as long as he went along with everything and we agreed. Now I wasn't so sure. If he changed and wanted a lawyer, it would take longer, more money and a lot more stress I just hope he would do the right thing and not be petty.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

I wait a few days for Joel to cool off before I text him. I need to know, if the divorce is going on schedule, or if he is going to make things hard.

Alexa: Joel, are you ok? I just wanted to check in.

Joel: I'm Fine, Don't worry you will get your divorce you so want. I don't see what is so special about him. I still don't see why you are doing this. But if this is what you really want so be it. The only thing is, I want you to put the house up for sale. There is no way. I am letting him live there. You get your half, I get mine.

"Alexa: Fine, if that is going to make this go easier, I will do it. He wasn't going to live here anyway. We were trying to let the girls get us to him being here.

Joel: Really? Letting a stranger come into our home? Being with our Girls? I don't see what the hell is wrong with you. You're normally smarter than this.

Alexa: I know him for a while, he isn't a stranger. Like I Said to you before, He would never hurt them or me. You have to have some trust in me.

Joel: TRuST? You speak about TRUST? Thats a bit much coming from you. I did trust you. Look where it got me.

Alexa: I see this isn't getting us anywhere. I will call a realtor and put the house for sale. I will let you know what they say.

Joel: Whatever. You will put our home up for sale and let go of everything we built for him?

Alexa: It's not only for him. Its something I need to do. Our marriage was lacking Joel. You don't look for something else when you're happy.

Joel doesn't text me back, I know he is mad. I am sure he is going through a lot of things. Just the same as me. That night I need to speak to Zero. I knew he would be at my home, soon after he was finished at work. He would come home like clockwork.

"Hey, How was your day?" Zero asks. "Good, and yours?" I answer. "Good. Anything knew about Joel?" Zero asks. "I spoke to him this afternoon. I sent him a text. He is going to let the no contest divorce go, as long as I put the house for sale and give him his share. He wasn't too happy with you staying here." I say. "Thats fine, you can move into mine. We can start our life." Zero replies. "You're sure you're ok with this? You're not only taking me, but you're also taking my two children." I respond. "I am fine with it. You took me into your home, you have given me everything I wanted. I am fine with it. I wouldn't even have the home if it wasn't for you. Plus this is a good thing, we can start getting ready for our child." Zero answers.

"That sounds nice. I really want to share that with you. Getting the room together. Buying things for the baby together. It's a special time. I just don't want Joel to ruin it." I say. "He isn't. I am not going to let him get to me like I made Kaname get to me in the past. Plus you're not in love with him. I know you want me and only me. It's all that matters. Once the divorce is over, your free." Zero comments. "Too a degree, I will still see him for our girls," I respond. "I know, but you won't be married to him." Zero remarks. "Are you really happy here?" I ask. Really needing to know.

"Yes, I am very. I love seeing my mom and dad every day. I am able to pick on my brother. Everything is normal and real. It's great. I come home to you. I am fine." Zero answers. "Good. I really want you to be." I say.

I know moving in with Zero is going to be a lot. It wasn't my home. I just knew I had to get over that. I made him feel at home at my house. I know he would do the same. It was just weird starting over. I was happy to hear he was doing well here. I knew being with his family would make him happy. I still just wondered if that was the only reason, he didn't mind being here. Yes, I still had doubts. Wouldnt you?

I called the realtor who came to our house and had it asset. We put it up for sale and started taking the furniture out. I gave most of it to Joel. Zero already had furniture, and there was no sense in taking all this stuff to his place. I did take the girls beds, and their stuff to put it in their new room.

They were over Zero by now, but selling the house, they were not very happy with. They didn't know, why they had to leave there childhood home. I didn't want to say because your father was being petty. I just said it was a good thing to move on. Their new room was big enough for both beds. So they shared a room which wasn't anything different. They always did. It was just going to take them a bit to get used to a new house.

Zero lost his office, for us to turn it into the babies room. He just fixed up the basement and put his office down there. Nothing really seemed to bother him. He was so calm and push me I'll go. It was great, to be honest. He was still sweet and loving. I had no problems with him. I wasn't looking forward to living down the street from his mother though. Real life...It isn't as fun as the anime world.

It didn't take us long to get the house ready for us to move in. Now just would tell the tale. Could we make it as a couple? Would Yuki come back to haunt us? I guess we will find out. Ready or not.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"So are you ready to move in with me?" Zero asks. "Yes, We already have been living together. I like being with you." I answer. "I like it too. I hope the girls like it as well. I think they will like there room when they see it." Zero states. "Me too. They are going to there fathers for the weekend, so they will see it when they get back. We will be alone for the weekend." I reply. "My mother did ask that we would maybe start family dinners at her house. Saturdays or Sundays? She would like to keep it a tradition. So she can see the baby and us. What do you think?" Zero asks. "I think if it makes you happy, then we will do it. I think for the first one, let's do it Saturday when my children are at their dad's. Let her get more use to me, before adding them into it. She asks a lot of questions. I don't need my daughters being involved in. It's bad enough, god knows what their father is saying." I reply. "I understand that. I think thats good. If there is anything else you need for the house let me know. I want you to feel at home. It's not my house, it's our house. You let me do whatever, I wanted in yours. Same goes for you." Zero replies.

"Thank you. I can't believe we are leaving the house behind. We spent eighteen years there. We watched our children grow up. I wish he wouldn't have asked to sell it. Even if it was just for them."I say. "I am sorry you're giving up all this to be with me. Do you regret it?" Zero asks. "No, I want to be with you. I just didn't think, all this would have come with it. I really never even thought any of this would happen. I mean you weren't real. I am still in shock over most of it." I answer. "Same here. I catch myself looking into the mirror at myself at times. I can't believe I am here. This is me. Sometimes are hard to deal with, yet others seem like I always been here." Zero comments.

"It will be like this till the divorce is over, and then us having a child. We just need to settle down. Its been one thing after another. I am just sure in the end it will be worth it." I state. "Me too. Are you ready to say goodbye?" Zero asks. "I reply yes. Even though deep down I'm not. I lived my adult life in his house. Now it was off to be someone else's. We took our babies home, here. Had our good and bad times here. It was hard even standing next to the love of my life. I felt an emptiness inside myself. I knew the same would be for Joel. I never meant to hurt him or anyone. I guess that was too late now.

I stand outside taking one last look, as Zero and I get into his car. My daughters already at their fathers. I say goodbye as a tear runs down my face. I hope the next people enjoy it as much as we did. I hope they get even more out of it.

Zero holds my hand, knowing my feelings are mixed at the moment. He sees that I left a lot for him, as he did for me. Maybe even more, if you really think about it. I didn't regret it. I love him. I am happy with him. He is giving me everything, I ever wanted. I just fear that it won't last. That he will change or want to return to his old life. The one thing that always stands in the back of my mind. Is Yuki. I know his love for her was real. Nothing stood in its way not even Kaname. It scares me that the same will happen here. That no matter how much I try to change his path, it will happen anyway.

We get back to his place, Zero giving me a key and doing his best to make me feel like home. I just look into his face, and I'm happy. He did everything to make the place a home for us. I look around, getting to know the place more than before. We spent more time at my old home together. So that the girls wouldn't have to change there lives. Their father now took that away. I understood that he didn't want Zero staying in a home, that he built for his family. Its why I didn't fight him. I also didn't want the divorce to last forever and eat up funds we didn't have. I wanted this to go as painless as it could. So if it meant giving up the house. So be it. It was only a material item. I still haven't told Joel about the child. I don't have the heart to. Plus I would rather wait till after the divorce was final, just to make sure. It didn't start anything. I knew this child would hurt him, as when he asked to have one more child. I said no. Now I was carrying Zero's. It wasn't planned. We all know the true story. But Joel doesn't.

I Place my clothes in the dresser and closet that Zero gave to me. Trying to get used to being here. I add a few pillows and soft blankets to our bed. Making it cozy and warm for us. It's Quiet and nice here. Just me and him. No problems from the outside world at least at the moment. When its just us everything is great.

As I am upstairs putting things away Zero comes upstairs to talk to me.

"Finding everything ok?" Zero asks. "Yes, I kept my clothes and added a few things to the bed. I hope thats ok?" I say. "Totally fine, I already told you, you can do anything you need here. I came upstairs to get you. Dinner is done." Zero states. "Thank you. Is it bad that I wish it was just me and you?" I comment. "No. I can see why you would say that. We will be ok. We just have to hang in there."Zero remarks. Taking my hand.

We walk downstairs to the kitchen and sit at the Island to eat. Zero making some pasta. Everything he always cooked was very good. I enjoyed it. We sit there and talk, being close. Just like we were at Cross. Just now as myself, which felt good. He was accepting me, for me. I couldn't ask for more.

When dinner is over, Zero cleans up as I head back upstairs. It's pouring down with rain. It just coming down hard hitting the windows. I stand in front of the upstairs window looking out. I just feel Zero come up behind me and put his arms around me. We stand there watching it rain. Close in each other's arms. Finally feeling, like I'm home. Like I am where I need to be.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The next morning, I wake up in Zero's arms. It's so warm and cozy laying there in bed so close to him. I can't ask for anything more. I know he is trying his best to make me feel ok. He is such a good man in so many ways. His loyalty alone is what made me fall in love with him. The rest was just icing on the cake. Even in this life, he still has the same inner self. I am so glad that didn't change. It just makes me wonder if he was so loyal and attached to Yuki, is he still now? I know he doesn't bring her up or his past. I think thats just because he doesn't want to hurt me. I know he feels he owes me, for giving his family back to him. I just don't want him to stay with me. Only because of that. I want him with me because he truly cares. Because he feels the way I do about him if that was even possible.

We lay in each other's arms for the morning, enjoy each others company. Talking about what we need for our child. Zero happy and excited to go shopping for him. Wanting him to have everything he never had. It makes me smile to see him so engrossed in all this.

While laying there, When he kisses me, electric tingles run through me. When his hands touch me, I melt into him. I never felt this way before. I am so lost in him, I don't want to see anything else around us. I try my best to put all my worries in the back of my mind. Not wanting to see this could fall apart at any time.

We get up to go out to look for baby things. I am already going on for five months now. The time is going pretty quickly. I am not even sure, we will be married before this child comes into the world. I do have to say, it would make me feel a bit better. Zero keeps saying that he is going to marry me. I just haven't seen any ring as of yet. Then I'm not even divorced yet. What a mess. It's just with Zero, I want to do everything. I want to be his forever. Or at least to my dying days. In a way, I am glad I never felt this way about anyone else. Its a curse in many ways. To love someone so much you would do anything for them. That their touch makes you so crazy you can't help yourself. This isn't me, not the real me. I was never that blinded by love. I did love my husband very much when we got married. He made me happy, but his touch didn't do this to me. And I started seeing things clearly after a year of marriage. I was no longer lost in the love daze. I wonder if that will happen this time? Just my love is much stronger, he has a hold on me, no one has ever had before.

After shopping, we just lay the items in the babies room. Zero telling me, he will put the crib together soon. That we will do it together. Which makes me very happy. I love doing anything with him. Just this was even more special to me, it was our child. A part of him growing inside of me. A smile would grace my face every time I thought about that. Even in times when I felt so much despair. That would help me get past it.

"I enjoyed today," I say. "Me to, It was a lot of fun baby shopping. There are so many things for them. It's crazy." Zero responds. "I know, Enjoy my little body now, because once I turn six months, I turn into a blimp."I giggle. "I am sure you're fine," Zero responds. "You will see." I smile. "Are you ready for tonight?" Zero asks. "I guess. I am sure your mother is going to ask us a lot of questions. She seems to like doing that." I say. "Yes, she is always bothering me about the divorce. I see her every day at work. I haven't gone there very often to their house. Just on Sunday to shoot hoops with Ichiru. It gives us time to talk and be alone. I enjoy that. I am so glad he is himself. That he isn't sick or weak. He actually kicks ass at work." Zero responds. "I am glad. I know how much you care for him. He is really cool." I respond.

Yes, Ichiru was cool, but in a way, it was very weird to be around another man, that looked exactly like the man I adored. I tried not to be alone with him, or around him for too long. I couldn't help myself but stare, trying to see the differences. Which the only one was the damn hair cut. Otherwise, they were the same person on the outside. Oh and the tattoo. Zero took that into this world, it just means nothing here. Just a plain old tattoo. Otherwise, I couldn't spot any difference.

The evening came fast, which I wasn't really looking forward to. For some reason anytime, I had to go to his parent's house I got angsty. The last time wasn't much fun, since then I stayed away. I have been busy, with all my own stuff. I didn't really need to go there and put up with her shit. I knew Zero wanted us to get along and wanted them in our child's life. I understand that. I didn't mind it either. I just wish, she would accept me for who I am. Not trying to pick on everything. I have done in my life. I didn't plan on cheating on my husband and leaving. Things happen. Its life. Move on. She just couldn't seem to.

I knew she was always picking on Zero at work. Saying things about me. She found it funny that my husband was making me sell our home. Feeling I deserved it in a way. She would always put little things in Zero's mind. He just did his best not to let it get to him. Knowing that neither of us ever thought this was going to happen. We knew the true facts. It just didn't make it better without her constant nagging. Why did it matter, that I was married? To her anyway? I didn't take her husband. No, I took her son. Just couldn't she see, I Loved him? She was always telling him, I was using him. Wanting his money, and his home. I had my own, which I gave up for him, but she didn't see it that way.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I am upstairs getting dressed for tonight. I just watch as Zero gets dressed. Putting on his dark wash jeans, grey pullover, and sneakers. Even in plain everyday clothes, he still looks great. I just put on a pair of jeans and a fuzzy pink sweater with my black tall boots. Pushing my long hair into a ponytail. If nothing else, at least my clothes will be comfortable this evening.

"You look very nice babe," Zero says placing a kiss on my head. "Thank you. So do you." I respond. "I am starved. Let's go so we can get some food." Zero chuckles. "It's really nice seeing you smile and laugh so much. It makes all this worth it." I say. "I never thought this would be me. Happy? Fun? Having a family of my own? Mostly a person that loves me for me and only me. Its been really special even with all the turmoil." Zero responds.

We walk out the door hand and hand. Just looking up at each other. It takes no time to get there since they are only down the street. The door is open so that Zero and I can just walk in.

"Hey, Zero is here, "Ichiru says. "Hey, We are glad you two could make it. I wanted to start a tradition for us to share every weekend." Mrs. Kiryu says. "I think that is very nice," I respond. "It's been a while since we last saw you. Zero tells me you been very busy. It must be weird having to leave your home?" Mrs. Kiryu says. "Yes, In a way it has been. Zero has been very good to me. Doing everything to make his place seem like home." I reply. "Isn't that nice of my son. He is a good boy. He always has been. I think too good for his own sake." Mrs. Kiryu responds."That is one reason. I love your son. He is very loyal, very kind. There isn't many like him. He is truly special." I say. "At least you know. So what's happening with this Divorce? That bun in the oven is getting bigger and bigger." Mrs. Kiryu states. "It's going pretty good. Its why I went along with selling the house. So the divorce would go faster without any contestment. In two months we should be divorced. " I comment. "You will be seven months. Thats cutting it pretty close, if you two plan on getting married. I know this is going to sound rude. My son doesn't have the guts to ask you, but I do. How do we know thats my son's child your carrying? And not your husbands. Or who evers?" Mrs. Kiryu says.

Did this bitch just ask me that? Is she for real? WTF? I may not be perfect but I'm not a whore. I say to myself trying to calm myself down.

"Mother really? Why would you ask that?" Zero shouts. "I am just being honest. I know that had to go through your mind as well." Mrs. Kiryu says. "No, actually it hasnt. I know her better than that. She wouldn't say its mine if it wasn't." Zero snaps. "Your too good to think otherwise. You need to. You need to know for sure. Not just take her word for it." Mrs. Kiryu states.

"I don't really know why you have it in for me. I just know you do. Every time I come here you seem to say something way out of turn. I know you love your son. I understand that. I love and want to protect my children as well. There is a limit or at least a better way. I never showed you any reason to ask me what you just did. It's your son's child no one else. If you want to believe it or not thats on you. I don't need to prove anything to you. All that matters to me, is what Zero believes. He is my only concern." I answer. Getting up from the Island and walking out.

I stand on the step, taking a deep breath. Not even sure, I was in the right place. Was she for real?

"I am sorry about my mother. She does have a way of going too far." Ichiru says. "She is something. Thats for sure." I respond. "She wants what is best for me and my brother. She just knows how he is. " Ichiru responds. "He is a good man, I know that. I wouldn't take advantage of that. I am going to head home. Just let Zero know where I went, please. I don't feel so well." I reply.

Walking down the street to Zero's home. I open the door with the key not even putting the lights on. I just head upstairs to the bedroom to lay down. The nerve of that woman. I just can't get it out of my mind. The hell with her.

Zero walks outside seeing Ichiru on the step. "Where is Alexa?" Zero asks. "She went home. Said she didn't feel well. I guess not after mom. Guess that dinner was a bust."Ichiru says. "You think. What the hell is mom thinking? Damn. That was just rude. She didn't deserve that. She has given me everything. She left everything for me. I am not going to let mom do that to her." Zero replies. "Good luck with that," Ichiru says.

Zero gets off the step and walks home opening the door to a dark home. He sees that Alexa didn't put on any lights or even stay downstairs. He heads upstairs to his bedroom, finding her laying on the bed.

"I want to say I am so sorry. She should have never said that to you." Zero says. "Do you believe it's yours?" I ask. "Of course. I know what we did. At cross, we didn't keep our hands off each other. I never used anything. I would just get so excited and forget everything else." Zero admits. "Yea, because you were making love to Yuki, You thought I was her. I was giving you your dream. You had no idea it was me." I say with tears running down my face. "At the time yes. If she would have gotten pregnant, I didn't care. It would take her away from Kaname. I will admit it. But it's different now. I am very happy with you." Zero replies. "Really? You don't think about her? Want her? Need her? Are you just with me because I gave you your family back? Because I'm pregnant?" I ask. "No, not at all. I came back here for you. I didn't even know you were pregnant or that my family could be here with me. I came because I wanted to say. I was sorry. That being with you made me happy. I know my mother made you rethink some things, but please. Don't. I want to be with you and Our child. I know it's my child." Zero comments. "When it's born, I will take a DNA test to prove to you and her it's yours." I snap. "You don't have to. Did you hear anything I said?" Zero says. "Yes, even if you believe it. She doesn't. She will hold it against me our whole relationship. The test will just make her have to eat her words."I respond. "I see this isn't going to be good between you two. I wish things were different." Zero answers. "There is no Kaname in this life, it's this. It's real. There is always something in each life. If it's just her we can deal with it. I am not going to let her ruin us. I love you Zero with all my heart. I hope you know that." I respond. "I do. I See all you did and do for me. I just hope I can always make you this happy." Zero says. "I am sure you can. I don't want to go to her home anytime soon Zero. Please." I comment. "Fine. I think she owes you an apology anyway before you ever go back. That was rude and very uncalled for." Zero remarks. "I don't want to talk about her anymore," I answer.

"How are you feeling? Ichiru said you were not feeling well." Zero asks. "My head hurts. I am fine otherwise." I say. "I think we need something to eat. Since we never got to. I will go downstairs and get us something." Zero responds. "I'm not that hungry," I reply. "You will be, I will make it you're favorite. You need to eat." Zero says. "PIzza huh?" I say. " Yep with lots of cheese. Just how you like it." Zero says with a smile. "I love you, "I reply. Wrapping my arms around him. Giving him a kiss.

"I love you too." He answers.

Zero goes downstairs getting us something to eat. He returns sitting in bed with me. Getting me to eat something. He was always trying to take care of me. We laid there holding each other, Zero trying to make up for his mothers doing. Knowing she overstepped.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Two months go by, that I have been living in Zero's home. My daughters have gotten to like the place. Zero is being very kind and supportive to all of us. He knows this is hard on all of us. I haven't spoken to his mother since that night. I stay as far away from her as I can. Zero sees her every day at work, where she still tells him things and puts all kind of goodies into his mind about me. We just try to let it go. It hasn't been easy being in this world with him. Then all relationships have its up and downs. We just had to get through this.

My divorce was finally over, Joel didn't do anything to stop it. When he found out I was pregnant, he couldn't wait to get it over with. The girls slipped one day, talking about me and Zero buying baby things. That was enough for Joel to finally let go. Even he wasn't a problem anymore. He would pick up the girls on Friday and bring them back on Sunday. We would only talk if we needed to discuss things for them. I would see him just stare at Zero while talking to me at times. Seeing the man that took his life over. None of this was easy. Zero and Joel were cordial to each other. Both of them trying there best to keep this calm for the kids. Plus Zero really didn't have anything against Joel. He is the one to ruin his life not the other way around. Zero for the first time seeing, what it was to be on the other end of things. Where he was the one wanted and loved. I saw it made him happy, to see someone could care so much about him. They left their world for him, not even looking back. I knew that was another reason he stayed. He never had or felt this in his world. It was different.

Its Monday morning and Zero is headed to work. Walking into his office, finding his mother there.

"Zero did the divorce ever come through?" Mrs. Kiryu asks. "Mom, are we still on this? Yes, it came there. She is divorced now. Are you happy?"Zero asks. "I am not sure. What are you going to do now? Where does this lead? She got pissed at me for stating the facts. She hasn't talked to me since. Maybe she is hiding something."Mrs. Kiryu says. "Mom, I want you to stop this. I am going to ask her to marry me. You need to apologize for what you said to her. Our child will be born soon. I want you to be in its life. Just if you keep this up, you might not be." Zero states. "But Zero why do you want to marry her? You should take the test. You need to know." Mrs. Kiryu pleads. "She said she will take it as soon as the child's born. Just to shut you up. I don't feel she needs to. I think your overstepping. I am asking her to marry me. I already got a ring. I want you to stop this." Zero comments.

"Fine, How are you two going to get married? I want to be there. You're my first son to get married. I want to be a part of it." Mrs. Kiryu says. "I don't know how she wants to do it. She has been under a lot of stress. So much has been happening. It's whatever she wants." Zero says. "Look, I will apologize and even help with getting things for the wedding. Just so I can be there. Me and your father, Your brother. Zero We should be there." Mrs. Kiryu remarks. "I will ask her and see what she says. I want this special for us mother. Please. "Zero says. "For you, I will do anything. I will bite my tongue." She says. "Good, and thank you." Zero replies. Getting ready for work.

I get home somewhat early. Feeling tired and worn out. I am already seven and a half months pregnant. The time flew fast, this baby would be here soon. Zero and I still had to put the crib together to finalize the room. It was a nice time doing things with him for our child. I just wish everything else was as nice. Before I knew it, Zero was home as well. I loved when he would get home and be with me. We always had a lot to talk about.

"Your home early," I say. "Yes, I wanted to start working on the crib tonight. Figured we should get that done." Zero replies. "Yea probably. Need some help?" I ask. "I was hoping you would," Zero responds.

We both walk upstairs to our child's room. We did it up with light blue walls and white trim. Hardwood floors with a blue round rug, white dresser and rocking chair. We put his name above where we are going to put the crib.

I take a seat on the floor, Zero handing me pieces as we put the crib together. It is white and would turn into a toddler bed. While I am fishing around trying to find the bolts, I spot a small box on the floor.

"Zero what's that?" I ask. "Why don't you take a look and see," Zero says.

I scoot myself over and open the box to reveal a diamond engagement ring. I just look up at him with tears in my eyes.

"Will you marry me?" Zero says. "Yes, yes. Of course, I Will." I answer. Hugging him so tightly, I am squishing him. "I can't breathe babe." Zero chuckles. "Oh sorry. I love you so much Zero. I want to be yours forever." I say. "Same here. I think we should get something to eat and finish up our crib. Then just take some time for me and you." Zero says. "I dont know how sexy I am at the moment Zero.' I say looking at my very large belly." You're gorgeous to me. You're carrying our child. Nothing could be more beautiful. " Zero replies. Kissing my forehead.

He just made me the happiest. I have ever been. I wanted to marry him for such a long time. Be his and only his. It was my dream, now finally after all the craziness, it was going to happen. I couldn't help just staring at him, then back at my ring with such joy and happiness.

We put the crib up and then get some food. Showing the girls my ring. Both of them happy for us. They saw just how happy Zero made me. They were over the shock now and liked being around him. At least that part calmed down.

After dinner, we clean up and head upstairs. Taking our showers and getting into bed. Zero watching some tv, which he really liked in this world. I just lay close to him cuddling up. He keeps his hand on my belly rubbing it. I knew he wanted this child very much. It just made me wonder if that is why he was really here. Or really staying. There was just part of me that couldn't get how he just would get over Yuki so fast. Without thinking about her, or still loving her. That wasn't Zero. I just was hoping, I wasn't trapping him. He took to this life without any problems. I was glad about that don't get me wrong, but something just seemed off. He just let her go? No looking back? Maybe he was just still pissed she left with Kaname. He did see, she didn't look back, they never got to see each other after that. So maybe that was helping? We were so busy he hasn't read the manga or watched the anime. If he does want to watch the anime thats, not a big deal. It ends where he already knew about. Her leaving with Kaname. That might just make him hate her more? Then seeing her again wouldn't be good. So I for one wasn't bringing that up.

I would just wait and see what would happen. At least, I would be his wife and have his child. It was more than i could ever hope for.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Later that week, Zero and I are cooking together. It's Friday. Just me and him. We have a quiet and nice evening planned. I just sit at the Island as he cooks. Resting my feet. Watching him, do his thing. He is wonderful at cooking. He makes delicious things. Watching him just puts me in Awe. Was there anything this man couldn't do? I guess when you're in love with someone, you always think everything is perfect. At least at the start anyway. I have learned that things you once found to be cute, Annoy the hell out of you in years to come.

"Babe, I wanted to talk to you about a few things. I just waited a bit, I know you are still on a high from Monday."Zero says. "Yes, very. I am so happy. I find myself, just looking at my ring. Just because it came from you. It Means so much to me. I love it Zero. Thank you." I say. " No problem at all. I am glad. I can make you happy. What I have to ask now might not do that." Zero responds.

"What do you have to say? What's wrong?" I ask. Wondering what now his mother may have put into his head. Or was he changing his mind?

"Nothing is really wrong. I was just talking to my mother." Zero replies. "Oh, What does she want this time?" I ask sarcastically. " Well, she would like to be at our wedding, and even help with it. Maybe make amends? " Zero states. "Zero, we don't really have the money for a large wedding. Plus I'm very pregnant. I thought we would do something small. Something just us. Peaceful. No drama. " I comment. "It can still be all that. She would like to be there. I think you can see her point in that." Zero remarks. "Yes. I do. I just don't want her taking over everything and making things terrible. My children will be there Zero. If she says anything mean, I won't be able to hold back. I don't want this for our wedding day. I want something special. " I respond. "I told her to knock it off. I am sure she will try. Can you give her one more chance? For me?" Zero asks.

"You know for you, I would do anything. Thats not really fair." I say. Zero taking my hands in his. "I know. I want all my family together. Please." He states. "Ok, but if she gets out of hand. I am not going near her again." I answer. "Ok. Thats fair. She will be happy to know that she can help. It will mean the world to her." Zero comments.

Zero texts his mother, letting her know that I said ok to her helping and being at our wedding. Like I had a choice? If I would say no, I would be the bad guy. Keeping a mother away from her son's wedding and her son. I knew the games. I just really didn't want to play. I was tired and worn down from all the stress all these months have brought us. It was finally settling down some. We were settled in our home, the divorce was final, we were now going to get married. We were getting to our goal. I just had her in my way. I didn't mind if she would be ok and normal. I just didn't need her comments and making trouble. Nothing seemed to be calm with her.

"She is very happy to hear that you agreed. She said if we can go over tomorrow night and discuss some things. She also said. She would like to talk to you one on one." Zero says. "Uh Huh," I answer. "Whatever she says, I will be right there. I promise it will be fine. I think she is getting used to the idea of us." Zero says. "I doubt that," I answer.

We spend the rest of the night, just talking and being together. It was calm and nice. I really didn't want to go to his mother's house tomorrow evening. Every time, I went there it always brought up shit. I didn't want to hear. But for him, I would go. I was giving in to him more and more. Was I losing myself just to become the person he wanted? I often thought about that. Then he was doing the same. Wasn't he?

The next morning, came fast and so did the evening. Before we knew it, it was time to go to her home. Getting ready for battle and heading out the door. I was prepared for anything at this stage. What could she say now? What could she ask? She already called me an adulteress and a whore. What else was there? Guess we would see.

We walk down to their home, walking in. Again everyone there, in the kitchen. Including Ichiru.

"Hey, Glad you two could make it." Mr. KIryu says. "Same here, thank you for having us, dad." Zero answers. "Anytime my boy." Mr. Kiryu says. "Alexa if it would be ok, I would like a word with you?" Mrs. Kiryu asks.

I just stare at Zero, not sure what is coming. I just say. "Sure"

She brings me into the living room, taking a seat on the sofa, patting it to let me sit next to her.

"I know we got off to a wrong start. I know thats my fault. I wanted to say. I am sorry for most of what I said. I just want to protect my son. I see that he really loves and want to be with you. So I promised him, I would give you a chance." Mrs. Kiryu says. "I guess, we can start over," I answer. "That would be great. I know you guys want a small wedding. Zero keeps reminding me of that. That is fine. I was thinking, how about we do it here? Afterward, we have a small dinner? I can help with the food and anything else you need. I do see the time is coming for my grandson to be born and you need rest." Mrs. Kiryu states. "I think that would be great. Simple and nice. It's all I am looking for. You can invite whoever you want. Just please don't overdo it." I say. "Thats fine. We will only invite close friends. Your children, of course, your family?" Mrs. Kiryu says. "I don't have much. Just my mother. The rest of my family is dead. So it will pretty much be all your side." I answer. "Oh, I am sorry to hear that. I will do my best to make this as nice for you two as I can." Mrs. Kiryu comments. "Thank you. That means a lot." I reply.

Both of us walking back into the kitchen.

"Wow, both of you are scarless. I thought for sure that would come to blows." Ichiru chuckles. "We are women, we can control ourselves." Mrs. Kiryu states. "We are going to have the wedding here Zero. Your mom is going to help with everything." I reply. "Thats wonderful. That is what you want?" He asks me. "Yes, that sounds great. I am sure anything she does will be fine. We are starting over." I remark. "Good. That means a lot to me. To have both my favorite women in my life. Not fighting." Zero says. Kissing his mothers head. Then mine.

"I realized she isn't going anywhere. She is carrying my grandson. I would like to be part of the family. I am sure we can make this work. I also see she makes you so happy. Happier then I can ever remember you. It's all I can ask."Mrs. Kiryu states. "I love her and she does me, Mom," Zero says. "I can see that." Mrs. Kiryu replies.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

A few weeks go by, Zero's mother is very nice to me. Asking my opinions on the food and anything else. Trying to really start over. Which I have to say, now that she is trying, we have a nice time together. She is finally seeing me for me, as I am seeing her for her.

She wants this wedding to be everything for me and Zero. Wanting to make both of us happy. I agree to her suggestions as its happening in her home. With most of her family there. It's just me and my children. She knows what her family would like to eat better than I would. Plus I really don't mind about any of that. All I want is to be Mrs. Kiryu. Nothing could compare to the feelings, I been having the last few weeks. Knowing that its really going to take place.

I go to find myself a dress, which I have to say. I am dreading. I am close to eight months pregnant. I could wait till after the baby is born, but everyone is so happy about the wedding, I don't mind. Plus I really can't wait to be his. He seems very happy from what I have been noticing. He doesn't seem to have any regrets. He even asked his brother to be the best man. Which Ichiru gladly accepted. It makes Zero very happy to be around him. I see it more and more every day. His brother will call him, or stop by. He lights up from it. I am so happy. I could give this to him. He seems to trust him very much.

Before we knew it the wedding day was here. I went down the street to Zero's Parents house to get ready. As Zero stayed at ours. Ichiru was going to head there to help him get ready. And I'm sure to pick on him. Like he likes to do.

"Hey Bro, I just thought. I would stop by. Make sure you're not having any second thoughts. "Ichiru says. "No, I'm not. I can't believe the day is here so fast. Alexa is with mom. They are actually getting along great." Zero says. "Yea, Mom says nice things about her lately. She sees how much she cares for you. Do you really feel the same man? I mean it doesn't seem like you. Is this just because she is pregnant?" Ichiru asks. "No, there is more to this than that. You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Zero states. "Try me. I have been going over and over in my mind, Things don't add up. Not to mention, I don't remember living here all my life. What is going on?" Ichiru replies.

"Read This book, it should answer some of your questions. I haven't read it all. I did live it, at least half of it. I left before the other half took place."Zero states. "Are you Crazy?" Ichiru asks. "No, Google Vampire Knight. Go to the wiki page. See what it says." Zero announces. "WTF? Why am I there? What are you? Who is Yuki?" Ichiru responds. "Keep reading," Zero says.

Ichiru keeps reading finding everything out. Still not able to believe this is real. That he is part of this and also dead. Drained by Zero. That doesn't make him feel very good at all. Him having a helping hand in Zero becoming a vampire and his parent's death only hurts him more.

"Why would I do this? What is this?" Ichiru says. "It's a Manga, a Story. We are not real, we are just made up characters in someone's book. If it wasn't for Alexa none of us would be here. SHe came to Cross, because she wanted me. She pretended. She was Yuki and here we are." Zero states. "Here we are? So she pretended to be Yuki, that doesn't answer all my questions." Ichiru comments. "She wanted to give me, what I wanted. She was in Yuki's body and we had a great time together. She made me see how love is supposed to feel. When she left, and Yuki came back, things were not the same. I was happy to have her back, but my feelings were confused. I wasn't really in love with Alexa, I didn't even know who she was. I was curious. About what she looked like, where she came from. Yuki left me for Kaname, so I figured I would give it a try. When I got here, I still wasn't in love with her. I did see she cared for me. For real. Her feelings are true, Then she just kept giving me all these things, I never had. A child, My family was back and alive. I didn't want to go back to Yuki and leave all this. I never had any of this there. I had nothing there. So I stayed, I went along with it all, having some fun along the way. But now, I really care. The feelings grew, it feels so different to have a person love me and only me. Do things for me, without thinking about someone else. I know to marry her would make her extremely happy. I want to make her as happy as she makes me. Plus she is carrying my son. I want to give him a father. I want to watch him grow up." Zero states.

"So you pretty much just went along with this the whole while?" Ichiru asks. "Yes, The feelings grew as we went. I wasn't in love with her from the start. Like I said. I didn't even know who she was. I just went off her feelings, but it was nice being around her. And it grew." Zero says. "So if you fuck up? We all go back to where we came from?" Ichiru asks. "I guess. But I don't plan on fucking up. I don't want to go back there either. What the hell is the point?" Zero says. "Just the bitch you happen to really love." Ichiru. "She isn't a bitch. Confused? Yes. Can't make up her mind Yes. I do still love her. I always will. She is who I was supposed to be with but only because it was written that way. I want to find my own way." Zero says. "This isn't really your own way either. You were pretty much forced to be with Alexa, just to have us."Ichiru states.

"I doubt she would take it away if I said I didn't want to be with her. She isn't the type. I just choose to stay. I love my job, I love my family. I love being here. I am happy. I was never really happy there. " Zero comments. "Did you ever read it till the end?" Ichiru asks. "No, I haven't had time. I will. I guess it really doesn't matter." Zero says. "Shit it says your dead as well. All I can say is don't fuck up. Women get pissy, for revenge, she would send you back. That means the rest of us would have to go to. I dont want to. I like it here as well. I'm not sick, I'm not lame. I have a great job too. Don't fuck this up!" Ichiru says. " I have no intentions of it." Zero replies.

Zero thought about this long and hard for the months he was here. How he didn't want to go back. Everyone would think he was pulled into this, trapped. Yet he was the one in the real control going along with it all on purpose. He wanted what everyone else does. Happiness. Once he got a taste didn't want to let it go.

He keeps getting ready putting on his Tux. Feeling even better that Ichiru now knew the truth. It was great sharing it with someone else.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Ichiru keeps reading the Wiki page, finding out more and more. Reading it to Zero, as they get dressed for the wedding. Ichiru can't even believe half of what he is reading. Yet it does make sense, that he doesn't remember anything from this world as a young child. The more he reads the more it fills in the gaps. He just knows if Zero messes up, he is doomed. So were his mother and father. He wasn't very happy with that. He liked this life. This world. He would have to depend on Zero to make and keep things right.

Which he hated. He knew how Zero could sometimes be unreasonable. And the things he read about Yuki, didn't make him feel much better about this. He felt he would still care about her in the end, which would be all there demise. He couldn't see Zero who was so loyal just leave Yuki behind. Unless this world would change his thinking? He could only hope.

I was at my soon to be inlaws home, getting dressed. To be married to the man, I was obsessed with in many ways. I couldn't believe this was happening. I was getting my dream man literally. In a few hours, I would be Mrs. Kiryu, It meant the world to me. I was his and he was mine. It seems too good to be true. I feel taken over by emotions

Mrs. Kiryu made the house very nice for us. I saw a lot of the decorations and things before going upstairs to get ready. I have to say. She did a great job. I am very thankful to her for all she has done. I am there looking at myself in the mirror, not really sure how this dress is going to look on me. I feel self-conscious about the way I look at the moment. It wouldn't be long before our child was born. It really wasn't the greatest time to get married, but we did want to do it before our son was born. I wanted to make sure at least one thing was done right in our relationship. Since the rest has been one crazy thing after another.

While I am getting dressed, I noticed my girls are not here yet. Joel wasn't very into making them come to the wedding. He hated the idea of everything and wanted to do his best to hurt me. Like I have hurt him. The straw was the pregnancy. I think he hated me most for that. Again I was getting the shit for something, I really didn't think would ever happen. I thought I was in a dream. Last time I checked you don't get pregnant from a dream. Or bring your dream to life. But hey, here we are. Just no one knew that but Zero and I. I was getting a bit upset not seeing them show up. I felt he wasn't going to make them come. I really wanted them here with me. This is a very special day for me, and both of them knew it.

"Hey, What's with the long face. It's your wedding day. I know how much you love my son. So I know its not about that. What's the matter?" Mrs. Kiryu asks.

"My girls. I don't think. Their father is going to make them come today. He is being stubborn." I answer.

"Oh, Don't you worry about him. I want you to stay up here and get dressed. I will be back in a few." Mrs. Kiryu says.

She goes downstairs and goes to her husband.

"I am going to call this jerk. I want you to go to his house and pick up the girls." Mrs. Kiryu says.

"But he may not want them to come." Mr. Kiryu answers.

"He will when I am done talking to him. Go." She says in a firm voice.

"Hello?" Mr.s Kiryu says.

"Who is this?" Joel asks.

"This is Mrs. Kiryu, I am sorry to bother you, but my husband will be picking up your daughters in about ten minutes. So they can see their mother get married." Mrs. Kiryu states.

"I am sorry my girls will not be attending." Joel Answers.

"Yes, they will be. I know your upset about everything that has taken place. I am not so happy with it either. I just know they care about one another. I also know Alexa is a good mother. Your daughters love her and should be here for this. They are old enough to make their own choice. Don't make them hate you for the one your making for them. I promise you. Soon as the wedding is over. I will send them home to you. Just don't hurt them, to hurt her." Mrs. Kiryu comments.

There is a long silence before Joel answers her. "Ok. They will be ready." He responds.

"Thank you." Mrs. Kiryu answers.

Heading back upstairs. "Your girls are on there way. They should be here any minute."Mrs. Kiryu states.

"What did you do?" I ask.

"I put some sense into his head. Sometimes revenge isn't all it's cracked up to be. You hurt people in the middle of it for no reason. Plus he just needs to get over it. If you wanted him, you would have stayed. I guess my son just bewitched you." She giggles.

"You can surely say that. " I laugh.

I put on my flowy long cream beaded dress. I didn't get anything that would hug my body. I place my hair up with curls and let some of it hang in the back. I can't wait to see Zero. It's all I can think about.

It's a beautiful day out with the sun shining brightly. Which is great since we were getting married outside in Mrs. Kiryus garden. It wasn't anything big but that doesn't matter to me. I just want to be his wife. She did as I asked her and kept it small. Only invited a few of her friends from work. It's intimate and special. Just like I wanted.

I walk down the stairs, heading to the garden. Where I see Zero already standing out there. His father next to him. Since he was then going to be the preacher. He got his paper online saying he could do this. He was so proud and happy. We couldn't say no.

I just stare at Zero standing there under the archway filled with white roses baby breath and tulle. He looks gorgeous in his black tux. His silver hair shining in the sunlight. Just looking at him makes my heart skip a beat, and my hands get sweaty.

I walk out to him, smiling as I reach him. He grabs my hands and holds them, as his father says our vows. Which I barely hear. All I do is stare at Zero. My heart beating so fast my chest is pounding. I still can't believe this is happening. Before I know it, its time to kiss the bride. I feel his soft lush lips touch mine. I just tenderly kiss him back. Putting my arms around him. Holding him.

"I love you, "I say.

"I love you too. Are you ok? You seemed a bit far away during the ceremony." Zero asks.

"I am great. I just can't believe its real. I am your wife." I answer.

"Yep, you're stuck with me," Zero responds.

"It's not being stuck. I want to be with you. I always want to be with you." I respond.

"Glad you feel that way. I am sure there will be times, you will want to kill me like every other wife." Zero chuckles.

"Yea. I'm sure that will happen to." I laugh.

The rest of the day goes smoothly. We eat dinner at a gorgeous table that Mrs. Kiryu set up for us. She made it a sit down dinner. There were only about twenty-five people. She serves us traditional Japanese food. A lot of Zero's favorites. Which were new to me. At this point, I am starved so I just sit and eat. The happiest, I have ever been.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Now that it's late at night, Zero and I head out. Saying our goodbyes and thanks to everyone who came to our wedding. I am still in disbelief, that we are married. It will take some time for that to set in.

The Kiryu's gave us a gift, to stay at a hotel for the night. Since it is our wedding night. I am eight and a half months pregnant, so we couldn't go too far. Or do anything major at the moment. It was the only thing, I was a little bummed about. I wanted to show him just how he makes me feel. How crazy he gets me. Being this pregnant, that wouldn't be very possible at the moment.

We get into the car and drive off to the Hotel. I see Zero is happy and smiling. I am glad for this. At least, I know he really wanted to get married and be with me. It was a great feeling. Once we get to the hotel, we go to the desk and get our key. Going up to our room on the elevator I just stay close to him. Laying my head on his shoulder. It nothing knew. I wanted to be, as close to him as I could be. It Didn't have to be sexual. I was happy just laying next to him. Or just watching him. Creepy huh? I guess to a degree, yes, but I am amazed at this man. I am amazed at all of this. I never thought any of this would be true. I have a live actual anime man with me. It's awesome. He was also someone, I been wanting to be with so long. It would take me a while to get over it all. It's only been around four months we were together in the real world. We had so much going on, I haven't really had any time for this to sink in for real yet. I am just hoping that after this child is born, things are calm for a while. I needed less stress as lately its all it seemed to be. One thing after another.

We get to the room, Zero opening the door. Carrying me through the threshold. The Room large with a king size bed, two-night tables a balcony and a large screen tv.

I kiss him lightly just looking into his eyes.

"My dream man," I say.

"I really am that to you? Even knowing me for four months, and seeing my flaws?" Zero asks.

"Yes, I don't see them as flaws, I see them as things that just make you, you." I respond.

"You always say things to make me feel like I can do no wrong." Zero answers.

"To me, you can't. I am sure that will change after being married for a while." I giggle.

Zero just laughs.

"It's been a long day, We should get some rest. I want to cuddle up to you." Zero responds.

"I want tonight to be special. I just don't think. I can do all that I want to you, like this. " I admit.

"You don't have to. I want to make you feel good. After our son is born, I will take a raincheck, to all you want to do to me." Zero replies.

"That sounds good. I am just not sure we will have time for that then. We will have to take care of the baby. I don't want us to lose ourselves in it though." I state.

"We won't. Once your back to yourself, we will let my mom take care of him, So we can have a night out just me and you. Maybe even a weekend away to have a honeymoon." Zero responds.

"That sounds wonderful, See thats why you can't do any wrong to me. You always do something so nice." I reply.

I head to the bathroom, taking a hot steamy shower, washing myself all up. I place a cream lacy nightie on. Knowing it must look ridiculous with my current shape. I just smile though, knowing our child is inside me growing. Its what was most important. I just never got to really show Zero how I felt about him as myself. Soon as this baby would be born and I would be myself. I would for sure.

I head to the bed, Zero already laying in bed wearing just his black boxers. Waiting for me to get done. He was more experienced with sex now. Since he has been in this world with me, he came after me when he wanted it. Not afraid or shy. He was very comfortable with me with that. It was good. I loved him coming after me. It made me feel wanted.

I crawl in bed and lay next to him. His arms wrapping around me. I just push my back up close against him. Wanting to feel him close. He rubs his hands all over me. Pushing the nightie up so he has access to my bottom half. That he rubs. He places light tender kisses on my neck, working his way down to my back. I can't help myself but moan. His touches are so gentle, as he caresses my stomach, moving his way up to my breast.

My hands reach behind my side, rubbing his side. As I am on my side with my back towards him to give him more access to my body. Without my large stomach being in the way. I want to touch him more, but I don't have that much reach. I can rub his manhood which I do, feeling it grow and get hard. His body, moving up against mine. As he rubs his manhood on me, sliding it inside of me. He goes slow and very gentle. It's like he feels if he goes too hard, he will hurt me. He is very cautious not to hurt our child. Just at the moment, I need him to be harder. I need him to move like he normally does. I see he isn't. He is taking it slow, which only makes me crazier with desire for him. My want building more and more. I start moving my body, harder into him. Showing him, just how I want it.

"Babe, are you sure?"Zero asks.

"Yes, Please. I need you." I respond.

Zero takes the cue, and pushes in a bit harder, letting me lead the way. Feeling that I knew what felt good at the moment, and what wouldn't hurt. I keep pushing up against him, till I let loose and so does he. He stays inside of me, and he holds me close.

"I didn't want to hurt you or the baby," Zero says out of breath.

"I know. You didn't. I won't break Zero. You just make me crazy, I can't control how you make me feel." I answer.

"Good, It's hot making you lose your shit and me knowing, I am the cause of it." Zero smirks.

"Aren't you full of yourself." I giggle.

"Yea, someone is always telling me, I can't do any wrong in their eyes. It tends to bring out the beast in me." Zero replies.

"Uh Huh. or maybe the butt in you?" I Laugh.

"Hey. You already knew what I was. You said you loved it remember?" Zero says.

"Yes, and I do. In every way."I respond.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

It's been a few weeks, since our honeymoon, Zero has been wonderful. At this point, I am just very tired and need all the rest I can get I think all the stress and everything the last few months has gotten to me. It seems all I want to do is sleep. I am glad we made love on our honeymoon since it was the last time for a while. He always seems to make things special. His parents have been nice sending over food and even letting Zero come home early from work, so he is here in case, I go into labor. Next week is my due date but for me, I always seem to go a week early so we are just waiting and watching to see what happens.

"Zero I am going to go to bed, can you please let me know when Joel takes the girls home. It's getting late and I worry." I say.

"Don't worry about a thing, I will take care of it. I want you to go upstairs and get as much rest as you can. Ichiru is going to come over and spend some time with me. We will both wait for the girls. Briana seems to love Ichiru." Zero states.

"Yea she always has, I never understood it. She didn't like you but liked your twin? She said he was different than you. For me when I see him, in person I see you. Which I have to say is kind of weird." I chuckle.

"Yea, i saw you staring at him when you first met him, it was like you were trying to see the difference in us." Zero laughs.

"I was, the only thing, I saw was the tattoo and the hair length. To me though no one could be you but you. Your just special to me." I answer.

"I'm glad. Go get some rest, I will be up after Ichiru goes home and the girls are here." Zero responds.

I go upstairs and lay in our bed which takes me no time to fall asleep. This isn't new to me as two days before I had my last child, all I wanted to do was sleep. I was fine once I had her though,so I hope the same thing happens now.

Zero stays downstairs waiting for Ichiru also knowing that it's getting late and Joel hasn't taken the girls home yet. Zero isn't happy with Joel as he sees him always trying to make Alexa unhappy. Anything to upset her, with the girls he has done lately.

"Hey, Bro. I took over some pizza and beer. I thought we would watch the game and eat." Ichiru states.

"Sounds good, I need to call her ex first though. He hasn't brought the girls home yet and it's getting late. He has been a real asshole lately. " Zero responds.

"He isn't happy you took his life, his wife, his kids. I thought hearing she was having your child made him go away." Ichiru says.

"It did for a bit till we got married. He was trying to hurt her by keeping the kids away on our wedding day, just mom fixed it. Now here and there he has been a real ass. He knows its just a matter of time she goes into labor. " Zero remarks.

"What a douche, Give him a call. Let's see what he has to say." Ichiru responds.

"I'm Going to text him." Zero states.

Zero: 8.00 Pm: When are you taking the girls home, your already two hours late? They have school tomorrow.

Joel: 8:03: Where is Alexa? Shouldn't she be asking this and not you? Since they are our children.

Zero: 8:05: She is tired and went to bed. She asked me to take care of it. SHe is nine months pregnant.

Joel: 8:08: HOw could I forget! The girls are not coming home this week. I am sure, she will go into labor...she always goes a week ahead. My daughters don't need to be there for this. When she goes to the hospital, you will leave them alone or only call me anyway. This way they are already with me. They will return after your child is born and she comes home to take care of it. I don't want them alone with you.

"Zero: 8:11: Really? First, you tell me this now? Why couldn't you call and let us know? Second I would never hurt your girls. I like them a lot. I know this hasn't been easy but you're taking it too far.

Joel: 8:13 Don't worry about me, Take care of your now wife. You wouldn't want your children there alone with a stranger. I still don't know where she picked you up from. None of this is like her, you changed her in every way.

Zero: 8:15 Good night Joel. I will see the girls after Our son is born.

"That bastard. He is keeping them till after the baby is born. Saying he doesn't want them near me. He has a lot of nerve." Zero says.

"Maybe that is a good thing. He is trying to be a dick, but that gives you two some time alone. When she goes into labor you won't have to worry about them. He wants to play let him. They are not babies, he doesn't have that long to do this. Plus from what I read it was more like a pissing contest."Ichiru admits.

"I know but in the meantime, he is a real pain in the ass. He could have had the decency to at least tell us this beforehand. Not making us go after him." Zero replies.

"What fun would that be?" Ichiru chuckles.

"None of its fun when it involves children. He should know better. He needs to get over that she doesn't want him." Zero huffs.

"Yes, all that is true, but you also need to see it from his point of view. You are just a stranger with two young girls. There are a lot of sickos around. He doesn't know who you really are or what you're about. You wouldn't be too happy handing your children over to him either. Also, when it came to Kaname, you were the same way. Just the site of him made you pissed off." Ichiru comments.

"That makes a lot of sense. I just never had to deal with any of this before. In the other life, there was Kaname and vampire stuff. Not this. Not fighting over children." Zero admits.

"Heh, it was easier there huh?" Ichiru says.

"I guess on somethings." Zero replies.

After a few hours, Ichiru goes home and Zero locks up heading to bed. He sees Alexa laying in bed sleeping peacefully. He hates to disturb her. She feels him move around getting into bed.

"Zero did the girls come home?" I ask.

"No babe, Joel is going to keep them this week, in case you go into labor. I thought it was a great idea. We don't have to worry about them." Zero answers.

"Ok, They are ok though? Everything is fine?" I say.

"Yes, everything is great. Soon as the baby is home, they will come back." Zero answers.

I snuggle up to Zero holding on to him tightly. I love being close to him. I knew something was up and Zero didn't want to upset me. I knew Joel was being an ass. Just at the moment, I was in no way able to do anything. I had to take care of the child that was inside me. I knew Joel wouldn't do anything to hurt our children. It was just to bother me and Zero. Let him play his games. The hard parts of this were almost over. I have been Zero's wife for a few weeks now and I loved it. Nothing could beat being with someone you truly love. Granted this didn't go the way we wanted or planned. Then most things never did that were worth fighting for.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

The next morning, I wake up in Zero's arms. I see he didn't go to work, which in a way I am glad. I know that any time now. I can go into labor. I would prefer him here with me. I don't want him to miss a thing, since this may be the only child, I am able to give to him. I snuggle up to his warm chest, my tummy in the way for now. Soon we will get to meet our beautiful child. All this is still surreal to me even after nine months of going through all this. I am carrying and going to have Zero Kiryu's child. It took my breath away.

The thought of him leaving, or going back to his real life always enters my mind. I am still scared as fast as this happened it could all leave. It's not like, I have any idea how it happened or how its suppose to go. Which leaves me with tons of questions. Ones I just try to let go and enjoy the time I have with him. I love him and that hasn't changed a bit in the last few months. If anything, I have gotten closer to him now really knowing and being with him.

From what I see, Zero seems happy being here, He doesn't mention Yuki or his past life at all. He seems to take one day at a time here. He is very calm, and level headed. Even happy at times, with smiles and joking around. Especially when he is around Ichiru. I think out of everything that I have given him, that seems to be the most special to him. He loves spending time with him and being adult brothers. Ichiru is a lot of fun, he just says things the way it is, even more bluntly then Zero. I think he gets that from his mother.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Zero asks.

"I am doing ok. Thank you for staying home. It's nice having you here with me. I don't want you to miss a thing." I reply.

" I have no intentions of missing anything. I can't wait to meet our son. Who we need to think of a name for. I think our time is running out." Zero states.

"Yea true. What do you like? I would love to name him after you but Zero isn't a regular name here." I respond.

"I think a regular American name would be fine. I see your point about Zero. When I tell my clients at work my name some just look at me, but in Japanese my name is rei. Which means Zero."

"While you have been here what American names do you like? I ask.

"I guess a few of them. William, Connor, Nicholas. Do you like any of them?" Zero responds.

"Yes, they are all nice. I want you to name him. I have two other children and I have done this before. You haven't." I comment.

"We are doing this together, not just me. I love that you always think about my feelings and are always trying to make me happy. I just want you to be happy as well." Zero responds.

"I am. Very happy just being with you. Its been one hell of a ride so far. I just know everything that you went through before. It just bothers me you had so much pain in your life. You're so kind-hearted. So good. You don't deserve that at all." I reply.

"It's just the way things go, here I have come so far. I am so far from that Zero, I was at Cross. There is no hatred for vampires, No sadness for losing my family. I don't suffer from needing blood, all that pain just from turning into a vampire. I feel so free, so happy. I feel things, I never felt there at all. I don't feel so cold and empty inside anymore and all that is thanks to you. I will never be able to repay you for all this." Zero mentions.

"I just don't want you to feel that you owe me because of it, or that you need to be with me because of it. That's not why I wished for all this." I answer

"I know, I am with you because I want to be. I can say. I am truly happy just where I am." Zero replies.

"I am very happy to hear that. What took place last night with Joel? What is the real reason he isn't letting the girls come home now?" I ask.

Zero just looks at me not really wanting to say, but he wants to keep things honest between us. At the same time, he doesn't want to bring me pain.

"He didn't want the girls to be left alone with me while you're at the hospital." Zero states.

"Really? Wow. He still doesn't trust my judgment. Then if I really think about it, it's just his jealousy doing all this. He is just using the girls. "I reply.

"Don't worry about it, things will be fine. He will get over it sooner or later." Zero answers.

"I hope so," I answer. Kissing Zero tenderly on his lips.

His hand brushes up against my cheek. His touch makes me feel peaceful.

"I think we should get up and get some breakfast. Are you hungry?" Zero asks.

"Yes always," I answer.

Zero gets up from the bed, heading out the door to go downstairs to get us some food. I get up from the bed, wanting to follow him down. When all of a sudden a gush of water falls to the floor. I know right away what is happening. I try to stay calm but even though this is my third child I am still a little freaked. Following the gush, I am now in full pain. The contractions coming swiftly.

"Zero," I Yell.

"What babe?" Zero Yells back from downstairs.

I take a seat on the bed, not able to stand the pain is strong. I just try to take deep breaths to help with the pain. It hurts so badly that I can barely answer Zero. Which he notices and comes back upstairs.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Zero says.

"I'm in labor. We need to go to the hospital now. I don't think it's going to be long. As you can see my water broke." I reply.

"Ok, don't panic. Let me grab that bag. I didn't start any breakfast but the coffee. I will turn the pot off." Zero starts mumbling to himself.

I can see he is very nervous and trying to contain it, so I don't notice. Which just brings a smile to my face. He is so cute. He grabs my bag and me. Helping me down the stairs and into the car. 

"Are you ok? How are you feeling?" Zero asks.

"They are coming fast and hard Zero. I don't think we have much time," I answer squeezing his hand.

Zero drives fast to the hospital which luckily is only five minutes away. Zero parks and helps me out of the car, bringing us both to the doors of the hospital. We walk up to the front desk.

"My Wife is in labor can you help us?" Zero says.

"Sure, What's her name? I will get her a wheelchair and you both need to go up to the maternity ward. "The Front desk answers.

"Alexa Kiryu is her name," Zero says.

I sit in the wheelchair doing my best to go with the pain. As Zero puts us both in the elevator to go up to the maternity ward. He just holds my hand as we go up to each floor. I can see his nerves written all over his face.

We get up the ward and the nurse tells Zero to wheel me to the room on the left. We both go in and Zero helps me into the bed as a nurse comes in to check me. I hate this part, but its just part of it all. When she checks me, she knows right away the baby will be here in no time.

"Wow, you two got here in the nick of time. You are already dilated 10. Its time to push.

There is no time for an epidural this will be fully natural. There was no time for anything, to be honest, things were happening so fast. Zero holds my hand and I start pushing, which only takes about four pushes and I hear our baby start to cry.

"Zero he is here. Is he ok?" I ask.

This whole nine months, all I did was worry if this child would be ok. This wasn't a normal encounter at all. I was expecting all kinds of things to go wrong. He was produced in an anime world then brought to life here. Would everything be normal? Or would there be things we couldn't explain? I never brought that up to Zero, not wanting to make him upset or worry. I knew he had a lot going on just getting used to being here.

"He is fine, he is 7 pounds 8 oz. "Zero says.

"Does he look ok?" I ask.

At first, Zero just looks at me, then he gets what I mean.

"Yes, everything is fine." He replies taking him over to me and placing him in my arms.

Was he ever so right, this little baby was perfect in every way. He was a regular human baby. Everything in the right places. His eyes shimmer lavender just like his dad's. His peach fuzz hair is the lightest of brown. He is a combination of us both. He is gorgeous.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

As I look at this child, I just smile, no matter what happens, he is worth it. I just hold him in my arms wanting to give him everything. This tiny person in the few minutes he has been here he has made me ever so happy.

I just stare at Zero, who is watching this little baby as well. I see the aww written all over his face. He touches his toes and fingers just amazed at how tiny he is. How much he looks just like him. There was no denying it was his child. Which I have to say, I was glad, since his mother was being a real bitch before. No matter how nice she has been the last few weeks, I will never forget some of the things she said to me. All she has to do is take one look at this baby and know it's her sons. The eyes alone are a dead giveaway. No one else has Lavender eyes. It's very rare.

"Zero, I know, I said we should pick an American name but now that I see him. I want him to have your name. I know it may cause some teasing in years to come, but maybe we can just call him ZJ. There isn't anything different about that. I will leave it up to you though. " I say.

"I was thinking the same after seeing him. I can't believe he is mine. He is perfect in every way. I want to be here for him always." Zero states.

I just smile at him wanting the same. Hoping that no matter what occurs in the future, he gets to watch this little boy grow up into a man.

Zero gets on his phone and calls his family letting them know that the child was born. I also call my daughters letting them know that their little brother is finally here. Zero's parents come to the hospital to visit. His mother just looks at the baby and smiles. Never mentioning her worries that she had before. She just holds him and is happy like the rest of us. When we tell her we are naming after him, she is very excited and happy about that as well. Understanding why we would call him ZJ. She likes it and thinks it's cute. Zero Jr. That way he has apart of his father. Being proud to be a Kiryu. Which his mother also liked that I was keeping it Japenese. I wasn't Japenese that was another thing, I thought for sure she would have said something about. She just surprised me not saying it to my face. I am sure Zero heard about it many times. How he should stay in his culture. He just seemed to take everything in and let it go. He was happy with having all his family alive and safe. He also knew if it wasn't for me, that would never be. In many ways, he was stuck in a rock and hard place. Which is normally how it is with in-laws. Some get good ones some get ones from hell. It's a gamble. Then so is life.

After a few days, I get to go home with my little tike. Who I am just in love with. I never thought. I could love someone more than I love Zero, but this little guy proved that wrong. I just adore him. Not that I don't my other two children. I love them with all my heart. This was just my last, I am planning on doing everything, I didn't get to with the other two. Plus, I'm older and a little wiser and with a man, I love dearly. It was special all the way around.

Once home, Zero is all over the baby, giving him special attention. He loves to feed and rock him. He just spends hours holding him. It's a wonderful site to see. We give all our attention to this little baby. In a way, I am glad Joel was being an ass. This way it's just us as a family. I don't have to worry about my girls being left out or feeling bad. It's just Zero, me and the baby. Giving us time to just be us, which we never really are. I knew things would go back to normal next week when Joel let the girls come home. Then it was there turn to take in the little guy. For right now he was all ours.

As time goes on, the baby gets bigger. The last few months flying by fast. Zero went back to work after two weeks of staying home with us. It was weird once he went back. I stay home now and take care of the little one. Zero prefers it. Not wanting to leave the baby with anyone except me or his mother. Who just dotes on him. Things have calmed down and we turned into a regular family. It was what I was hoping for. Zero comes home from work and we sit down as a family and have our dinner. My girls telling about school, Zero about work and me about my day. It's regular and calm. Just the way I like it. I have noticed, that When Zero has the time he reads the manga. Finding out a little more about his former life. He hasn't gotten to the point of Yuki turning yet. It's taking him time to get through it. Where when I read it, it took me no time. Yet, it wasn't my real life flashing in front of me. I see some of it bringing him down. I am sure he relived where his mother and father were murdered. I am also sure it brings up times he spent with her. Which only makes me feel bad.

One night after dinner, Zero sits down on the sofa to read some of the Manga, he is at the point where she turns and leaves with Kaname. Which I See flames coming out of his head.

"Zero, if this is going to make you upset, maybe you shouldn't read it. It's not just a story to you. It's your past." I say.

"I'm Fine. " He grumbles.

"You don't seem fine. You seem pissed. She still gets to you." I snap.

"Yea she does. How could she just leave with him? Leave me and go like that. I will never understand it." Zero says.

"What did it matter now if she did stay? You're here with me. I guess if she didn't leave with Kaname, you wouldn't have come here." I say. Getting up and walking away.

"Babe, Please. I didn't mean it that way. "Zero replies.

I don't answer him. At this point, I am tired of worrying that he will change his mind and leave me. That one day, he will wake up and want to return to her. Its something, I will always live with, even after the birth of our son. I still fear it. Him reading the manga and getting pissed doesn't help my cause at all. Just makes me wonder even more.

Zero follows me upstairs to bed, trying to say that he is sorry.

"Babe, look I can't help how it makes me feel." Zero states.

"You still have feelings for her, maybe its too early for you to read this. Maybe in the future. Not now." I respond.

"I want to know what happens. I want to know it all. What would happen if I didn't come here." Zero answers.

My heart falls to the floor. I just try not to let him know that.

"A lot happens, Most you won't like, and it's not the way you think," I respond.

"She married freakin Kaname doesn't she? She stays with him!" Zero snaps.

"No, I don't want to explain it through how I saw it. I do think its better if you read it yourself." I answer.

Not wanting to say Kaname died, not like that made you rid of him. She still cared about him and took 70 years to go with you and make a family. And that damn pureblood/ hunter crap was in your way but you got the girl and then died. Her giving her heart to Kaname in the end. I keep all that to myself. Not sure how he would feel hearing any of that. That he did get her, even though it wasn't exactly in the best way. He still was with her for years and years. Just getting Kaname's seconds...No matter how I would explain it, it was just better he read it himself and took from it what he needed to. Not my opinion or anyone else's. I was biased. I felt he deserved more, A lot more.

"I will do my best not to get upset while reading the rest. I need to know what took place. I am finally at the point where I left. Everything from here will be new for me." Zero answers.

"I know this is hard for you. I just want you to remember even though for you its real, its really just someones story. It goes the way they want it to. What we have here right now is real."I say.

"I know." Zero replies.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

A few more months have gone by, Our son is now nine months old. He looks so much like Zero it's scary. The only difference is the hair color. It's light but brownish, which he got from me. He is growing up nicely. Everything is on point with a normal child. I do my best to take notice, making sure everything is like its suppose to be. He is starting to want to walk, and even saying some words.

Zero is a wonderful father giving him tons of attention and time. He makes sure, that when he is home, ZJ is his everything. I always knew that Zero would be a great father. He is so kind and loving. I couldn't ask for anything more in that department.

I noticed after the night Zero got pissed, when reading the Manga he stays away from it for a bit. When he did go back to it here and there. He tries not to let me know, that any of what he reads is truly bothering him. I understand that he wants to know what happens. That he needs to know, at the same time, I feel if he was happy here he wouldn't care. I have mixed emotions. I just keep everything in and to myself. Our relationship otherwise is very good. Everything on other accounts has settled down.

We go once a week for dinner at his parent's house, as his mother asked. Just everything is normal and peaceful when we go there. They give ZJ a lot of attention, loving on him not to mention spoiling him rotten. It is their first and only grandchild. Ichiru still lives with them. I have gotten a lot more comfortable around him now. We have become good friends. He is also a great uncle to all of my children, excepting my daughters as well as Zero's son. Mrs. Kiryu has also done the same, treating them well and with respect. She also never mentioned me taking a test again to prove Zero was the father. She has calmed down in a lot of ways. Making life a bit easier, which I am very thankful for.

My daughters have gotten used to them all now. Even my younger one finds it cool to hang out with them. Still not fully understanding how any of this is possible. Which she isn't the only one. We still wonder the same thing.

Ichiru even confided in me that Zero told him the truth, about the anime and everything else. He is looking into how this could be. If it will change anything or if they would have to return at any time. He is leary about Zero, I can see it, even though he hasn't said it. I know, Ichiru doesn't want to return. There really would be no point for him too. He has no life there, his plotline ended and it was over. Where here in real life it was just beginning. He was reading into a lot of things and trying to talk to older Japenese people, asking questions. He hasn't told me his findings as yet, so I feel he hasn't found out much. I am sure when he does, he will let me know. We never told Zero anything about this.

Ichiru didn't want him to know just yet. Ichiru had mixed feelings about Zero reading the Manga. He also understood, why he wanted to know and he also knew what took place. Since he already read the whole thing plus the memories editions. Unlike Zero, Ichiru didn't care what happened. Once he found out he was dead and Zero had to devour him, the rest was just a story and plot to him as well. He didn't feel or have the connection that Zero has to it. He surely didn't care anything about Yuki or Kaname. He knew that Kaname died and Yuki has his child. He knew that would brother Zero. He was just worried about what he would feel about Kaname know longer being around. Ichiru thought about a lot of things. Just as a did. We just kept them to ourselves. Both having our worries for different reasons.

Mine was fear of losing the man, I loved dearly. The life we have built, that I have given up everything, I ever knew for. I had fear if he went away did that mean our son did? Did that mean Ichiru and his family did as well? That was what Ichiru was worried about. His life as he currently knew it, going away for good. Vanishing into thin air just like it appeared. Taking away his parents, home and job. All the things in the last eighteen months that he has had, that he had gotten used to.

There were many unanswered questions, we all had. We were sure that Zero felt the same, but like always, he always kept his feelings to himself. Doing this best not to let on, how he really felt. Some because it hurt him deeply and other reasons because it would hurt the people around him. That about him never changed.

He figured if he went back to Yuki everything that started here would be over. He wondered the same things, that I did and even Ichiru, with also having his own questions on top of those.

I felt if there was a way of keeping his family members alive, his son safe, would he then have the reasons he needed to go back to her? Would he? Even though he wouldn't be here with us, he would know that life for them and our son would go on without him. It scared me.

I never have felt like this before. Scared someone would leave me? In my other marriage, that never even crossed my mind. I was very comfortable, and secure in the relationship. This one not so much. Everything in my other marriage was normal and like a regular one. We had the love and as time went on, it faded. Our priorities were our children and the life we built. We got comfortable in everyday life. In the life we made together, there were no worries like this. None of Cheating , being or wanting someone else. No worries about leaving. No worries about regrets. In this marriage, I feared it all. The love I feel for Zero, I never even knew could exist. The emotions and feelings he makes me feel, are like none before. If he would leave me, I would fall apart. I hate this feeling, I hate being like this. It came with the good and also the bad. I have never been this vulnerable before in my whole life.

When I remember reading parts of the manga, how Zero loved and longed for Yuki, it makes me feel, I just took him away from the love of his life. That may be even in this world, he is supposed to be with her. If that is true or not, I do not know. It's just how I feel sometimes. I look at him, so happy with the time we are sharing. That I even got this far to be with him. I hope it never ends, I hope he doesn't resent me. I hope so many things.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

It's been a few more months, Zero and I have been fine. I have noticed every now and then, he goes back to read parts of the manga. He just tries to keep his emotions to himself. Not letting on if something is really bothering him or not. I see he doesn't have time to read it daily, so it's only when he has time. Here and there. It still bothers me but I let it go knowing he feels, he needs to know what is going on. Our relationship seems to be fine without it hurting us. Unless he is hiding that as well? I don't know. I can just hope.

I lay there in bed, watching tv one night, while Zero is in the basement on his computer. He likes to spend time down there. I try to give him as much alone time as I can. Knowing he likes it. I try not to be clingy even though, I love being around him, he is my husband now so I don't have the need to always be around him. I need my time alone as well. It's good for the relationship to grow. I don't feel he will disappear like I use to. Which helps me let go some.

The baby is in bed sleeping, he is getting big. He is already a year old. The time just seems to fly by. Life with Zero has been interesting, to say the least. I love knowing that every morning I wake up to him, and every night I go to bed next to him. It makes me extremely happy. I don't regret any choices, I have made so far. I just hope he feels the same. I do see he is still a lot like in the Manga. He keeps a lot of his feelings to himself. Not only from reading his former life but even things that are happening in this one. It seems that is just how he is. It's part of him.

He spends a lot of time with me and our child. He is very loving and caring. Still the good man, he has always been. A good son, husband, and father. During the time we spend together that hasn't changed at all. We still enjoy talking and being together, that hasn't faded either. The sex hasn't died. I promised myself that I wouldn't let it. I got a chance to be with a man I find irresistible. I wasn't going to let that die or fade. We might not have time to make love every night or all the time with having a family, but I make sure to at least make love to him as often as I can. It still is very hot. I still crave him as if it was the first time. His touch still sets me a flame.

As I am laying there watching tv, Zero comes up into our bedroom from downstairs. I see something is wrong, I just am not sure what it is. Zero just looks at me getting into bed, Pulling me close to him.

"You want me the same as you always have?" Zero asks.

"Of course," I answer, not sure what is wrong.

Zero pushes me close to his body, his arms around me.

"You wouldn't ever want to make love to someone else would you?" Zero asks.

"No, I am very happy with being with you. You make me crazy. Zero what is going on?" I say.

"I will make sure, you never want anyone else ever. That even if you tried, you would think about me." Zero states.

Pulling my body down with his on top of mine. He starts kissing me passionately with me falling into the kiss. I am not sure what is wrong but my want for him has never changed. He is all I desire. He starts taking off my pink floral pjs. Unbuttoning the top and sliding my bottoms off my legs. He kisses up my leg as he moves his body back onto mine. Kissing my neck and down to my breast. He lightly caresses them, as he sucks on my nipple. Making me moan and want more of his touch. He kisses down my stomach, to my pelvis which he kisses and licks. Holding my hands down, so I can't touch him. Which only makes me crazy inside.

I hunger to touch his body, to kiss his lips. I feel the burning build up inside of me, as his tongue touches my clit. My body pushes its way up, not able to control, how it feels. His licks send shivers throughout my body. He holds my hands together with one of his hands, As the other hand is working my lower half over. Sliding one finger at a time inside me, as his tongue does the rest. I can't control my body or my moans. As he goes deeper with each finger thrust and licks. I feel myself getting closer to the edge, where I scream out his name. My whole body shaking underneath him. His Hand doing it's best to hold down my thighs.

"I am going to make you scream out my name all night. Never letting you forget who is making you feel like this. Do you understand me." Zero says.

"Yes. Zero I love you. I answer out of breath.

My whole body still tingling from his touch. I want and need more of him and he knows it. He has never done this before and I am still not sure what has gotten into him, but I am sure enjoying moves his body up mine giving me a long kiss, I want to wrap my body around his, but he won't let me. He turns me over on my tummy pushing my legs to hang over the bed.

"Spread em." Zero orders.

I do as I am told. There wasn't much, I wouldn't do that he told me. He made me crazy. He lays his body on top of mine, lifting my hair up to the side, so he has access to my neck and back. Which he sucks and kisses on my earlobe, moving down my neck to my back. Placing butterfly kisses all the way down my back, Making my button lift up wanting him. I can't stop moaning from his touch and he hasn't done anything to me yet. I am so hot. I feel I will lose it at any minute. He wasn't even inside me yet, just his body on top of mine and the thought of what was to come. Was making me crazy.

He kisses down my back to my tailbone, His body sliding down and off of mine. The loss of his warmth making me sad. I feel his hands spread my ass cheeks rubbing and squeezing them. Making my lower half move wanting more. Needing more.

"You want me?" Zero asks. Smacking my ass.

"Yes. Zero YES." I respond.

"Good, I am going to make you beg for me. If you don't beg you don't get it. " Zero answers.

Rubbing his hand between my ass down to my core. Sliding a finger inside.

"You're soaked already." He states.

"You make me crazy. I need you." I respond.

"You're going to need me even more." Zero replies.

Rubbing his hard large member between my bottom lips. Going up and down. Teasing the hole but not entering it. I push my core up against him, wanting him to enter but he doesn't. He just keeps teasing me. He places his body on mine again sucking on my neck. Sliding his hands under me to rub my breasts as he slides his manhood on my bottom lips. My body rises up slapping into his. Feeling his balls hit my core, makes me rub myself up against him even more. I am squeezing the sheets and trying to keep from screaming. Needing him to enter me.

"Zero Please," I say.

"Please what? Is there something you want? You need?" He whispers seductively in my ear. Nipping at it.

"God I need you Please," I answer.

"Need what?" he asks.

"I need you inside me. I need you to pound me Now. Please, Zero stop teasing me." I beg.

"Is someone hot?" Zero asks sliding his hand down to my center. Feeling it even wetter than before.

"Yes. I want you. Please." I say. He was making me lose my mind and he knew it.

Zero rubs his manhood against me again, placing it at my entrance. Rubbing it at my hole, sliding in slow and gentle. Making my body quiver with want. He slides himself all the way in stopping. His control is unbelievable, where at this point I have none. I am lost in lust and desire for him. I need him to move to pound into me. I need to feel him. I move my lower half trying to move, I need the friction.

"Zero Move! Damn you, Fuck me!" I demand. Not able to control myself any longer.

"If that is what you want. Its what I needed to hear." Zero responds.

Pulling all the way out and sliding into me again. This time not gentle at all. He pounds himself into me hard. Going fast. My body moving just as fast to meet his thrusts. His hands on my waist pushing me into him harder and harder. You could hear our bodies slapping into each other making crude sounds echoing the walls. He keeps slamming into me until I just shudder. My walls tightening around him, letting him go at the same time.

Zero then falls to the bed on the side of me, trying to catch his breath. I roll over placing my head on his chest.

"What was that all about?" I ask.

"Just what I said. I don't want you to ever think about anyone else." Zero states.

"Why would I ever? Do you know you're my fantasy man? You're the only one. I ever want." I explain.

"I hope so," Zero Responds.

"You can see how you turn me on? How much I want you?" I say.

"Yes, I got that. It was incredible. I just want you to always feel that way. to never need someone else to make you feel that way or want someone to make you feel that way." Zero comments.

"I will. You have nothing to worry about." I answer Holding him tight.

I kiss his lips and place my arms even tighter around him. lifting my leg and placing it up over his. I love being this close to him. I just wonder what has gotten into him. Why would he think, I would want someone else? I haven't done anything to show that I would.

Zero falls asleep but I don't. I just keep wondering what the hell that was about. Granted it was hot. It was like the sex we had at Cross. Maybe even better.

I get up, not able to sleep and go downstairs to get a cup of tea. While I am making the tea, I figure. I will put some clothes in the washer to get them done for today. I go down into the basement seeing Zero's computer. I can't help my self but go over there and look. I see he has made it to the chapter where Yuki sleeps with Kaname.

So thats what this was all about. Her sleeping with him. Zero thinks I may do the same to him? I would never. He is my everything. This meant he still had feelings for her, that it bothered him. She was still in the middle of our lives and I was afraid she always would be.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

I sit there and wonder, what Zero was feeling? Figuring, he must have really been upset. It seems to have gotten to him but in a different way, then I am thinking. He came to me, not wanting me to be with someone else. Wanting to make sure, I would only want him. I guess in a way trying not to make things repeat themselves. Not wanting to have another Kaname on his hands. The thing is, he didn't have to worry about that. That wasn't me. I knew, what I wanted and who I wanted. Which was him and only him. It just looks like he felt as vulnerable as I did. I just knew he had nothing to worry about, for me, I always wondered.

If he had the chance to be with Yuki again. Would he take it? If he knew his family would stay alive, and his child would be safe, would he leave me and go back to her? That stayed with me all this time. I couldn't help but think about it. I knew I wasn't his first choice, that all this just happened and he went along with it for some reason. Was it love? I doubted it. How could he love me at the start when he didn't even really know me. It was the life he fell in love with, having his family back. I might have been in love with him, but I wasn't totally blind. I just wanted him so badly, that I let everything go.

THings were harder now, he wasn't just a fantasy or dream. He was real and my husband. If he left me now, it would hurt even more. I had a lot more to lose. If I got to keep our son, I would have to raise him alone, I gave up everything from my other life. I have nothing but what Zero and I have built together. He was the one that could just step back into Cross. Granted that would mean, he would have to leave his family and our son behind. I just didn't want that to be the only reason he was with me. I hoped deep down, he loved me.

I did see that tonight. He had to have some feelings for me. Not wanting me to be with anyone else. Wanting me to only dream and think about him. It made me feel good.

I don't head back to bed. I just go to take my shower before everyone else wakes up. My mind was racing too fast for me to get any sleep. That also meant I was going to have one long day. I would have to try to take a nap when I would put ZJ down in the afternoon.

I go to our room and pick up a clean pair of panties jeans and a top. Feeling I should just get ready for the day. I go into the bathroom and start the shower water, stepping into the tub. I let the warm water run down my body taking some of the stress away.

While I am standing there, I hear the door open. I stand there and peek through the glass door, seeing Zero. I just smile at him and he smiles back. I shut the door feeling, he was just there to probably pee. It wasn't the first time he came into the bathroom while I was in there.

When all of a sudden, he opens the door and steps in butt naked. Even though. I have seen his sexy body a lot over the time we spent together, I can never get enough of it.

"I thought you could use some company," Zero says.

"With you always. I thought you would be sleeping. You need the rest before work."I answer.

"I will be fine. I told you, I was going to make you want me and think of only me. I am not done with that." Zero answers.

Pushing my wet body to his. I kiss him deeply as my hands go up and down his now wet body. I want to touch him everywhere as before I couldn't. My lips can't stop kissing him, as he picks me up letting my legs wrap around him. I wasn't letting go. My hands roam his hair as my lips devour his. My mind is hazy with all the pleasure he gives me. He doesn't make me beg or plead this time. He just enters me fast and hard, he sees that I won't let go and he holds on to me as well. Pushing my body back onto the wet white tile wall for support. He keeps slamming into me, making me moan into his kiss. My hands now going down his back, with my nails running up and down. We break the kiss just to get some air, just to return to it deeper and stronger than the last.

When we let go, the feeling is unbelievable taking over both our bodies. He places my body down into the shower holding me close to him. Both of us trying to catch our breath, as my heart is beating out of my chest. I feel closer to him now than I ever have. I just want to hold him like this forever.

"Zero I love you," I say in a low voice.

"I love you too. I do need to get dressed for work though." Zero chuckles.

"I don't want you to leave," I answer.

"I will be home early. I see my plan is working?" He says with a smirk.

"You don't need a plan. I always felt this way about you. Whatever doubts you have, I want you to push away. I want to be with you for the rest of my life." I respond.

"I was just making sure you still felt that way. That you didn't regret leaving your husband for me. Am I still all you thought, I would be?" Zero asks.

"Even more. I don't regret any of it. I just wish it would have happened sooner." I reply.

Zero just smiles at me, giving me another kiss. We both get out of the shower and get dressed. I go downstairs to start breakfast as he checks on our son. The girls getting up and getting ready for school. It was the start of a regular day. I just now saw that Zero did care, more than I thought he did. He had the same fears and doubts that I had. Just for different reasons.

He comes downstairs to get his morning coffee, placing our son in his highchair. The girls getting there food and lunch before heading to school. Zero just grabs me and kisses me passionately on the lips. I kiss back not wanting to let go.

"Ok, you two thats gross. Get a grip." Briana says, walking out the door.

I just laugh at her statement and so does Zero.

"I will see you later tonight. Keep me in your thoughts." Zero says.

"I always do. Please be safe. I love you." I reply

" I love you too." He answers.

Zero goes to work, taking a seat at his desk. Just sitting there thinking of everything that happened last night. About everything he had read. They just cloud his mind taking over it.

"Hey bro, what's up? You look distracted? Everything ok at home?" Ichiru asks.

"Yea. I read more of the Manga last night. I see that Yuki finally slept with that bastard. He got what he wanted. She kisses me at the ball then fucks him. I just can't seem to get that out of my mind." Zero states.

"Dude reallY? Why do you even care? It's not your life anymore. You have a wonderful wife, adorable son. Everything you could ever want and you care who Yuki is sleeping with? It's only a story." Ichiru replies.

"I do care. It makes me wonder if Alexa regrets being with me? If she rather be with her ex-husband. It makes me think if Yuki really had feelings for me how did she screw him?" Zero rants.

"First off, your wife loves you dearly. She isn't playing or faking it. She doesn't want her ex. If she did she wouldn't have left him. She is nothing like Yuki. Second, Yuki is made up as are we. You have to remember that. I think you should just either read the damn thing fully and get it over with or just leave it the hell alone." Ichiru states.

" I read it slowly because I am scared of what is to come." Zero answers.

"She has Kaname's child. Kaname dies. She is always in love with him but goes with you since your still here. It just takes her a very long time to do so, and your a dumb ass and waits. No one likes the idea of your relationship for many reasons which also keeps you two apart, and also gets you killed, which is when she gives her heart to Kaname and he returns to watch over his daughter and the one you have with Yuki, with both of you dead. No one wins. Its all mixed up and full of shit if you really think about it. I read it a long time ago." Ichiru blurts out.

"Gezz great way to kill a story. Kaname dies?" Zero asks.

"Thats the only thing you got out of all that? Not that you do? Not that you had a child? Just that he dies. Do you see something wrong with that? It's not that you want Yuki in this life. Its that you hate him." Ichiru replies.

Zero just thinks about it and is just confused. At the same time, he feels more connected to his real wife and family. Not wanting anything to take it away from him. Was Ichiru right? Was it really just about winning against Kaname? Did it really matter at this point in time? The story was written already nothing was going to change it. He needed to pay attention to his real life. Not just a story.

"


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Six years have flown by extremely fast. I have been with Zero seven and a half years. Our son is now going on seven as well. He is smart, sweet and looks a lot like Zero just with light brown hair color. I did get something of mine in. We have grown closer as each year has gone by. Having a very nice and loving relationship. Zero after talking to Ichiru that day, finished the Manga wanting to know what fully happened, after reading it fully. He never went back to it or even brought it up. We went on to have a regular life. I couldn't ask for more.

My daughters were now in their twenties, neither of them still living with me or their father. The Young one went to college, and the older one was working and living with her soon to be husband. My other children grew up. I only saw Joel when needed be. Like on special occasions. Like when our daughters graduated or got engaged. Otherwise, I was finally free of him as well. He did sure know how to make life hell when he wanted to during those few short years we had. He never got over me leaving him for Zero or any of the rest. I can't hold that against him, I don't think I would have either. It still was unreal to even me and I knew the full truth.

Zero never minded taking my children. Just like he took Ai he accepted them. They have gotten close to him and accept him as well. It is now easier since they are both adults living out of the house. Which now makes it just Zero, ZJ and I. We get to experience what it is to just be a family of three. It's very different than when the girls were here. Its a lot quieter and we have a lot more time for each other. We still see the girls every Sunday for dinner. It gives us something to look forward to. I love spending time with all of my family.

Now that our son is in school full time, There isn't a reason for me to stay home. I now work at Zero's agency with him and his family. I am no detective yet but I do a good job at finding out things for them and doing paperwork. I enjoy being there with him. His family and I have gotten along a lot better as well. His mother has gotten over whatever flew up to her ass when she first met me. I think she can now see just how much I truly love him. That I would never lie or use him. I believe Ichiru told her the truth as well. Letting her know where they really come from, which seems to keep her quiet as well. Knowing that I gave her back to her sons. I gave her a life she never really would have.

Ichiru also looked into what would happen if Zero ever wanted to return to Cross. Where would that leave the rest of them? An old Japenese man from the old country told him, nothing. Its been over six months that they lived here on this earth. They were now built into it as if they were here from the start. So if he went back, they would stay here and live on. To us, it would just be as if Zero passed away since he was here all this time. He was now known as a person in this world. Our son was born here, so he was part of here from the start. There was no fear of him just disappearing into thin air. That all made me feel good. Ichiru just never told Zero what he found out. He told me it was better not to tell him. Even if he changed his mind and left, it wouldn't change there lives. He didn't want it to change mine. We became very good friends.

After Zero read the manga and seem to settle down some, I wasn't as worried, that he would want to return to Cross and leave our family. He didn't seem to have any want or reason too. He also didnt seem to hate Kaname as much as he did, when he first got here. Seeing that he gave his life, and wasnt with Yuki after all. Telling them to go together with that he saw the love they have for each other. That made Zero see him in a bit of a different light. Which in turn put all that he used to feel free. Making this life even better for him.

Its been so long but I do sometimes wonder if he thinks about her still? He doesn't seem to bring her up. I just know that doesn't mean he doesn't think about her. It's part of his past. Part of what he was supposed to be. Just if he doesn't want to talk about it, neither do I.

He seems much happier here than he ever was there. He smiles, laughs feels at peace. It's wonderful to watch. It isn't like at Cross, though. Here is he a regular normal man, that ages with time. In this life, he is already forthy three. He still looks hot just matured. Where in the manga he never aged. He always looked Seventeen. I didn't mind that at all. I found it to be special, we would age together. Grow old together. Hopefully, watch our son grow up and have his own family. I looked forward to that. I looked forward to many things as long as they were with him.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

One morning, I am at the office, doing some paperwork. Ichiru at my desk picking on me like he did most mornings. It was like having a little brother who always picked and teased me. I didn't mind it at all. After I got over the fact that he looked so much like Zero, we became very good friends.

As I am putting the paper into the copy machine, I look out the window, seeing something I never thought. I would ever see. Something I prayed Would never happen. I see Zero outside next to his car, talking to Yuki. My heart stops and my knees get weak. Ichiru noticing right away. Going to the window to see what I am looking at. He just stands behind me, not sure he is seeing this correctly either.

What happens next neither of us, sure about. We see Yuki, move in close and kiss Zero passionately. It's like I'm not in my mind, or the world. It's like I'm watching a soap opera. This isn't the man I adore with her. Please tell me it isn't so. We watch as both of them get into the car and drive away.

I stand there not even able to breathe, tears just stream down my face. I lost the battle. One I thought was over a long time ago. Ichiru just looks at me, not finding anything funny to say about this. He knew what this meant. It seems to hurt him as well.

"Look, Maybe it wasn't what we thought? Maybe it was just a goodbye kiss." Ichiru states Trying to make light of this.

"What is she doing here? Why did she come back? He didn't push her away Ichiru, He kissed her back. He got into a car with her and drove off, not even telling me she is here." I shout.

"I can't blame him for not telling you. He knew it would upset you. We just have to keep our calm about it. I don't know why she is here. Maybe just to see if he is ok? Its been awhile." Ichiru answers.

I just go back to my desk, my nerves taking over me. She was here to take my life away. To take him back with her. Everything I was always worried about was now coming to life. I was going to lose him to her. The sad part was, I didn't think I could do anything to stop it. I saw how he leaned in to kiss her back. How he was just looking at her, the way he always did. I couldn't replace that. I couldn't change it either.

I see Ichiru go into his office. He seems very upset as well, just trying to keep it from me. He knew how much I loved his brother. He didn't want to see me hurt.

"Zero, this is your brother pick up the damn phone. What the fuck are you doing? Your wife and I saw you with Yuki. She saw her kiss you! She is very upset. Where are you? Pick up this fucking phone! "Ichiru shouts.

When Zero left with Yuki it was going on two thirty. It was now time for me to pick up ZJ from school. I couldn't wait at the office to see what time Zero returned. I had other things I had to take care of. Just at the moment, I was shaking and barely able to drive. Which Ichiru notices.

"Hey, I will drive you to pick him up and take you home. I wouldn't mind spending some time with the boy either. We get along really well." Ichiru states.

"fine," I reply.

Not fully there, so many thoughts running through my mind it was pounding. I could accept anything just not this. To lose to her? I didn't have thoughts that he would still want me after this. Even though we were together so long and have more history in a way then he does with her. I just saw how he felt about her in the Manga, how he never let her go. I felt I was doomed.

We pick up ZJ and head home. Ichiru helps him with his homework as I try to make dinner. I just put some easy pasta and sauce together with a salad. I am in no mood for much of anything. I see the time ticking away and Zero still isn't home. I don't even bother to call him. Why? It wasn't going to change anything. I wasn't going to chase after him or beg. I was even too hurt to try.

Ichiru stays watching tv with ZJ and giving his nephew some attention, as he waits for Zero to come home as well. Checking his watch every now and then. Seeing the time go by and no call or anything from him.

"Ichiru its time for ZJ to get ready for bed. It's going on seven." I say.

"Ok little man, you go get ready, I will tuck you in," Ichiru replies.

"Will daddy be home to tuck me in to?" He normally is." ZJ responds.

As he asks that, Zero walks in the door.

"Daddy, "ZJ says running to him and giving him a hug.

"Hey buddy, I see its time to get ready for bed. Go get ready and I will come to tuck you in." Zero says.

Acting as if nothing took place today. I just pass by him and go upstairs to get our son ready for bed. If I stick around, I will either start screaming or fall apart and I don't want our son to see either. Ichiru stays downstairs with him.

"What the fuck is going on?" Ichiru asks.

"Shhh, Don't let her hear you. Take his shirt home, don't let her see it." Zero responds.

"What are you doing? She knows you were with Yuki. She saw you kiss. She is beside herself. Not to mention its seven. Where the hell have you been?" Ichiru asks.

"I can't talk now. I will tell you tomorrow at work." Zero responds looking at the stairs not wanting anyone to hear him.

"You're going to lose everything over that twit aren't you? You're going to give up, your real life for a life of pain and suffering. Not to mention death?" Ichiru replies.

"No, Just, please. Not now." Zero says.

They both go up to say goodnight to ZJ. Afterwards, Ichiru goes home leaving Zero to face the music.

"I know your upset. I'm sorry." Zero states.

Both of us now in our bedroom getting ready for bed.

"You just upped and left with her, you didn't even tell me. Why is she here? To take you away isn't she?" I say just taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"She just came to make sure I was ok. She always wondered if I was happy here. If everything was the way I wanted." Zero admits.

"What did you tell her? That you always dream of her? That you want her? That I can never fill her shoes?" I shout.

"Thats not true or how I really feel. I love our life. I love you. I told her I was happy here."Zero answers.

"She kissed you. You didn't push her away Zero. I saw you embraced it. Its what you always wanted." I cry.

Zero coming over to me sitting down next to me putting his arms around me.

"I was confused, and I went for the kiss. It didn't mean anything. "Zero states.

"Where were you all these hours? Why didn't you call me? Tell me?" I yell.

"We went back to her hotel. We sat there and talked, we had a lot to catch up on. I lost track of time. I am sorry to make you worry like this." Zero replies.

"When is she going back?" I ask.

"I don't know," Zero says.

"Are you going with her?" I ask.

"No." He replies.

Even after hearing him say no, I wasn't so sure. He was hiding something just not telling me. This made no sense to me. He was trying to console me yet, I could see something inside him holding back. His answers were short and to the point. Like they were rehearsed, planned. He didn't tell me everything at all. Was it to save me from hurt? I didn't know. I just wasn't sure if he really was going to stay or not. I was so hurt, I could barely breathe, even with his arms wrapped around me, trying to reassure me, I felt nothing but pain. I should believe him, but I don't.

Any other time, he would have called. He would have come home earlier. In all the years, I know him, he has never done this. Only when she reappears. He went back to her Hotel to "talk" yea my ass. Why couldn't he talk at the office? Where everyone could see?

I laid there all night thinking about all kinds of things. Even though he was laying next to me. I know he wasn't sleeping either. He was probably thinking about her. It was all her.

I guess in a way, I deserved it. He was her's after all. I had a good run more time than anyone could wish for. It didn't help me not to want more time. The sad part was, I still loved him the same way I did seven years ago. Just did he feel the same? Or was he leaving me for her?


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

I toss and turn in his arms, not able to close my eyes and fall asleep. This was my nightmare, her returning to get him back. Kaname was dead and she finally realized she wanted Zero. It kept going over and over in mind playing like a video stuck on rewind. She was going to take away everything I loved most in this world. I felt lost.

I know in all truth, he was hers. He was meant to be hers and only hers. That didn't make me feel any better. I never meant to really take him away from her, I never even thought it was possible. This was just a dream to start, now here we are. I have so many questions, I can't even bring myself to ask him. I know the answers may hurt me deeply. It also seemed at the moment, he didn't want to tell me the truth. He wasn't very good at lying. Zero was an honest man, a good man. I saw him laying there thinking. He just won't tell me what about. What really took place today? How much of him did I lose?

Was he leaving me? I guess time will tell. The morning comes fast, I just get up and go to the bathroom splashing water on my bloodshot eyes. They are puffy and red from crying most of yesterday and all of last night. I felt sick to my stomach. I Could barely look at Zero as much as I loved him at the moment I hated him. HOw could he? Did he? As I am going through all this in the bathroom, Zero gets ZJ ready for school. Trying to keep within our regular routine so that ZJ doesn't notice anything.

I head downstairs where Zero offers me some toast, trying to be nice. I take it even though my stomach sees it as an enemy. The morning is quiet as I have nothing to say. What is the point? Whatever he is going to do, he is going to do. I can't change his mind. If she is truly what he wants, then so be it. I accepted my defeat a long time ago. It just pains me greatly to let go.

We pile in the car to go to work and drop our son off to school. Zero doing it all as I am barely there. He sees it just doesn't say anything in front of our son. Once we drop ZJ off, Zero comes back to the car. Just staring at me.

"Babe, are you ok? You're so quiet. I never have seen you like this in the whole time I know you. Talk to me." Zero says.

"I want her to go home, to leave. I never want to see her again."I state.

"I know you do. I will ask her today when she is leaving." Zero replies.

"You're seeing her again? Going off to her hotel again?"I shout.

"Please, I know this hurts you. I'm sorry, she said she would stop by today." Zero answers.

I just open the car door and walk out going to my office not even waiting for him. I am so pissed off, I can barely take it. I am at the same time scared that if I let go, it might just work in her favor.

I see as Ichiru goes into Zero's office, probably wanting to find out the truth. I just hope he does a better job at it. Because I got nowhere.

"Ok, you said you would tell me what the fuck was going on last night. You gave me a shirt with lipstick at the collar and her scent all over it. What happened?" Ichiru asks.

"Damn it. Throw the shirt away. I don't need her finding it. I did something stupid, yet something I needed to do. I needed to see, what I really wanted. All these years I wondered, was I doing the right thing being here. Who did I really want? Was I staying because of you and my son or because I wanted to? " Zero replies.

"You were fine till she showed back up. What did you do?" Ichiru asks.

"Yuki came here to see me. She missed me, she said she always wondered if I was ok. We were talking and she kissed me. I went back to her hotel room and we made love. We got lost in it but it wasn't what either of us thought it would be. The spark, want and desire that we both had at Cross wasn't here. There I always wanted her blood, well here as you know I'm not a vampire. So I don't crave that or anything for that matter. I regretted it right after, so did she. We talked about other things and we are happy just to be friends." Zero admits.

"Why did you at least tell your wife about the last part. She is worried sick your going to leave her, and is this only because you don't want to leave us?" Ichiru asks.

"No, I know that you all will stay here and move on. I went to the same elder you did. I know it all. Also, I don't know how to tell her. I don't want her to know, I slept with Yuki. She is falling apart barely talking to me over a kiss. If she knew the rest it would kill her. I don't want that. I want our marriage to go on. We have a good one and I did something stupid. Yuki is coming here this morning to say goodbye. Maybe if she sees her leave she will feel better about things. We can move on. A kiss isn't as bad as the other." Zero remarks.

"Thats just fucked up. You had to sleep with her to see if you wanted her or not? What if it was hot? Then what? You leave us for her?" Ichiru snaps.

"It wasn't about sex it was about having feelings for her. I wanted to see if they were as strong as they were back there. All I ever wanted was to be with her in that way. Yet here it was just sex. It's not like making love with my wife." Zero Answers.

"I don't see why your wife loves you so much, You can be a real dick head when you want to be. Yet she thinks the sun rises and shines in you. It's been all these years and she still cares so deeply. Do you know how badly you have hurt her? You always hated Kaname. Always said he was in the middle. The problem. Well, Yuki is her Kaname. You let her be. It's been all these years and you finally know what you want? You lied to her all this time and to yourself. I hope she does find out what you did. Just so she could know what a real ass you are. The Zero who could do no wrong tumbles on his ass." Ichiru remarks.

"Why don't you just say it. You want my life, you been jealous of me here just like you were at Cross just for different reasons. Some things never change, do they? I can't help that she loves me that much. I never asked her to. I never asked her to come there and take me here. I was glad that I come here. It's been hard, I did leave people behind I cared about." Zero responds.

"All you left was fake shit. A girl who never knew what the fuck she really wanted. We have nothing there but pain and sorrow. I think you just like to be the one with the sad ass past so everyone feels sorry for you." Ichiru states.

"Fuck you. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be here. She only wished it so I would be happy." Zero snaps.

"Yea there is the brother I know. Making himself the almighty one. The great hunter, Here the great lover. You fucked all this up on your own. So if she dumps you for cheating then what? You run back to the twit?" Ichiru hisses.

"She won't leave me. I doubt that. She will hate me for a bit, be mad at me, but I doubt leave. She cares too much." Zero answers.

"Wow, aren't you sure of yourself. So that makes it right? She loves you so much you can walk all over her? Is this revenge for her tricking you at the start? So now you really did fuck Yuki." Ichiru responds.

"Get out of my office! I don't need this shit from you. You wanted the truth and I told you. Which I shouldn't of. Who are you to judge me? GET OUT. " Zero says

Throwing Ichiru out of his office. Ichiru just goes to his own office in a huff and puff.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

I see Ichiru filled with rage go back to his own office, slamming the door. I know something isn't right, I just don't know what. What could Zero say to get him that upset?

I head over to Zero's office wanting to go in, to see if he is ok. At the same time, a part of me doesn't want to. Instead, I head to Ichiru's office walking n as he is sitting at his desk fuming.

"What happened? Are you ok?" I ask.

"My brother is a self-righteous asshole," Ichiru replies.

"I am not sure what happened, but I am sure it will be ok. What were you fighting over?" I ask.

"You need to talk to him. You also really need to think about if you want to be with him. Is he really everything you always wanted? Are you just blinded because he was some Anime guy you thought was sexy? Or whatever you think of him. He is hurting you with Yuki, any blind man can see it. He has from the start and you let him. " Ichiru snaps.

"I love him, I always have. I was the one to take him away from her. She is the one he is supposed to be with, not me." I answer.

"Maybe that was before, but he has been with you and had a life with you for seven years. He should know how great you are. He should have sent her home as soon as she got here. Knowing how badly it would hurt you. He isn't her's at the moment, in this world, he is your husband and father to your son. You opened new doors to him, gave him a life. A real life and he left here yesterday with her." Ichiru replies.

"I thought about that all night," I respond.

"Why are you leaving this choice up to him? That it's all ok even if he wanted to leave with her? Or if he doesn't. You need to stand up for yourself. Would you do this if it was your first husband? You told me you didn't have the worry in that one, that you felt normal. What would you do with him?" Ichiru asks.

"I would have kicked his ass, and told Yuki to get a fucking life of her own. If I would see he was in love with her I would of just let him go." I say.

"What's so different this time? Why let my brother win? Let him get away with it?" Ichiru snaps.

"Because my feelings are way different. I don't want to let him go. I don't want to lose what we have." I respond.

"What do you have? Is it all true? You know he didn't love you at the start. I don't want to hurt you but its true. You should know. He came here to get away from Kaname and Her because they left. Then we were here and he stayed. It wasn't love." Ichiru comments.

Hearing it out loud hurts deeply, I take a deep breath before answering.

"You think I didn't know that? That I didn't realize it? That all these years, I didn't realize how he thought about her? Or wondered? How I was always second place no matter how hard I try?" I answer with tears in my eyes.

"Damn it why? You deserve better than that. He needs to grow up." Ichiru states.

"I know this hasn't been easy on him. He is in a new world. One very different than the one you came from. We had to go through a lot to be together. We got through all that. He has to care in some way to go through all that. He has never mistreated me. I can't expect him to be madly in love with me when it's written he is with her." I respond.

"Fuck that. If he can't see how much you care, what all you would do for him. Then he doesn't deserve you." Ichiru replies.

"Does anyone deserve someone? I know I am blinded when it comes to your brother. I have been from the start. I don't regret it though. I just wish she wouldn't be part of our life. I guess now it will be either way." I say. Walking out the office door.

Zero sees me coming out of Ichiru's office. I see a panic in his face, one I never really saw before.

"What did he say? Are you ok?" Zero asks.

"He didn't say anything I didn't already know. And no I'm not ok. He brought up a lot of good points that I am just trying to keep to myself. Where I should just let you have it." I answer

"Thats my dear old brother. Stirring the shit. You know he likes you himself, don't you? That he wants our life?" Zero says.

"At least someone sees what you have and wants it, without having to think about it," I reply

"I know, all this happened really fast. Neither of us had time to breathe, but its either you like your life with me or not. Its either you have feelings for me or you don't. We have been together for the last seven years as a family. Either you treasure that as I do. Or you don't. If she means more to you than we do than maybe you should go with her. Maybe your not the man I really thought you were or wanted. Maybe I am just too blinded to see it. I know your hiding things from me, that happened yesterday. I'm not that dumb. I know when you're keeping something. I know you're not madly in love with me, but you should have some respect for me. At this point, its either Me or her. You need to pick one and stick with it."I say. Walking away.

Leaving him to think about things. Ichiru was right about a lot of it. I should do what I would really do, not just let him get away with it. Not so worried he would leave me, I would stay quiet just so he doesn't. I am a person with feelings. He didn't like when Kaname was with Yuki, he was jealous. It just seemed that it was fine to do to me. I couldn't put up with it anymore. Granted he stayed with me all these years, never really seeing her in person, but there was the manga he would read and get a tizzy over. He would think about her here and there. A lot he did hide to keep me happy. It just not what it should be. Either you want me? Or you want her? If he picks her, Then there wasn't anything I could do. I just hope with whatever choice he makes he will be happy with and able to move on. With either one he makes I have to be happy and move on also. I couldn't help but still leave the choice up to him. Even though Ichiru was right. I couldn't let go.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Zero thinks about all that she just said to him, knowing she is feeling she lost. Knowing that Ichiru didn't help his cause, just put more crap into her head. He knew if he didn't do something right away, things may go wrong. He still did feel she wouldn't leave him, she loved him too much. He had that on his side. He just wanted her to feel wanted and loved, just like she made him feel all these years.

He knew in a way, he let Yuki still take over this life he was living. He just now knew she wasnt what he really wanted at all. It was all just a fantasy made up for a book. In real life, he saw her as just a friend if even that. He just did something with her, that could ruin his whole real life here and he didn't want that either. He never saw himself giving into temptation, yet he did. Just like at Cross when he went after her blood, this time it was something else. It just didn't satisfy him as he thought it would.

Zero barges into Alexa's office, needing to make this right.

"Why do you feel I would leave with her and leave everything we have?" Zero states.

"Because I know how you feel about her. I know you want her. You have always, why would that change now? I can't compete with it." I answer.

"You don't need to. This is real life, I don't want her as I did in the manga or at Cross. I am not leaving you. I am just sorry I didn't make that really clear last night or even this morning. Seeing her was a lot to take in." Zero admits.

"Really? You're just going to give her up? Let her go? No regrets? You don't have to stay here because you think the rest will disappear. We looked into it, everything stays the same but you." I confess.

"I already knew that. I looked into it myself. I am not staying because of that. I am staying because I love you. I want you." Zero answers.

Zero moves close, grabbing me and kissing me passionately. His hands roaming my body.

"Zero what are you doing?" I say.

"Showing you how you make me feel. How much I want you. What I should have done from the start." He replies.

Kissing me again on my lips. My arms just wrap around him, pushing him closer to me. I love him so much. So far nothing stopped that, or the want I have for him.

His hands move my black pencil skirt all the way up my waist sliding my black silky panties down my legs. His lifts me up placing me on my desk, where I just wrap myself around him. Undoing his belt and pants so he can slide inside me. I kiss down his neck and back up to his lips moaning into each kiss as he slams into me. The urgently growing with each thrust until we both let loose.

His body lands on top of mine trying to catch his breath, me trying the same. What was he really trying to prove by this? I didn't know. I was just happy to hear he wasnt going anywhere. I just knew he was hiding something. This made no sense to me. He never did this before, we have made love but not like this.

"That doesn't fix everything Zero," I say.

"I know, we will work on our relationship. She will be going home soon. I will say goodbye in front of you today. So you know everything that is going on." Zero says. Fixing his pants.

"Thats a start. I still feel something isn't right." I reply.

"Everything is fine. It will all go back to normal once she leaves. You will see." He responds. Kissing me on my head.

"If you say so. Last night when you came home, you barely answered my questions. You were up all night thinking just as I was. " I shout.

"Stop, You know there is a lot going on, I mean really this was a huge thing seeing her again. I didn't think I would ever see her again." Zero answers.

"Now you did. Are you going to regret staying? Start thinking about her all over again. I Can't live like that. I can't be the second love of your life. I am tired of trying to compete for your love." I answer.

"I don't feel for her what I did. Things are way different then they were. I believe after this i will finally be free of her. I needed this more than you know. I had to see for myself. There is no completing. You are my wife, the woman I love." Zero replies.

I don't know what to say. Did I really hear this right? He was picking me? When Yuki would show up would she change his mind? Was it really over? I couldn't help to think these things. It was nice to hear that he loved me. That he wanted me. I just hope its really the truth.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

We stay in my office, I am still not sure of anything. I am still lost in all that is taking place. Was he really going to stay with me? He was going to give her up for me? I sat there in shock and disbelief. I guess when she would show up, I would see for myself.

It doesn't take long to find this out as Yuki comes strolling into my office since Zero stayed here not going to his. Wanting to have the last conversation in front of me. So, I saw everything that was going on for myself. He was trying to redeem himself.

"Hi. "Yuki says. Going over and kissing Zero's cheek.

I see the awkwardness in them both. Which makes me just suspect even more what took place the day before.

"I want to say, I will be going home tonight. It was great seeing you again Zero. I am glad your happy here. It's all I ever wanted." Yuki states.

"Same, Thank you for checking up on me. I hope everything goes well back home. It was great seeing you again." Zero replies.

"I want to say, I am sorry for everything. I didn't mean to hurt you." Yuki says turning to me.

I just look at Zero. Who looks like he rather be anywhere but here.

"There isn't anything to be sorry about. Your just friends Right?" I answer.

Yuki just looks at me then at Zero. Not sure what to say. She knew Zero didn't tell me what was really going on. She didn't want to say anything out of turn to make things worse.

"Yes, we are just friends. You have a safe way back. Tell Yagari I say hi. The old man too." Zero responds. Trying to get off the subject and rid of her.

They give each other a slight hug, as Yuki walks out the door, heading back to her hotel room.

"What was she sorry about Zero?" I ask.

"Thats just Yuki, she is always sorry. Can we go home and forget about all this? It's over now. You know she is going home, Its just us. The way its suppose to be. The way I want it to be." Zero comments.

"I wish you would be honest with me. I know your hiding something. Would it hurt me yes very much but I am not happy with lying either." I respond.

"I just want to go home. Have a nice dinner with you and my son. Can we do that?" Zero asks.

"Fine. I will grab my bag." I answer

We go home having a nice night just the thoughts of Zero with her still run through my mind. Should I just act as if it never happened? Let it go? He picked me and stayed here. I wanted our marriage to work. I wanted to be with him and only him. If I keep egging on about him sleeping with her, it's just going to tear our marriage apart. I knew that was why he wouldn't admit to it. He knew me knowing it actually took place would kill me inside. It would change everything forever. Where if I had doubts it would make it fade in time, or at least he hoped.

For the next few days, I see Zero trying to make me as happy as he could. Giving me all kinds of attention. He was always the man I always wanted, just for the first time, I wasnt worried about him leaving. I still hurt, just I feel it is better to let it go. I knew I didn't have to worry about any other woman. Zero wasnt like that, he was normally loyal. He just went with what was written in the manga. He wanted to test his need for her. I was just figuring his need wasnt like he thought it would be, which let me win. Was I happy about it? Yes and no. What if the feelings stayed the same. I would have lost him, then really was he mine? Or was I just borrowing him?

I knew Ichiru knew more then he was letting on, In the matter of Yuki and even about them able to stay here. He was hiding something. The next few weeks, Ichiru did his best to stay away from me the best he could. Which I hated. We would have our morning bullshit sessions, him picking on me. It was gone. I have to say I missed it. He was a good friend, now all of a sudden staying away. Not even talking to Zero. I would see him go away from him when he saw him. Not even wanting to say hi. I knew something went down, I just didn't know what.

After three weeks of him avoiding me like the plague, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to go talk to him and let him listen to me. I needed to know what was going on. Why was he doing this? I didn't do anything to him to make him stay away. So why was he?

I got over to his office door, knock and go in, not giving him any time to lock the door or run away.

Ichiru, what is going on? Why are you avoiding me?" I ask.

"I have a lot of work to do, I don't have time to bullshit," Ichiru says.

"Will you stop lying to me. What the hell is wrong with you two. Now both of you are lying to me. I thought you of all people would never do that to me."I shout.

"At least you see he is lying, yet he gets away with it. He gets away with it all. Fucking up everyone's life. But its Zero doing it, so it's all ok." Ichiru snaps.

"I don't know what happened with you two that day. I know you try to defend me, I thank you, I just don't want that to hurt our friendship or the one you have with your brother." I answer.

"My brother finally woke up I see. He didn't leave with her. I have to admit I thought after that day he would. He makes a big mistake but its ok, life goes on. Or at least for him." Ichiru states.

"I know he slept with her Ichiru. He may not admit it, but it was written all over him and her. I think he doesn't want to hurt me by letting me know the truth." I say." I don't know what he thinks, to be honest. "I add.

"You're just happy he stayed. You're not thinking about his betrayal, or what the betrayal leads to." Ichiru answers.

"I know it was a betrayal, I also know I don't have to worry about him sleeping with anyone else. It was only her I had to fear. With her out of his system sort of speaking, he can move on. We all can." I reply.

"Do you know why they would have to sleep together? Why she would have to come all this way?" Ichiru answers calmly.

"She came to make sure he was ok," I comment.

"Yes, but there was more. Something that takes place in the manga, that he wouldn't be there to make happen. So the universe made her come here...to make sure it was done." Ichiru remarks.

I sit there and think, letting the manga go over and over in mind. What can he be talking about? Until I realize, getting a pain in my chest. Tears just stroll down my face, now knowing what he means.

"You see the universe is set. There were things that had to happen in this life but also in ours, even though it was just a manga to you. It's not for us. Ren was meant to be their child. She was meant to be there. Now she will be." Ichiru answers coldly.

I don't answer as I don't know how to. I just feel pain. I knew the child was born in the manga, I was fine with that. Just now it was a bit different. He was married to me when she was conceived. I was the mother of his child. I thought I had something she wouldn't ever have. I guess she got me again. In the end, I couldn't stop anything. It was still going just working its way around us.

"Does Zero know about this?" I ask.

"Not sure if he put two and two together. I haven't talked to him since that day. Maybe it's better you don't say anything. Then he will feel even more guilt, leaving his other child behind. It was also a test which he failed. In the future, that may cost him." Ichiru states.

"What do you mean test?" I ask.

"To see if he got over his old life to move on with this one," Ichiru says.

"You know more than your saying. Why won't you just tell me." I snap

"Whatever happens in the future is Zero's own doing. To be here there are rules you must follow to keep the connection. The more he thinks or does things with her the connection breaks. Once it's fully broken, he goes back to where he came from." Ichiru confesses. 

"Oh god, it was just one. We can keep the connection. Make this right."I say.

"It's not up to you. It's up to him. If he finds out about the child, we may lose all this for good. "Ichiru admits.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

I sit there not able to even move. I thought we were over this, she went back and it all would be over. I never thought about Ren or lost connections. I wasnt really sure, what I was more upset about now, the affair? The child? Or the loss of the connection. Ichiru knew this would hurt me, he just also knew, I needed to know.

I sat there and wondered if Zero knew any of this? Did he know this was to make Ren happen? Would he regret and hurt by never seeing her? My mind is everywhere, not even able to stop it.

I get up and walk into the lobby staring at Zero's office. Wondering how he is feeling. What is going through his mind? The last few weeks, he did his best not to bring up Yuki or anything that had taken place. It seems like he was trying to let it go. I wondered if that was the truth.

I walk over to his office and walk in, Seeing him at his desk doing his work.

"Hey baby, glad you came, maybe we can get some lunch?" Zero asks.

"That would be nice, "I answer still very shaken.

"Babe, is everything ok? You look a little pale? Something happen, that I don't know about?" Zero asks.

I ponder what to say. Do I tell the truth? Or do what Ichiru told me. I just stare at him, his matured gorgeous face, with those lavender eyes that could make you forgive anything.

"Are you really happy here Zero?" I say.

"Of Course, why wouldn't I be? I love you and our son. I have my family. I couldn't ask for anything more." Zero replies.

"Why are you and Ichiru mad at each other?" I comment.

"He feels, I did some things wrong. Which I did. He also seems to like you himself. He is jealous of what we have." Zero responds.

"What do we have?" I ask.

"I know you love me no matter what. To him, you see me as some kind of god, and he can't stand it. He knows that our relationship is strong." Zero answers.

"Is it? Is it just one sided? That I love you no matter what? I know you're not madly in love with me, or at the start you were. I know you will never love me the way you do her." I reply.

"I am very much in love with you now. Once I got to know you, and see how much you really care, I couldn't help but fall for you. I wish you wouldn't think I love her more. When she was here I didn't feel any of that with her. It was nothing like at Cross." Zero admits.

"You liked her enough to sleep with her. I know you did Zero, no matter how much you want to deny it. It was written all over both of you. Was she all you ever dreamed?" I ask coldly.

"Babe please, once we open this door, we can't close it," Zero says.

"Me just wondering won't close it either. I want the truth and from you. Not her or Ichiru or anyone else. FROM you! I think I deserve at least that." I shout.

"No, it wasnt anything I thought it would be. I regretted it minutes after it happened. It made me see, how much I loved you and not her." Zero admits.

I just sit there staring at him, part of me broken. I knew he did sleep with her, just hearing it made it all too real. Ichiru was right. It was meant to happen.

"Did you use anything?" I ask coldly.

"No, I didn't even think about it. I am sure she was on something." Zero responds.

"Really? For who? Kaname is dead and your here. Who the hell would she sleep with?" I scream.

"Babe, please calm down," Zero says walking over to me trying to calm my shaking body.

"You know why this took place? You're not dumb. You're a very smart man. How could you? I thought we had something special. I gave up everything to be with you. I love you so deeply and you sleep with her." I snap.

"I am sorry, extremely sorry. There was just a pull there. I needed to see what it was like, so I could let go. I know you won't understand that. I am sorry. What do you mean why it took place?" Zero asks.

"Because Ren was meant to be born. So not only did you sleep with her, you made a child with her. I know she was born in the manga but you were not with me then. It was special to have your son. To have something of you. Now she will too!" I yell.

"I never thought of it. Then maybe that was the pull, not really wanting her but just for it needing to happen. It's part of our life there, the child would need to be born. I didn't think Yuki would just come here and sleep with me and go back like nothing ever happened. It was just the way it was supposed to be." Zero admits.

"And you're fine with that? Not wanting that child?" I ask.

"I don't want that life, I am happy here. I know our son. I figured the story would go on and Ren would be there anyway. That never changed me wanting to be here. I know I did something hurtful and wrong. I just need for us to move forward. TO be what we were. I really don't want to lose that." Zero states.

"I don't either, but that doesn't stop the hurt I feel," I respond.

"I understand that. I will do whatever needed to build your trust again. To make you as happy as you make me. Just give me that chance." Zero Asks.

"I love you, that doesn't change. it will just take time." I reply.

"We should have plenty of that," Zero says wrapping his arms around me.

I don't know what to say, I am hurt and lost in so many ways. He just seems to really want to stay here and make this work. We had some hard times and some really great times. Do I give up now? Or just go on? He wants to rebuild trust, the thing is, I already do trust him, with everything but her. She was my only problem, the only thing in my way. If he really felt as he was saying, she would no longer be that.

I know I don't want to lose my family, and I know I am not going to let her win.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Three years have gone by in a flash, we are now married for ten years. After everything that happened with Yuki, Zero finally did let go. Giving me the man, I always wanted him to be. He was before that just now, I felt and knew he was mine and only mine. I had no worries about him leaving me for her. Which felt great. Which felt freeing.

After he told me the truth, I didn't know what to do. I thought about walking away, but then I was like why? We have gone through so much. He was here to live, and not going back there. Why throw it all away for one mistake? Even though the mistake was very hurting. It took me a while to get over even though, I tried not to let it, get the best of us. I saw him trying to make things better. Trying to be the man, I needed. Which only meant he loved me the way I wanted him to. The rest of our lives was wonderful. I am glad I stuck it out.

Zero and Ichiru talk a bit more than when this took place. I do still see that Ichiru doesn't trust Zero. I am not really sure why. Its as if he knows something and is holding back. I know it's not about Yuki so I really don't care.

Our Son is now ten also, Zero and he do all kinds of things together. He is a wonderful father. I smile every day just watching them two interact with each other. I also see ZJ's hair turning lighter and lighter as the years go on. Zero's genes for just being an Anime guy are pretty damn strong. Our son looks more and more like him, which only makes me happy. ZJ is happy and full of life, he is nothing like what Zero was in the anime. Then his life is happy and normal.

My in-laws are also happy with there life here, and with each other. We still go on Saturday to eat dinner with them. We all get along very nicely now. My mother in law learned to curb herself. Not really having anything to hit me with anymore, since we been married for so long and she sees just how much I care for Zero. That alone made her lighten up a lot. She even told me once, she never thought, it possible for someone to love another the way I do him.

She isn't alone in that thought process. I never imaged. I could love another human being the way I love him, that wasn't my child that is, but I do. Even though its been ten years, I still feel the same way. It never faded or lost its shine, the way it did with my first marriage. He can still touch me and set me on fire. I still catch myself staring at him time to time at his silver hair and gorgeous lavender eyes. Those eyes that I love. I never thought any of this possible, I am just glad it happened.

Ichiru once asked me, if I ever had to go back would I miss this life or want my old one back? I told him if I was satisfied with my old life, I wouldn't have ever fantasized about Zero in the first place. I wasn't really happy in my old life, where this one I was. I had no regrets. It was hard at the start but we got through all that. Nothing worth fighting for is ever easy.

One day at the office, I see Ichiru go into Zero's office a little pissed off. Which isn't new. These two are something together. They love each other and hate each other all in the same breathe. I was used to it by now. Zero never really getting over the fact, that Ichiru liked his life for his own. He felt even here in real life Ichiru wasn't happy with his life and wanted to take his. Zero knew he didn't have to worry about a thing, so he just shrugged it off. Which only pissed Ichiru off more, knowing that I cared so much to let Zero get away with almost anything.

"Have you told her the truth?" Ichiru says slamming the office door hard behind him, almost cracking the glass.

"Told her what? What are you talking about now?" Zero hisses.

"You may be able to play her, but I know better. You think not telling her is going to make it easier? What about mom and dad?" Ichiru snaps.

"Either way, it's going to hurt, why let her know now? Why let her wonder when it's going to happen? I Rather her enjoy now, and what we have." Zero replies.

"So it's just all a big what the fuck happened? When it takes place? God, I am glad your not my husband." Ichiru answers.

"I wouldn't want you to be. Your an ass. I want, what we have left to be special. I want to give her everything she gave me. I love her very much, everything I have is because of her. and I will never forget that." Zero admits.

"I think you should tell her. I think that is only fair." Ichiru huffs.

"No, I want to give her back her old life. If I tell her that, she won't let me." Zero admits.

"How about if she doesn't want it back? She wasn't happy back then. Why not leave it the way it is?" Ichiru asks.

"Because she left everything for me. Her life, Her home, Her job. I am not sure if she really wanted to give that all up or not. Just once I showed up, she did. This way I give it all back to her to redo it the way she wants." Zero confesses.

"Taking back everything you two shared? Do you really think she wants that? She wanted more than anything to be your wife." Ichiru comments.

"And where did that get her? Always wondering if I would go with Yuki even when I had no intentions of it. She was always looking over her shoulder. I gave her things and took a lot away. I want you to give her this box, it will have all the money I made pictures and a few other things so she knows it was all real. So she is taken cared of no matter what she chooses to do." Zero states.

"ME? You think I will still be here? That she will even want to talk to me if I am?" Ichiru asks.

"I know you baby brother. I know all this time all you did was fight to make sure you never returned. I also know how much you care about her. Plus you look exactly like me, if she picks you, she gets me in a different way. Away she honestly deserves. Without having to worry about someone else." Zero confesses.

"Wait, what? This makes no sense. You would actually do that?" Ichiru asks.

"I have no choice you know what is going to happen. I only have a say on how it goes down. I will give her old life to her, with you remaining here she can choose you or her old life. Whichever makes her happy." Zero says in a sad voice.

"Bro I am so sorry. I wish this wasn't happening. How could you let go of someone you love this easy?" Ichiru asks.

"I have no choice as I said before otherwise, I wouldn't. We both know that. I Just want her happy as she has made me. We had ten wonderful years. Even with all the shit that took place, she gave me a son I adore. There isn't much I can ask for." Zero states.

"What about ZJ. You can't do that to him." Ichiru says in a panic.

"He will be fine, he has you. I know when it comes down to it, you will look after them. You will do the right thing. You love them both just as much as I do. Its the only reason I can do this and not worry. " Zero admits.

"I will do my best. If she doesn't want me, I will still always be his Uncle." Ichiru states.

"Tell him about me? How much I loved him. How much I wanted him. How I never regretted him. He was perfect from the moment he was born." Zero says with a tear in his eye.

"I will, I promise," Ichiru replies.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

Ichiru goes back to his own office, not sure what to say or even feel. Yes, he was jealous of his brother but he didn't want it to end this way. He knew that Zero had no choice, that this was set from the beginning. He knew it was going to come along time ago. He just wasn't happy about it or sure how Zero would let it go down. He just knew that Alexa would be the one to really suffer in the end. Ichiru knew how much she loved his brother. That life without Zero would never be the same for her.

Zero was offering his life to him, giving him, his wife and son, if he could get them to go with him. Would Alexa go for this? Or would she stay in her real life? Ichiru wasn't sure, which she would pick. He knew she loved his brother more than anything in this world or even the universe. He didn't want the fact that he looked exactly like him to be the only reason, she would stay. He did know it would have something to do with it though. That bothered him a lot. He didn't want to be seen as Zero, he wanted her to see him for himself. He cared very deeply for her, wanting to give her everything that Zero couldn't from the start. They were best friends for ten years, he just wasn't sure if their relationship could grow even more.

He did wish his brother would do it in a different way, letting things end where it should. Not going back in time. That way Alexa would have the closure, she needed. Still being Zero's wife, staying in there home and everything remaining the same. Just Zero didn't want it that way. He wanted to give her back everything, he took away from her. Knowing that it hurt her to let go of some things. Now she wouldn't have to, and if she did, it would be because she really wanted to. Not because she was pushed into it, to be with him.

Zero always wondered if leaving her home, and even her husband was something she really wanted or something she was thrown into. All this happening way to fast. Something that both of them thought would never really be. After all, it was supposed to be just a dream. Not something that turned into reality and got them to where they were.

Zero sat at his desk, watching Alexa work at hers all day. Watching everything she did, knowing the time was running close. He watched, how she interacted with the clients that would come in, how kind she would be to them.

He paid more attention to how she would kiss him and want to be close to him. Even after all these years, it never changed. He would smile at watching her, knowing he would miss her tons. Just knowing he had no choice. He just hoped with what he was doing, she would be happy in the end. With neither of them having any regrets.

It might have been a short time but Zero was happy. The happiest he ever has been. He knew that had to do with everything, Alexa gave to him. Everything he never had in his manga/anime life. It was hard for him to let go of this world, of this life. He was finally where he wanted to be, yet he couldn't stay. He just choked it up to be, thats how life goes. He was glad that for at least the last ten years, he was with someone who wanted him and only him. Someone who would do anything to make him happy. He just hoped that in the end, beneath all the pain, he did the same for her.

The next few weeks Zero stays very close to Alexa, being everything and more, she ever wanted. Even taken time off work to be together alone. Making sure, he tells her how much he loves her and appreciates her and everything she ever did for him. He wants to make sure, he didn't miss a thing. Making love to her more often than ever before, just so the thought would stay in each other's minds. Doing his best to have no regrets. Also keeping her as close to him as he could.

Zero also spends time with his son and mother and father. Knowing he would never see any of them ever again. It hurt him deeply to know this, its why he didn't want to share this with Alexa. If him knowing hurt this much, for her to know would kill her. It's not what he wanted, their last days to be. He didn't want them filled with dread and gloom. He wanted her filled with happiness and love just like she wanted to give to him.

His mother and father knew the truth, they were very low and hurt. It was killing them to have to give up their son. They also had the choice of staying or leaving and they chose to leave. Feeling the hurt would be too much. They also knew they were not supposed to be in this world. The way Zero was going to set everything back, they wanted no part of. They would be starting without him, yet his memory and the time would stay with them. They couldn't see doing that. They had a great ten years of being human and real. They had no regrets either. They didn't want to leave Ichiru but they knew that if he went back, they still wouldn't be together, as they were all dead.

They knew he didn't want to let go, he was happy being a human. Happy working at there agency. He would be the only Kiryu except for ZJ to remain here. Their name and life would live on.

Ichiru couldn't leave even if he wanted to, that would mean he would leave Alexa willingly. Zero had no choice, where Ichiru did. It was coming up, in the manga where Zero's death would take place, that meant he died here, and there. His time was up. Where for Ichiru and his parents they were already dead in the manga, so they would get to remain here and live out there life normally. Just his parents choose to go to, and Ichiru chose to stay.

Poor Zero even got screwed with that. Ichiru just laughs as he sees that his brothers life, no matter where always screwed him. In one way or another. He saw there was nothing to be jealous of, even though he had a great family he had to leave it. Then thinking at least he had it, where he never did. He just hoped that things would turn out well in the end. He just wasn't so sure. This would be a lot for them to get used to. He knew Alexa would be hurt and in pain. Would she grow to love him? Or stay in the past where she was supposed to be?


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Zero cuddles up to his wife in bed, holding her in his arms. Knowing this soon will be a distant memory. The thought pains him to even imagine. He knows that soon, she will be in pain and hurt which only brings him more pain. This wasn't something he wanted. He just knew he couldn't tell her, at the same time he wanted her to go on. To be happy. Not pine over him or what they had, the way he felt at least they got to have it. Ten years wasn't a bad time frame either, some never have it at all.

Zero kisses Alexa on her head, holding her close. "Babe I love you very much. You know that right?" Zero asks.

"Yes, I do, I finally do. You make me so happy Zero. The last few years have been the best ever. I couldn't ask for more." I say.

"I am glad, I make you happy. I am sorry for the hurt I did cause you. I hope you don't have any regrets because of it." Zero says.

"No, I don't. I know there were things you had to work out. This wasn't a regular relationship. I knew that from the start. I am just happy, that in the end, you fell in love with me. I do have one regret though."I answer.

I watch as Zero's eyes grow wide.

"What? What is the regret?" Zero asks with a panic?

"We should have had another child together. I would have loved to have been able to have my whole life with you, From the start. I wish my daughters were yours." I respond.

"Oh, that would have been really nice," Zero says with a relief in his voice. "You know when it's my time to leave this earth, I want you to move on and be happy. I don't want you to cry over me. I want you to live on and be happy. If that means being with another, I understand." Zero says.

"Where did that come from?" I ask. Looking at him weirdly.

"It will happen someday, it happens to everyone. I don't want you to stay alone and be miserable. I want you to have everything you ever wanted and more. Just like you wanted for me. I won't be mad if you move on." Zero states.

"I already have that. No one could make me as happy as you. Plus the time that happens we will both be old, I won't need anyone. Who knows I may even go first." I reply.

"I know you love me, Alexa. I am thankful for it, each and every day. I just need you to promise me, that you will move on if it ever happens. Even if you are old if there is someone to make you happy go for it. Don't let the memory of me stop you. I don't want that." Zero responds.

"Ok, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Your my husband and always will be. Its all I ever wanted. I cherish it and the rings you gave me, mean everything to me. I will never take them off, I want to be buried in them, next to you." I answer.

"You may not ever love someone as much, but you can care for someone. No matter what, our marriage is real to both of us. I cherish it also, that will never change. You don't always have to be in love with someone to be happy with them. " Zero comments.

Zero just holds her tight, knowing that she won't get to be buried next to him. It hurts him to think that what she wants more, won't take place. He knows what will take place, this just made him know, she won't like any of it. The way she talked only scared him, that she would rot away without him. He didn't want that. He wanted her and their son to be happy and move on the way it should be. He hoped that Ichiru could give her that if no one else could.

Knowing her regret was having more kids with him, he is glad in a way they didn't. It would only be more people to hurt and leave behind. He just wishes he could give her what she wanted, even though he wouldn't be there to share in it. His mind was everywhere, going over so many things over and over again. This was weighing him down, in a way he would be glad when it was all over. He also thought that everything she ever wanted for him, took place. He hoped that he could do the same for her some way. He just didn't know how. He did know it had to be possible since it was done once.

He kisses her lips and holds her tightly, feeling her firm body next to his. He rubs his hands down her back as he kisses her neck down to her chest. He gets moans in return as her hands start roaming his tone chest. He knows she loves to touch him there, it was one of her favorite spots.

They lay there side by side, as Zero slides deep within her, thrusting their bodies together as they hold each other, giving each other passionate kisses, that they only come up for air to stop. They make love, bring each other to ecstasy. Zero knows how she feels, he feels the same way. No one could ever make him feel this way again. Not even Yuki in their own world. Even with time being set back, he would never forget their life together.

I lay there in Zero's arms, feeling closer to him than ever before. Still wondering what the conversation earlier was really about. I hated that he talked that way. I never wanted to be apart from him, the thought alone hurt me deeply. I knew one day, he would pass as he said, it happens to everyone. I just was hoping, it wasn't for a long time. He was only forty-eight. We have had plenty of time to be together. To watch our son grow up. To share a long and healthy life together.

I thought about what he said, to love someone else. Could I? Would I even want to? I knew I could never feel the way, I felt about him, about anyone else. It was impossible. I still wasn't sure how I felt this way about him. It was scary enough to do this once, little less again. Then he was my one great love. Some never have it, I got lucky. I just had to go to a manga/anime to get mine, not able to get it in real life.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

I lay there holding Zero close, this man was the only man or person, I ever needed. I was happy that he realized that, happy he finally felt the same. He held my heart in his hands, he was my everything.

Zero lays there also, not saying another word, not sure what to say. He just hoped, she would know he didn't want to leave her, that he had no choice. The time that they spent was running out. They were lucky, they even got this amount of time at all. It was supposed to be that he wouldn't be sent back, just now it was his time to pass away in the manga which, made it happen here as well. Zero didn't want that for her, He didn't want her to experience that. He wanted to set time back and give her all the time she lost while being with him. He just hoped that in the end, she would be happy. That he was doing the right thing. His brother's words stayed with him, that it's not what she would want. He was torn, just deep down, he felt this was better, or he hoped so.

They both lay in each other's arms, Zero taking in as much as he can, knowing it would be soon, he would never feel this again. His heart was breaking, he just didn't let her see. He kisses her forehead and holds her tight as he drifts to sleep, Alexa doing the same.

When morning comes, Alexa wakes to find herself in the hospital, not knowing how she got there or even why.

I open my eyes to find, I am in the hospital. What happened, is the only thing I could ask myself. I have wires and tubes stuck in me for some reason.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Zero? Where is Zero?" I say trying to get up from the bed.

I see my daughters at the end of my bed, just staring at me, but something about them is very different. They are not in their twenties, they are back to being teens.

"What is going on? Where is Zero?" I repeat.

"Zero? Why would she call for the anime guy?" Bri Asks.

"I have no clue, I hope everything is ok with her." Liz answers.

The nurse comes in and unhooks some of the wires and checks everything out. Joel walking in with her, which is only confusing me more. Why are they here? Why are they young? Where is Zero?

"Nurse, why am I here? What is wrong with me?" I ask.

"It seems nothing is wrong with you now, but you were pregnant and ran into some complications, you have been in a coma for months." The nurse answers.

"Wait, What? Coma?" I say. Thinking pregnant, Then I did have Zeros child? I am so confused.

"Yes, your pressure went high and you went into preeclampsia, which put you in a coma. The babies were born a few days ago. So it seems now your pressure is back to normal and you're doing great." That nurse replies.

"Where is my husband?" I respond.

"Joel has been here the whole time, he is standing right there." The nurse states.

"I mean Zero," I say.

"Sorry, I don't know who he is." The nurse states.

Tears just run down my face, It wasn't a dream, The baby is real. Oh god, it's not Joel's is it? I think with a panic. I do my best to try to calm myself down, as I see my daughters are just as confused as I am. I don't want to worry them, I just need answers. I need to know what the hell is going on.

Joel comes up to the bed when the nurse leaves telling the girls to go and get something to drink. He sits on the bed next to me, holding my hand.

"Are you ok?" Joel asks.

"No, I don't remember any of this. What is going on? What baby?" I say trying to see what he knows, or at least his version of this mess.

Joel sits there contemplating what to say, in a way he wants to lie, and another he wants to tell the truth, so he does.

"A few months ago, you asked me to leave, you told me you had an affair but it was over, just that you still were not happy with me, so I left. A few days afterward you found out you were pregnant and not shortly after that, you fell into a coma." Joel says.

"I remember the first part, just not the last. A coma? All this time? Five months lost? Did the child's father ever come to see me?" I ask.

"Yes, five months, we had to keep you in a coma to make sure the babies would survive. And no, I am sorry to say, the father never came to visit. Whoever he is. It's just been me and the girls. I came as soon as they called me. I didn't touch anything for the babies, you can fill out their birth certificates. I am not sure what you want to put." Joel states.

"Wait, What? Babies? I was told I was having a boy. What babies?" I answer. God what the fuck is happening to me. As Joel is speaking I want to crawl under the covers and die. I feel so lost, so alone. Where did my life go? Zero where are you? Did you leave me?

"Yes, you had twins, one is a boy and one is a girl. They both have a very rare trait, they have lavender eyes." Joel replies.

"Twins, with lavender eyes," I repeat

Sobbing so hard, Joel doesn't have a clue what to do. They are Zero's no one I know otherwise has lavender eyes, he gave me the other child, I asked for, but why? Why did he leave me? WHy, bring me back to this time and place? It's the only thoughts, that are going through my mind. I still need answers, but I wouldn't be getting any from him. He already told me what he knew which wasn't much.

As for the birth certicate, what do I put? How can I write an invisible man down? He left our children. I need time to think, time to figure this out.

"I don't know what is going on Alexa, I see your hurting and lost. I am here, our home is the same, we can go back to what we had." Joel comments.

"Thank you for everything. I just don't know what is going on or what I want. I can't give you any answers. I just know, I want out of this hospital and I want to see my babies." I say tears still streaming down my face.

I know what Joel wants to do is sweet, but really? Would he be able to? Take two other children from another man? I don't feel anything for him, sitting here. Its been ten years for me that I have even been with him. I don't want to go back to that. Zero, what have you done?

Or at least, I think its been ten years? Was that all a dream? Where are my rings? I am still wearing my old ones that Joel gave me. I need to figure this out, Nothing makes sense anymore.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

They wheel in these two little babies, in my hospital room, I just look at them and know they are both Zero's. They look just like him, except for the light brown hair. They are perfect in every way. Was this him, giving back to me? Where right now, I feel he took everything away. I can't believe any of this is happening. My feelings are everywhere at the moment, not able to comprehend any of what is going on. This is even more unreal than any of the other things we experienced.

I thought we were over him leaving to go back to Yuki? I know we were, so then what was going on? I have no clue.

The nurse asks me to fill out their birth certificates, I have no idea what to say. What do I fill out? Who do I put? The man I believe is their father, I have no idea where he is. And if I'm going crazy, I don't even know who he is.

I start with filling out their names and stuff I know, at least having something on the page.

" I would like to talk to their father before, I put him down if that's ok? I am being discharged tomorrow, I will come back to fill in the rest."I say.

Not sure what to do, hoping that something is still out there when I return home. For our son's name, I still put down Zero Jr. Calling him ZJ, nothing is ever going to change that. I know, I would never sleep with someone else. Oh god, Did I? Like I said before, I am so confused about everything at this moment. That I am even doubting what really is going on. Maybe this is all in my head? Maybe I'm crazy? Then I look at my children once again and I know I'm not. Their eyes say it all.

I need to pick a name for our daughter. Our daughter, she is precious, I just stare at her in awe. No matter what was true, or real, I know I will have to take care of these two babies myself. I just hope, I can be all they both need. I choose to call our daughter Destiny since this seems to now be ours.

I fill out the paper the best I can, for now, getting myself ready to get the hell out of here in the morning. I try to call my old phone number, but it says it's disconnected, which only makes me hurt more. I also try calling the agency, where I am only able to leave a message but its still there, which gives me hope.

Are my in-laws still around? Is Ichiru? I know there isn't another Kiryu detective agency. I try calling my in-laws but no one answers. Would they remember me as I do them? Are they still there? I have no clue. I will do my best to try tomorrow soon as I am let out of this jail.

Tomorrow morning doesn't come soon enough, as I been up all night thinking about everything. If Zero isn't in this world anymore, what am I going to do? My babies won't have their father or a father. I can't ask Joel to take them, it's not fair to him. I am not really sure, I want to go back to the life we had before. I now know what its like to be happy in a relationship, to be with someone I truly love. Dream or not. I don't think, I can fake it now as I did back then. I don't think, I want to.

As I am sitting there with my two sweet babies, Joel and the girls come to get me. Joel trying to be nice to me. I am just not sure, how he is doing it, knowing I just had someone else's children. I know that had to be hard. I wish, I didn't have to go through this all over again. Making Joel suffer as well. Did this mean we were meant to be and stay together? I was hoping it didn't.

I kept all my thoughts to myself, feeling if this was a dream they would think I went totally insane. Which would mean they would take me away from my babies and I surely didn't want or need that. So I stayed quiet, just going through the motions.

Joel drives us all home, to where this all started, back to the house years ago I had to give up. That I missed for a long time. It was now back as mine right in front of me, the weird thing about it now is, I didn't want it. I feel like I been placed in a horror movie. Only thing was no one was trying to kill me, or at least yet. I felt so far away from everything happening. I didn't live this life for what felt so long, at least to me. I am still questioning everything, I even think happened at this point. My home is like I never left, everything is. Could everything go right back to where it left off? It sure seemed that way.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Joel tells me to lay down, that he will watch the babies for me. I just look at him even more confused. How the hell is he so calm about this? Wanting to watch someone else's children? Was there something, I was missing?

I know, I was still very sore from the C-section but I wanted to go and see if my other home was still there. If it even existed. If it did, who was there now? Before I go adventuring out, I figured I would look up online who it belonged to. if it was under someone I didn't know, there was no sense in going there. It just meant I went crazy and needed to get over it somehow and find out who the hell, I slept with and had these babies with. That thought scared me to death.

I go online and look up the address, seeing the house was real, it was there. The owner, Ichiru Kiryu.

Ichiru I scream, Omg, it is real, I'm not crazy, I say as I start to cry. He is here, then where is Zero? Why isn't the home ours? But at least I know I'm not going insane, I then look up my inlaws home to find that it also belongs to Ichiru Kiryu. Was he the only one left? I know, it can't be anyone else, he is the one and only. He would hopefully be able to explain what the hell is going on. I feel a little better, knowing that these angels are Zero's and that I'm not dreaming.

I get up off the bed, walking to the living room, where I find my family taking care of my two sweet babies. It does bring a smile to my face. I just happen to miss the family I use to have. My son, from ten, is now a baby again and even now has a sister. I wasn't sure if anything else could even shock me at this point.

"Mom, where are you going?" Liz asks.

"The doctor said it was good if I walked around, so I am going to take a walk. I will be back later on. I will take my phone with me, to call if I'm late." I respond.

"Ok, Just please take it easy, you need rest too." Liz answers.

"I will sweety. I need to get up and move around to. I need to get my life back, I just need to know how. Take care of the little ones for me." I say.

Liz just nods watching as I walk out the door. I know she must feel something is really wrong and off. I know I'm not the same person, I was ten years ago. No to mention, they were now a lot older and took care of themselves. Everything was different.

I go to my other home, checking my purse to see if there is a key but there isn't one. I have no way to get in. I can just look through the window where I see everything is how me and Zero left it. I didn't image it.

I walk down the street and bang on Ichiru's door, hoping he is home and will answer it. I hope its the Ichiru I know. My friend, otherwise I am in big trouble. I bang and bang but no one answers. I feel defeated as I just slide down the door and take a seat on the step. Putting my head in my hands to cry. Why? I ask myself over and over.

I sit there for an hour, not able to move. My body taken over with emotions, and fear. This wasn't what I wanted.

I stay in the shadows watching her on my step, she is falling apart in front of me. How do I explain? What do I say? Zero had to die like that is going to make this any better? My heart hurts watching her, I love her so much. Will she except me? Only see my brother? At this point even if she only saw Zero, I would gladly accept it. I am not sure what took place for her, as it was all Zero's plan. I just know whatever it was, she is suffering. I can't take it any longer, it's been an hour. I guess, I just need to face the music.

I walk down the street, where she spots me. I see her face pick up, and a smile grace her face. The smile that warms my heart.

As I sit on the step feeling alone and lost, I see Ichiru walking down the street. I know he may not even remember me, but at this moment, I am so happy not to be crazy, to have something from that life. I get up and run straight to him, right into his arms.

"Hey, are you ok?" Ichiru says. Holding me tight.

"I am a bit better now. You remember me?" I ask.

"Of course, How could I ever forget you?" He responds.

Both of us walking back to the house and going in, taking a seat on the sofa.

"Where is Zero? What is going on? I am back with Joel, he is my husband again. Everything seems to be set back ten years ago." I respond.

"I know, Its what Zero wanted. He wanted to give you back all the time you lost with him. He felt that the choice you would make now would be your own. Not one thrown at you." Ichiru says.

"Did he leave me for her?" I ask with tears filling my eyes.

"No, not at all. He didn't want to go anywhere. He finally knew where he wanted to be, just it wasn't meant to stay this way. In the manga, it was his time to die. Time to move on, Because he wasn't already dead when he came here, his life still followed the major events that took place in the Manga. Like the birth of Ren and of course his death. He didn't want you to pine over him. To watch him die, so he reset the time for you giving you another chance. Did he give you anything you really wanted?" Ichiru asks.

"Yes, I told him I regretted not having another child with him. When I woke, I had two babies instead of one. ZJ and a little girl. My dear sweet Zero is dead? I can't return to Cross and get him? Take him back here? Or even stay there?" I ask.

"If you went, you would be leaving your children. They wouldn't be able to go, and if he is dead there, you wouldn't have him anyway. He did leave me a box to give to you. So you knew this was real. He knew you would come back for answers. He knew I would be the one to give them to you." Ichiru responds. Handing me the box.

"How did you get to stay? Where are your parents?" I ask.

"I was already dead in the Manga my life was played out. I wasn't needed for anything else, Neither was my parents so we could choose what we wanted. They choose to leave, feeling they wouldn't be able to live knowing Zero was gone. I choose to stay." Ichiru explains.

"What made you want to stay?" I respond.

"You, I couldn't imagine leaving you. I know Zero had no choice, or he wouldn't have either. I had the choice and I wanted to stay here. I know you don't feel about me the way you do my brother, but I care very much for you. Zero always knew it, that's why he was glad I was staying. He wanted someone to watch over you and your son. I guess now daughter too." Ichiru admits.

I just hug him, I can't help it. Looking at him, I just see Zero. He is the only thing at this moment, I have of him. The closest I'm getting to him. I just don't know what to say to what he just told me. Knowing everything now, it still didn't make it any better for me. I either choose to stay with Joel or walk away. I don't mind having Ichiru in my life, I just don't know if I can the way he would want it to be. Would I only go with him because he reminds me of Zero?

"I know you can't answer me now, I understand it. I know you see him when you look at me. I just want you to know, I can wait. I am fine with being your friend. I know you need time. Whatever choice you make, I am here for you. Even if that means you stay with Joel. I would like to be in my Niece and Nephews life if you will let me." Ichiru states.

"I would like that very much. I don't know about any of the rest at the moment. I need to think. I need to put someone down on the birth certificate as there father. How do I Put Zero? he doesn't exist here anymore." I say.

"Give them the Kiryu name, I am here. If you don't mind put me down as there father then. Or I can go to sign it, so there is no doubt. I can put Zero Kiryu as there father, just if they look it up...he doesn't exist. I will do it any way you want. If you put me down, I don't want any claim to them, just if they need me I will be here. Plus they get our name their rightful name." Ichiru comments.

"I want them to have Kiryu. I just feel putting you down as their father is betraying Zero. Yet if I do I am betraying my children giving them no father, but even if you say you are their father I want them both to know the truth. I want them to know about Zero." I answer.

"Zero already asked me to do that, and as long as you let me in their life I will." Ichiru states.

"You don't mind saying you're their father?" I ask.

"No, why would I? Zero is my twin, it's like they are mine anyway. If anything ever happens with us, it makes things easier. Even if it doesn't, I am still part of there life. It makes it easier for them too. I do have to admit, I wish they really were mine. I can't help how I feel about you. My brother took forever to see you for what you are, I saw it from the start. I know you love him, Shit, do I know. Just if you be with me, it will be different than it was with him. There is no worryment of going back there. For Yuki or for anything. When my times ends it will end next to you." Ichiru remarks.

I just look at him lost for words. I give him a hug, still not sure of anything. I feel like I am betraying Zero in every way there was possible. Ichiru just came and took over his life. Even if I didn't go with him, my children would know him, never their real father. They would only see Ichiru as their father if I put him on the forms or not. He would be here in person to touch, to see. Where Zero would now just be something out of a story to them.

As I sit there all I can say is Zero why? Why this way? I am happy with having the other child, just not happy about anything else. Our son lost all his memories of him. Was this to save him from hurt? To give him Ichiru instead? I didn't know, I just had my doubts.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

After sitting with Ichiru for a few hours, I know its time to leave. I have to go home to my babies, At the same time, I really don't want to go back to Joel. He didn't do anything wrong, I just felt like I was in the wrong life. I so want to go back to where I was, I just don't know how and it doesn't seem like I can.

I get up and take the box left for me from Zero. Telling Ichiru, I would see him tomorrow. We would go to the hospital together to finish the paperwork. Which I still wasn't sure about.

I walk home slowly taking another look at my home, the home I loved. The home where the person I loved more than anything used to be. I hurt so much inside I could barely breathe. I just try to hide most of it even from Ichiru, knowing his true feelings just made everything worse.

His true feelings just hurt and confuse me even more. I am just torn, my feelings eating away at me. This is so much to handle.

"Mom, Your home," Liz says.

"Yes, sorry to have worried you. I took a long walk, I just needed some fresh air." I respond.

"It's been hours. We were getting worried.." Bri comments.

"Sorry. I am going to lay down, I see the babies are sleeping? Sorry to burden you with them. Just at the moment, I don't feel like myself. I will try better to get myself together."I state.

"Don't worry about it, you had a long few months. We don't mind taking care of them for as long as you need." Joel answers.

I just smile not knowing what to say. What can I say? I wish you were someone else? That I was somewhere else? I just keep that all to myself, knowing I really need to think about all this before making a choice. I know I don't want to do this alone. I want these babies to have a father. I am just not sure where to turn.

I go to my bedroom and lay on the bed, taking the box that Zero left for me. A red wooden box square with a lock. Ichiru gave me the key so I am sure he knows what's in here already. I just stare at it knowing this is the last thing I will ever have or get from Zero. I still have many questions in my mind. I wish I would have gotten to bury him, to remain his wife, Then I realize if it stayed that way, I wouldn't have Destiny. If time stayed the same I would be too old to have her. I would be in my fifties, where now I have ten extra years. I still wish things were different.

I stare at this box, should I open it or just let it go? My heart hurts just wondering what it is it. I just know if I let the box go, I will never know what Zero really wanted. How I wish he was still here, I need him more now than I ever have. I wish he could see our daughter. He would just love her, just like he did our son.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

I keep staring at the red box, till I just decide to open it. Tears run down my face just thinking that Zero put the last items he wanted me to have in here. What could they be?

I open the box to reveal my wedding rings, that he gave me. The ones I was so happy to wear and proud of. I look at my hand and see I am wearing Joel's instead. I take them off and place Zero's back on. He is my true husband, the one I want over everything else. I keep looking in the box to find pictures of us over the ten years, that we spent together. Our wedding, the birth of our son, birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. I know I wasn't dreaming, it was all true. I even find our marriage certificate which I hold close to my heart as I cry out loud. I also find the keys to our home and the deed and a package of a boatload of money.

At the bottom of the box is a letter from Zero. I don't know if I can handle to read this or not. I hurt so bad at the moment, inside and out. I decide to read it. He left it for a reason and I need to know what that is.

My dearest Elena,

I know right now you are hurting and very confused. I am truly sorry for all the pain I am causing you. I can't help it or take it back, It seems that is just what our cruel fate was. I want to thank you for the ten wonderful years you gave to me. I loved being your husband and having our son. I adore both of you. Please do not think, I left you because of Yuki or any other reason. It's because I had no other choice. It's my time to go.

I know, I could have gone out with your still being my wife, giving you the burial I know your missing and the closure. I just thought this would be better to give you back the years you gave me. To let you relive them, and make them better with someone who can go to the end with you. I know our son, will be born. I also know he won't remember me. So he can't hurt for me. I gave you the other child that you wanted. They are both mine and yours. So you will have part of me with you always. The good part.

I also know how my brother feels about you, how he always felt about you. I know your feelings are messed up at the moment. Just I want you to know he is there for you and our children. He can be the father to them that you need. It's hard to give up my life with you and hand you to him or anyone for that matter. But if I have to, I rather it is him, where I know your safe and very loved. Where are children can have my name and live on. Ichiru will tell them about me. He is part of me, my other half. I know how much you love me, That you will feel as if you are betraying me. Please don't. I lived a good life, a happy life. One I would have never had if I never met you. I want you to do the same. If you choose Joel that is fine with me also. Whatever you choose I am happy with. I want you to live on and live the life you want. Happy and not looking over your shoulder. I am sorry for what I put you through with Yuki. That was never my intention, I guess some ties are just hard to be broken.

I love you, Elena, more than you ever will really know. Thank you for giving me, my family. Thank you for everything. Just please move on. The keys to our home, that are in Ichiru's name. I gave you the deed if you still want it it's all yours. Ichiru will have the names changed to go back to you. The money is all the money I saved while I was working at the agency, I want you to have it to raise our children. So you have security. Some of my money is my parents, they had savings also, knowing they wanted to go back they gave it to you and their grandkids. Its a good heavy amount of money. One that you will not need for anything for the rest of your life. I know I won't be there to take care of you, so I did it this way.

Love you always

Zero.

I take a deep breath as the tears stream down my face, a pain in my heart aches. I love you so much how can I move on? I understand everything that he has done now, I don't know if I agree with it all, but I understand it. I just don't know who or what I want. I know I want my old home, I want my old life. The one I lived for the last ten years.


	46. Chapter 46

I hope all of you enjoyed reading this story. I think this should work as an ending. :)

Chapter 46

I lay there all night, just holding the pictures thinking about everything he wrote to me. What do I do? I know deep down, I do not want to be with Joel. There is nothing here, I feel nothing. IT has been ten years since I been with him. I just think to myself, I will have to go through the divorce again and all that again. I am not looking forward to it.

I also think about Ichiru, how could I make this work? He looks just like the man I adore. I will never see him for him, I will only see Zero. I am not sure, I can go with this. I do want our children to have the name and a father that is close to their real one. Just to live and be with Ichiru would take some time to get used to. I am not in love with him. Would this be fair? So many things run through my mind.

Before I know it, its morning time to get up and meet Ichiru to go to the hospital to fix the birth certificates. I know, I can't put Zero down no matter how much I want to. It wouldn't be fair to our children. He doesn't exist in this world. The closest thing to him is Ichiru. Would I ever explain the truth to them? Would they believe me or think I was crazy? Then that meant holding the truth to myself. Knowing what was real and true in my heart and not being able to say it. What good would it do to tell them? It would only bring them pain, if they did believe it and it wasn't going to change a thing. Zero why did you do this? I still wished you didn't.

I get up and go downstairs seeing my sweet babies, I just look at them and see Zero which brings me joy. They are both lovely in every way. I feed, change and pack them to take them with us.

"Where are you going?" Joel asks.

"I am going to fix their birth certificates, I talked to their father and he is going to sign them today," I reply, with a pain in my heart.

"Oh, So he is onboard with this?" Joel asks.

"Yes, he didn't know what happened, that's why he wasn't there," I answer.

"So, I take it you still want the divorce? We are still ending?" Joel says.

"Yes, I am sorry but I no longer want to be married. Let's face it, you are never going to be able to take some others children, and in all honesty, it's not fair to ask you to." I state.

"So I guess that means I move out," Joel replies.

"No, I have somewhere to go with the babies, you stay here in our old home with the girls. That way it's not a big transition for the kids. This house has a lot of memories good and bad. You should keep it."I comment.

I know what happened last time, we sold the house and the kids felt terrible and so did we. It was hurting all the way around to move on. This time, I had a home, Zero left me. Joel could stay here and let the kids have the house they grew up in. Just like it was supposed to be. I guess this is what Zero meant when he said, I could go back. I can fix things I messed up on the first time around. Not seeing anything but wanting to be with him.

Joel just nods as I take the babies and leave. Now I have to talk to Ichiru, I just hope it goes well.

I meet Ichiru at his parent's house, him waiting for me outside. Smiling at me and the twins. I can see he is happy.

"Hey, So glad you came. I have been thinking about this all night."Ichiru says.

"Are you sure about this? Really sure? Once you are on there birth certificates there is no going back. Do you really want to be their father?" I ask.

"Yes, more than you know. I don't have to be jealous or hate anyone. I know the truth about everything. They are my brother's. My twin brothers. No one can understand this circumstance better than me since I was there living it with you and him. The only thing is, Can you handle it being me on there instead of him? Can you co-parent with me? Let and make me be their father?" Ichiru asks.

Looking up at him is hard, I still don't see him, I see Zero. Which makes me want to hold him tight and not let go.

"Yes, I can let you be in their lives as their father. You are the closest thing they have to a real one. You are their blood. I want to move back into my old home. Zero left me the key and deed." I reply.

"Ok, good, that makes you a few doors away from me. I can be there anytime you need me. Will you be able to be around me?" Ichiru asks.

"I am trying, you remind me so much of him. It makes it hard. I can't promise a love relationship. I need to process all this, I need to grieve. I do know I want you in my life and theirs. I am leaving Joel just like I did ten years ago. I know I can't stay married to him. I just don't want to hurt you in the process. " I answer.

"You won't. I know I look exactly like him, which makes things hard. I know you need time but I can be everything you need if you give me that chance. I think that's what Zero was thinking when he left here. " Ichiru states.

"I think so too. He knew you would love and take care of us. In a way, not hurting me as he did. There is no Yuki for you. " I respond.

"No, There isn't. I am broken but I think my brother was even more so. I have moved past everything that was done in the Anime. I see that it was fake, and that life here is real. The last ten years I have enjoyed life. Just seeing what my brother had, I wanted it as well. he took you for granted in a lot of ways. He wasn't strong like me in the sense he couldn't let the Anime go. He dwelled on it, where I didn't." Ichiru confesses.

"You are both different in a lot of ways, and then the same in others. I don't know what is to come, I just have to be honest. I don't think I can ever stop loving your brother. A part of my heart is with him, where ever he is. I have never loved anyone the way I love him. I am not sure if can or even want to. I don't want to hurt you, I just want to be honest with you." I reply.

"I already knew all that. I saw how you were with him. How you looked at him. If you look at me like that even once, I would be happy. " Ichiru admits.

We both go to the hospital and Ichiru signs the birth certificates stating that he is the twin's father. Afterward, I go back to the home me and Zero lived in, opening the door with the key. Everything is still the same, nothing moved or changed. Zero's clothes still in the closet. His scent still in the air. Can I do this? I have no choice. Fate has been strange, it gave me something I wanted more than anything, then it took it away. I guess if I look at it, I was lucky to have ten years with him. I got to share things with him that no other has.

He is and always will remain my heart. Just like the Anime/ Manga, there is no happy ending.


End file.
